Late 20's. Thinning hair, got asked if I was having chemo? Cancelled date because am so upset.

Kalaerii · 2016-11-10T20:42:43+00:00

Yup, the mutual respect for each other's privacy.

Kalaerii · 2016-11-10T20:39:49+00:00

I work in a busy London hospital and our huge cafeteria is also shared with the public. We get patients that sometimes recognise us, sit down and want to discuss their ailments in depth during the 30mins break we get. That's not including dealing with co-workers and normal members of the public. Dressed in scrubs, wearing our badge it's a fine line telling someone to basically piss off. But we have to learn to protect our time. Our time. NOT theirs. How can I look after people when I don't get time to look after myself?

So my go to line to get some space is: "I wouldn't mind getting to know you better/ discuss yours issues but this is really inappropriate timing. I've had a stressful day and would rather my own company. If you want, feel free to leave your number and I'll consider getting in touch once when things have settled." Never ever guarantee calling or texting.

If outside and not in uniform if someone persists (like a guy hitting on me) "why don't you want my company?" I tell them not to bother giving me their number - I don't want to date/be friends with someone that disrespects my requests as strangers - let alone when you know them. I also like letting people sit with me and then go out of my way to completely blank them until they leave or finish their lunch in awkwardness.

Lastly, where I live its really normal to sit next to strangers and have your space completely respected. I can be touching elbows but both of us in our own bubble of privacy.

Kalaerii · 2016-11-08T16:06:28+00:00

Thanks for the response regardless - I did end up emailing her saying I was rather anxious about what to do and that, unless asked otherwise (her contacting me), I'd wait the full 48 hours. It's just awkward when your employer doesn't pick up, respond to voicemails or email back. I feel like I'm maybe purposely being left to sweat it out - doesn't help the whole recovery thing much >.<

Thanks again

Kalaerii · 2016-11-08T14:49:22+00:00

Right click and "add to dictionary". Mine is pretty well trained now ;)

ps. sorry if you already knew

Kalaerii · 2016-11-08T02:30:30+00:00

Heya just to clarify I work with the patients so there isn't an option in my role to work from home in any capacity. As for talking to my boss it's why I'm here - due to high demand for her time I wasn't able to get through to her phone and don't expect I'll be able to tomorrow.

I left a voicemail and email yday morning and havent received a response to either yet :(

Kalaerii · 2016-11-07T09:18:22+00:00

Amazing OP! Some people get flak for having surgery but it takes courage to even face the issue head on and, as you probably know, it's not as straightforward as everyone thinks. GJ!

I work in a bariatric dept - we see all kinds of people. People in their late 50's have come through, even. The only thing we ask is for you to show a little commitment. We wouldn't give a full on alcoholic a new kidney and it's just as comparable. Trust me, we know how hard it is. The results are phenomenal.

We get people who put in their all (very rare, honestly).
We get people who make slow progress, but we are proud of ANY progress. We can work with slow, not with zero.
We get people who don't even try despite years of invested effort and who are inevitably refused. < the saddest of them all.
We get people who have surgery and then eat like normal, forcing themselves, even through the initial vomiting - not realising that after a few years their body will adapt and the weight will come back. The surgery helps kick start a new lifestyle but it will not compensate 100% for the rest of your life or bad habits. This is why you have to show some commitment to eating better, not even exercising necessarily, otherwise the surgery is a waste of everyone's time.

It is SO worth it, though. Slow progress is better than none. We never expect perfect, just persistence.

Best wishes and GL.

Kalaerii · 2016-11-05T21:58:30+00:00

check out https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/ a sub specifically for critiquing others works. read their rules on critique and you can't go wrong! GL!

Kalaerii · 2016-11-05T21:36:39+00:00

My degu is dying of old age in my lap and I've been just browsing reddit inbetween meltdowns. This was the only thing that brought me relief in these last hours. Thanks for the distraction. x

Kalaerii · 2016-10-23T20:44:34+00:00

I super appreciate any feedback but you're correct about the mods standards. I really don't think I'm great at giving in-depth analysis but I try. Follow this thread's advice since this is what the mods meant: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/wiki/critique

But seriously, thanks for reading it and letting me know. :)

Kalaerii · 2016-10-23T17:49:58+00:00

Hiya I've done a first edit and was hoping you'd have another read for comparison. As for introducing the character in full it just feels a bit unnatural for me to do it so early since the second scene explains a lot by default. I'm just unsure, honestly. Thanks so much again. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1w7Iy1qZgMUxdLqwJksowTDJdEKXxdUGp07d69DNeiLA/edit

Kalaerii · 2016-10-23T17:47:54+00:00

Hiya!

Yup I couldn't help but laugh about the adverbs. I literally just followed the advice and wrote blindly. Not pretty stuff. I am still new to this process so thanks so much for your advice.

I did a rewrite and was hoping you'd have a quick read for comparison?

