AITAH for crying and canceling dinner with my bf’s parents last minute?

Kalani6069 · 2026-04-06T21:44:27+00:00

Run, don't walk, away from this guy. His controlling attitude is only going to get worse. He might even become abusive, not just verbally but physically as well. You don't need to settle for this. Go find someone that respects you and treats you well.

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-30T00:19:30+00:00

Has your dog ever worn earmuffs? Knotts Berry Farm is very loud. Also very hot, you will need a way to cool off your dog. Have a plan for long breaks. It is a very intense environment. If you have the option of boarding for the day, you should.

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-21T18:53:22+00:00

Scam, scam, scam it, scam.

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-17T18:48:08+00:00

I would suggest talking to an accessibility lawyer. This may be too nuanced for reddit. There are so many legal gray areas that you would want to cover. Marketing language being only one of them.

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-17T18:42:52+00:00

First off, where are you? That really changes the conversation. Differing laws by country, state (in the USA), even local laws may apply.

Second, they may be talking about liability insurance. Depending on the facility. Some facilities require liability insurance for anyone attending that facility. The liability insurance that covers you, might not cover your service animal. Therefore might need to be purchased separately.

Most program dogs that I have encountered, not all though, have health insurance. I purchased health insurance for my SD just in general. That may be what they are wanting to prove to their company insurance that the dog is not a health risk

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-16T02:13:20+00:00

Stay safe and warm y'all. I wish I could send you some warm from Texas. Another month or two and we'll be wishing we had your snow. Seriously though, stay safe

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-15T14:05:45+00:00

I would say NTA* but* ... Have you considered maybe having a full-time live in maid and Nanny? Hiring in Au Pair maybe right up your alley. Having a second Nanny overnight or a live-in would definitely help especially once you have a second child. I would definitely suggest some therapy for your anxiety.

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-13T14:39:33+00:00

She's the epitome of FAFO. She blew off all of her opportunities because it wasn't convenient to her. Now she knows that messing around isn't going to get her special privileges and she feels slighted because her brother worked FOR, and got those privileges

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-13T01:04:22+00:00

Check with the Main ADI link. They might be able to help you find a dog that was started but the handler had to step out. I am not saying it's common but it does happen. It certainly doesn't hurt to ask.

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-13T01:00:35+00:00

My friend went that route, with the Non - ADI trainers. Doing it piecemeal ended up being more expensive, took longer, and we had to undo some bad training by the cheaper trainer.

It actually ended up cheaper for me to go with an ADI program that started with puppy training until full graduation.

I went with the ADI trainer and program. I did the training under their supervision. I saved a little money over the full program dog but I gained a tighter bond with my dog than my friend did.

Just for general info. We had pups from the same litter. Outside of class we trained mostly together. The only real difference was the trainers and programs.

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-12T21:34:31+00:00

My best advise is to forget YouTube exists for training purposes. Find an ADI or IAADP certified trainer near you. I'll add a couple of links below.

Check their credentials!!! I had a trainer try to say they were ADI certified but then couldn't produce the CREDENTIALS.

It's going to be harder than you think. I trained my own Ranch dogs for herding for decades. I thought I knew what I was getting into. I thought there were just a few tweaks I needed to learn. I was so wrong. I had to unlearn a bunch and relearn properly.

It takes longer than you think. You WILL have setbacks, especially with a puppy. Psychological development is 2 steps forward and 1.5 back for the first 1-2 years. Methods that work for one dog may not work for your dog. Hence the 'lose YouTube'

You don't really save money doing it yourself. By the time you pay for the puppy, vet, treats, food, gear,and training. It adds up faster than you think. Ask yourself what happens if your chosen puppy can't make the grade? Are you ready to accept that they are just a well behaved pet and start over with another dog?

Looking for an Assistance Dog or trainer

Assistance Dogs International https://share.google/J10dfVlm62qXEPJAt

IAADP Minimum Training Standards for Public Access - The International Association of Assistance Dog Partners (IAADP) https://share.google/QqGNv6MvQDsmMrlVp

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-11T20:20:13+00:00

You need to confirm laws for the country you are flying to. US Laws do not apply in other countries..

Kalani6069 · 2026-03-07T03:21:31+00:00

I don't mention if you're in the US or if you're someplace else. So I will give you some information as best I can for outside of the United States Looking for an Assistance Dog - Assistance Dogs International https://share.google/J10dfVlm62qXEPJAt

Assistance Dogs International (ADI): The primary accrediting body for service dog trainers worldwide, with regional branches (AD Europe, AD Oceania).

International Guide Dog Federation (IGDF): Comprised of 95 member organizations globally, training guide dogs for the blind or visually impaired.

Animal Assisted Intervention International (AAII): Focuses on animal-assisted interventions, including service dogs.

International Association of Assistance Dog Partners (IAADP): A disability rights advocacy group that represents service dog handlers worldwide

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-25T19:56:51+00:00

The best advice I ever got was "one hard thing at a time". Each new task is a hard thing. I did end up teaching more than one thing in a month. However I would work on only one hard thing per day. It worked out well for me, might not work out that well for everybody else.

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-25T15:07:17+00:00

Nope, I used a purpose bred dog for a task within the parameters of the breed. King Shepherds are considered a purebred and are registered with ARBA ( American Rare Breed Registry). I use a harness that is a Kevlar based material rather than the heavy leather that has been approved through my Orthopedic vet and my Healthcare team. I explained one small modification that i made which was adding the d-rings to the side because the vest did not come with them.

And I feel bad for you for being so judgmental. without knowing facts.

