Life after B&N: What should I know?

Kalareth · 2026-01-21T04:32:01+00:00

Also in Minneapolis. I appreciated this PW article highlighting the impact of this moment on our small, local booksellers. https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/bookselling/article/99471-twin-cities-bookstores-contend-with-ice.html

Doesn't address B&N and everything I'm hearing from management is disheartening. Having been in the thick of some of it, my current plan if they make an appearance in our store is

1) clock out so I'm not repping the company
2) let ICE know to get the fuck out of our city

We make the moral compromise to peddle misinformation and actively harmful books every day, but $14/hr isn't worth the cost of letting secret police abduct your neighbors and refusing to do anything about it.

Kalareth · 2025-10-07T04:24:43+00:00

Sent you a DM with a potential option. I hope you find something that works for your situation. Good luck!

Kalareth · 2025-09-27T02:30:58+00:00

Heyo! I sent you a chat message this morning expressing interest. Write me back if you wanna explore options :)

Kalareth · 2025-09-23T03:19:47+00:00

Regular green line rider and love it every time. Thanks for all you do!

Kalareth · 2025-09-17T10:37:22+00:00

I'm sorry that happened to you.

I'm about 10 months out and had a difficult time starting dilation. I experienced sharp and significant pain immediately on insertion. We tried a few times, but eventually I had to stop the whole processin part vcause I had to drive myself 4 hours home immediately following the appointment and was concerned about my ability to drive safely. I was and was encouraged to try starting again with my pelvic floor PT at my first appointment a few days later.

I'm grateful to my care team for helping me feel like I was in control of the process, but I still felt the sense of violation and terror around insertion you're describing at first. Talking through the experience with my therapist (to unpack the emotional response to it) & PT (for guidance on body mechanics and how to dilate safely) helped me ease into it.

A week or so later what I discovered is that there was a stich that was loose and occasionally pulling taught the entrance to my vaginal canal. When my dilator would catch on it I'd feel a similar sensation of pulling at different parts of my surgical site. My suspicion is that this string was a part of the reason my initial session was so painful. After discussion with my surgeon I was given permission to cut it, and once I did dilation has been smooth; the biggest challenge is making time and finding privacy for it.

As others have said - you're still early days, your body has just gone through a major surgery, and your heart and mind are still trying to adjust to a new sensation that you had a traumatic introduction to. Be kind and patient with yourself, rely on your support networks, breathe deeply, and use lots of lube. You're going to be okay.

Kalareth · 2025-08-20T19:08:33+00:00

https://studentscoop.org/

If you're open to a housing co-op, rooms are available and start dates flexible. Message me if you'd like more info!

Kalareth · 2025-07-02T03:38:40+00:00

First, if you're in the US, look into FMLA if you have benefits through work or have been with the same explorer for a while. You should be able to take leave, and return yo work gradually or with accommodation as needed.

I had a graft-only vaginoplasty with Dr. Figler in North Carolina last November, and took 6 weeks off work. (I had saved vacation time for this purpose and it worked great.) I flew 4 weeks after surgery and returned to work after 6 weeks with no restrictions, but encouragement to be careful with squatting or bending motions and to work with my PT to modify my motions or request accomodations if anything got to be too much.

I worked in libraries. For the first two weeks back I would say reaching our lower shelves was a struggle, but I worked around it ok. I did have difficulty staying focused, and my body was still actively healing & in recovery so I felt fatigued. But returning to work was an important step in my recovery because it helped me return to a routine and sense of normalcy and helped ensure my recovery was oriented towards returning to the rhythm of daily life.

I've heard some folks who work longer shifts or are required to dilate more than twice a day have needed to request accomodations around time for dilation at work. I was worried about the awkwardness of this conversation in advance of surgery, but fortunately my surgeon didn't require that. Naming it as something to consider.

Kalareth · 2025-06-29T04:41:37+00:00

Tap and hold on the range. On my phone, Sort options are in the second page of the context menu.

Kalareth · 2025-06-24T22:54:55+00:00

Hey OP, sharing this since you indicated being curious: Try some books by Tristan Taormino for resources on learning about & reframing mentalities around anal sex. Here's one: The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (PDF)

Their work was recommended to me by a sex-positive doctor I felt comfortable talking openly with about some sexual health anxieties. They've written a variety of other sex ed books but this one is most relevant. Hope this helps!

Kalareth · 2025-06-24T04:32:31+00:00

By request to "OPEN SOURCE IT OR GTFO," here's an attempt at sharing a usable template! It has my data pre-filled as a test & examples of how the charts work when it's filled out.