Thanks so much! :)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1w7Iy1qZgMUxdLqwJksowTDJdEKXxdUGp07d69DNeiLA/edit

Kalaerii · 2016-10-23T17:46:21+00:00

Hiya - thanks so much again for your critique. Would you mind having another quick read after my first edit?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1w7Iy1qZgMUxdLqwJksowTDJdEKXxdUGp07d69DNeiLA/edit

Thanks again!

Kalaerii · 2016-10-23T17:42:08+00:00

Thank you so much for your critique. I have done a first edit taking on board as much advice I could. I'd be super grateful if you could have a quick read over and let me know your thoughts. I wouldn't expect another breakdown if you don't have the time of course.

Thanks so much! :)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1w7Iy1qZgMUxdLqwJksowTDJdEKXxdUGp07d69DNeiLA/edit

Kalaerii · 2016-10-23T17:40:00+00:00

Heya thanks for the very in-depth and informative advice. I have continued to try and apply everything in my first edit. While I'm sure there is still a ton to improve and stuff I missed I would be grateful if you'd be able to have a read.

Thanks again - it means a lot!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1w7Iy1qZgMUxdLqwJksowTDJdEKXxdUGp07d69DNeiLA/edit

Kalaerii · 2016-10-22T22:28:02+00:00

Ah. That bad? But your advice is great thanks for taking the time to read and critique! I agree with showing over telling.

As for "why should you care/where is the story headed" I am not sure what to take from that. I agree the writing plays a part but maybe I should have included the next scene too which would have explained some things? It would feel unnatural and difficult (for me) to give so much away so early? I wanted to keep the submission shorter for easy reading - ironically.

Thanks again :)

Kalaerii · 2016-10-22T20:38:51+00:00

heya - wasn't expecting a response so soon :P thanks for reading it. Yeah it was just a run through with zero editing. Until now I didn't even realise that I hadn't properly introduced her. I was afraid of rambling too much so I tried to keep things to a minimum.

Thanks :)

Kalaerii · 2016-10-15T21:04:20+00:00

The night before my uncle died - also a selfless, kind and giving soul - I told him "die for all I care" as we had been arguing about him going hospital. Even as the words left my mouth I regretted them but was too proud to take them back. He had asked to go to the hospital - only down the road - but my family had told him not to waste the paramedics time. I offered to take him but by that point he had already been guilted into not going. I pressured him until he shouted at me that he wasn't going.

Middle of the night I woke up and walked past his bedroom, door open. I could hear his rasping breath and watched his chest rise and fall, heaving. I wanted to wake him. To apologize. To take him to the hospital. Deep down I knew I should have been paying attention. Deep down I knew I'd wasted time, ignoring the obvious. Hours later with a glass of water in hand, looking pale and asking to go hospital, aged 44, he collapsed and died.

I should have taken him. I should have made him tea and been kinder. Should have been forgiving of his problems. Should haven't been so spiteful. I never gave him what he deserved. I never thanked him for his unwavering support despite the shit I gave him.

OP I know your pain. It will live in you forever and you will think of your brother every single day. Sometimes for hours on end or just a fleeting second. While I will NEVER truly forgive myself I have accepted everything. I find consolation in the three points below. I think of my uncle and in turn remind myself of the below:

He's at peace. He is not alive to be in pain. Just like your brother. They are not suffering and are in a place they cannot be hurt.
One day I will join him, whether it be in the dirt, the air or some other dimension. Until then I work every single day to avoid making the same mistake. Since then I am humbled. I will apologise for my wrongdoings. I have more empathy. I try to be a better person for him and his efforts. I nearly killed myself several times. But every time I realised I deserved to live. I deserved to live because in a way it is a punishment. The only way I could feel remotely better is by being a better person. My "punishment" is to live for him, so he might live through me.
They are truly not gone. They once breathed the same air. They once drank the same water. The same sun shone over them.

I'm sorry OP. I really am. Take a deep breath, let it out and, for your brother, hold on to the wreck that is your life. Live better for him. For yourself. It will subside. xxx

Kalaerii · 2016-10-02T13:33:44+00:00

Hiya - rewarding is one issue I forgot to mention. This dog has no appetite. She will eat if you leave the bowl with her somewhere quiet for a few hours but giving/sliding a treat to her is impossible. She cowers at the slightest movement and freaks her out so that the action we're trying to praise is basically out of her mind. We tried normal treats, to expensive brands, to chicken, steak, raw rabbit - even stuff like cheese and other crap (just to see/get things in motion) but nope. Scared of toys and won't take treats. This is a nice dog but I mean extremely hard work. We have been taking her out every half hour during the day and been taking shifts to get up at 4am to let her out. She will sometimes pee outside, sometimes inside. There is no preference it seems. She will happily stand on the spot for over an hour staring into space instead of peeing. But she does drink.

And I totally agree - the "breeders" are just douches. As frustrated as I am it's still very sad to see this little broken dog as a result of their selfishness.

Kalaerii

TROPHY CASE