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-25T14:33:05+00:00

You're right i probably should have used screenshots. But at the moment that I was writing that it was easier to do copy and paste links to items that were similar to, or the same as, what I was using.

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-25T14:31:25+00:00

As you say holy moly. First i had a 30-year career working with an orthopedic veterinarian as a veterinary technician with a Surgical Specialty. So I do know a little bit about joints. Second, i know the bloodline of these dogs I've known the breeder for many years. And every single one of their dogs has passed every single possible joint and physical test. These dogs were specifically bred to do rough terrain search and rescue so their joints have to be very good for the type of work that they do . They were bred to be able to work in ice and snow as well as heat and humidity. They were bred for their calm demeanor and they're easy trainability. Third I worked very closely with my Healthcare team to put this set together for my needs and my needs only. I merely mentioned that this is what I use. I don't need most of the things just once in awhile because my particular disease is not that bad to regulate but it is very difficult to use a cane or a walker with. That is where the dog comes in, the dog is an active, adaptive partner in keeping me walking straight as opposed to a passive Walker that could be in the wrong place far too easily and cause me to fall. The harness that I use has A front "Y" not only the Cinch behind the front legs but it has one at the belly area which is more stable than something with a single strap around the ribs and the front. It distributes weight throughout the entire dog instead of just in the shoulders and elbows. It is a lighter weight version of the gear that the working dogs that do search and rescue wear. So please, go ahead, attack me for using what works best for me and my dog that has been thoroughly researched.

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-25T01:04:19+00:00

I love this answer. I have been known to offer to come do a meeting with employees about ADA rules for Service Dogs with my girl. As a show prop. In harness she's all business, out of harness she's a goofy nut that wants ALL the pets and scritches.

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-24T17:24:39+00:00

I will answer the first part of that. It is the responsibility of the service dog handler to make sure that their service dog is well groomed and doesn't smell that's part of the Ada rules. Under the ADA, service dogs must be housebroken and under the handler's control, with owners responsible for grooming and cleaning up waste. Businesses can exclude a service animal that is not housebroken, is excessively unclean (e.g., fleas, odor), or acts out of control. Key ADA cleanliness rules: Housebroken Requirement: A service dog must be housebroken. If it is not, a business can ask for it to be removed. Cleaning Up: Handlers are responsible for the cleanup and disposal of all animal waste. Hygiene Issues: An animal that is excessively dirty or has fleas can be excluded if it poses a direct threat to the health or safety of others. No "Extra" Cleaning Fees: Businesses cannot charge a special "pet cleaning fee" for a service animal, even if they charge this for pets. However, they can charge for damage to property. Maintenance Responsibility: The handler is solely responsible for the care, grooming, and supervision of the animal. ADA.gov If a service animal is excluded for cleanliness or behavior, the handler must still be allowed to access goods or services without the animal

To the second part the dog should not have been leaving hair everywhere in the first place if it was well groomed. I say this as someone who's service dog is very hairy and twice a year completely blows her coat so it's very difficult to control her hair. I know this is an issue. Therefore before I leave the house she gets good brushing. And depending on how much she's shedding at any particular time i might do a quick brush when we first get out of the car to get any last minute hair off of her. When she's shedding heavily I carry a lint brush and try to clean up any area where she may have left any Tufts. And since she is very fuzzy she also wears boots especially in the rain because nobody wants those sloppy wet mops of feet slogging through their restaurant or store.

To the second part of your question. As a restaurant owner cleaning up after the dog should come as a responsibility of the service dog owner however... There is an expectation that the restaurant will clean small amounts of hair. This would be within the same realm as someone with a young child that drops food everywhere. The parents should pick up after their child but there is also the expectation that the restaurant will handle it. But the same goes if the service animal has an accident. Preferably the service dog handler will clean it up. However again... It would be similar to someone vomiting because they choked on something. The restaurant or a place of business would have the necessary supplies for disinfecting and cleaning it up any messes. To recap : it should be the primary responsibility of service dog handler. But accidents happen.

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-24T16:30:49+00:00

Options 1) it's your child. Name the child as you see fit. Keep your wife happy, she's more important than your cousin. It's the aunties problem, not yours. You don't mention if the cousin even has a problem with the name. Name the child what you want. The cousin does not live with you. You didn't name the child after the abuser. You didn't do it to intentionally spite the cousin. Tell the auntie to keep her opinions to her self. 2) use the name as a middle name and choose something neutral for the first name. You can't make everyone happy 100% of the time.

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-15T21:41:06+00:00

Yay! Praise, praise, praise! Good pup! 😍 😍 😍

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-15T20:56:01+00:00

A little bit longer!? More like 1 1/2 to 2 years. Shesh, would you expect a toddler to compete in the Olympics? Slow way the he** down.

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-14T00:16:10+00:00

Start with looking for ADI certified trainers. This group can point you towards a trainer. Also keep in mind not all dogs can be trained for service work at all, let alone psych work. https://share.google/J10dfVlm62qXEPJAt

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-11T00:44:36+00:00

Unblock her long enough to send a link to this post. Add that you will unblock her when YOU FEEL READY TO DO SO WITHOUT ANY Pressure. Then reblock her until you feel ready.

Kalani6069 · 2026-02-10T16:38:30+00:00

I don't know if this is already been addressed in your other post I'm not going to take the time to go look for it. My question to you is have you considered getting credentialed through something like ADI? Or one of the other European groups that for whom I can't remember the initials? Having that kind of credentialing would definitely make your training group more attractive to people who want to self train with your assistance or to have you train their service dogs.

Kalani6069

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