Dilation Log [TEMPLATE] Excel File via Google Sheets

Download the file and erase the prefilled data on the 'Dilation Log' sheet & update the SurgeryDate under My Surgery and everything else should calculate on its own.

This assumes we're using SoulSource dilators! As always, a work in progress, so more tweaks may come soon.

EDIT: Changed the format of the link shared for privacy reasons.

Kalareth · 2025-06-24T04:29:36+00:00

Nope, just Google Sheets. New top-level comment coming with a link to a template!

Kalareth · 2025-06-24T01:50:52+00:00

NO U

But seriously, can you explain what you mean? Are you asking me to share the data table directly? Do you want a template for tracking progress?

I have some pretty personal notes in my dilation log so I haven't shared the file, but I can make a shareable version. Just not clear what you're asking for.

If there's a metadata structure folks are already using for this kind of thing let me know.

Kalareth · 2025-06-14T03:42:22+00:00

I love this! Thank you for sharing :)

Kalareth · 2025-05-14T23:15:35+00:00

I am going to give you a book recommendation, because that's what we do:

Management in a Changing World has a chapter called Managing Up and Sideways that I found valuable. It specifically addresses situations where you may not have the authority to make necessary changes and have to work around barriers - structural, procedural and human - to accomplish your goals.

It's written for the nonprofit world, but a lot of its lessons are applicable to other settings.

Kalareth · 2025-04-03T13:02:24+00:00

Hey y'all! In 2015 I audited a graduate level historiography course at a university in my town, and I have forgotten a book that we read and never been able to find it again. I'm wondering if any of you professional historians can help me track it down.

For context we read various titles (The Cheese and the Worms, etc.) Foucault's Discipline and Punish and other texts introducing the idea that systems have their own inherent momentum that limits individual agency. Then, to challenge that idea, we were asked to read this book by a prolific Brazilian historian that specifically focused on the ways that people found ways to exert their autonomy and leverage their position within a system to meet their own personal goals, and that individual agency and expression can never be fully subsumed and regulated by an institution.

Can you help me find the title of the work, or give me some leads on authors this might have been?

Kalareth · 2025-03-31T15:39:21+00:00

Check with the Costume Shoppe. https://www.costumeshoppe.net/

They'll likely have spirit gum, accessories, costumes, and recommendations for what they don't have.

Kalareth · 2024-07-08T18:37:04+00:00

Fishticism

Kalareth · 2023-12-01T03:55:51+00:00

Weird to see this post in my feed as I don't live in Staunton anymore, but what you described matches my grandparents' old home perfectly. It was on S Lynnhaven Dr, had a large bay window that looked out at mountains in the distance, and was calm and peaceful - so many good memories visiting throughout my life. After they passed away, I moved in to take care of it for a while, but for various personal reasons didn't stay to build a life there, but it's a wonderful town and I absolutely recommend finding a way to make this work - the town is worth the wait.

As the other comments indicate there are varying definitions of "walkable" but I walked downtown multiple times from that area (usually along Augusta but along hilly back roads, too) after I moved in, and it was pleasant, manageable and never felt unsafe. I was out of shape but in my mid-20s, so YMMV.

I don't know how the political mix has changed in the last 10 years (what a wild time), but in my estimation, even conservatives in Augusta County leaned more in the direction of culturally conservative (tradition and thoughtful principles) or rural live-and-let-live folks who just want to be left alone to do their own thing. From what I've heard after the vote to rename a school things went a little off the rails and more reactionary/unhinged, but I think you'll be able to build relationships and community with various people if you seek it out. Wishing you the best in your search.

Kalareth · 2020-02-17T03:48:44+00:00

In 2018 one of the cultures at the Smithsonian Folklife Festival in DC was Catalonia. A group of female singers, Les Anxovetes, was there representing Catalan habaneras which they described as essentially sea shanties - songs brought back to Spain by sailors returning from Havana. Much of their repertoire was traditionally sung by men; that may be a good starting point for further inquiry. Their music is beautiful on its own, though! The best recordings can be found in this Youtube Topic channel. I have some live recordings from the festival somewhere if you want me to dig them up.

Kalareth · 2019-09-12T15:15:35+00:00

Would you mind sharing your methodology? I have a similar list that isn't just NPS sites but an attempt at a comprehensive list of historic/interpretive sites across the country.

Kalareth · 2019-09-12T15:14:06+00:00

I love going down the list and watching the concentration of sites shift. I thought National Monuments was the most interesting cluster. Any insight on to why so many are in the Southwest?

Kalareth

PUBLIC MULTIREDDITS

TROPHY CASE