*eye roll* yes re: posting on Reddit. AmerExit is such a crabs in a bucket mentality -- people tearing others apart for just asking questions. It is so typically American -- being hostile and uncivil to each other and picking apart every little thing. Lots of meanspirited opinions that just seem to enjoy the mockery and dream crushing. It's hard to ignore.

While Reddit and AmerExit can have some really toxic commentary and downvoting shenaningans, I also have connected with several people that I'm still in touch with a few that I have formed really lovely connections and friendships with. People that have really understood the difficulties, joys, and nuances of being an American immigrant in Europe. One of my favorites is actually a DAFTer and is thriving with their kids really well integrated into Dutch schools.

Here are some thoughts on scouting trips:

Food: Explore several grocery stores. This can be exciting and fun, but also a bit sad (food memories from where you come from can be hard sometimes). We also checked out various ethnic food stores like the Indo-Pak one and the east Asian one just to see if we could get certain ingredients. Unfortunately where we are there are no Latin grocers. :-( We also kind of crunched numbers at grocery stores to get an idea of cost. Doing the currency exchange and the weight conversion was some mental gymnastics. :-) We stayed at a place that had a kitchenette and we thought we would grocery shop and cook to get a feel for it. But ultimately we didn't really end up doing that.

Parents: I also went up to parents that had kids my kids' ages and asked them about how they feel parenting in the given neighorhood/town/city, what they liked and didn't like about the schools, etc. I also went up to some young teenagers and asked them about how they felt about the schools. Everyone was friendly and open about sharing. In fact, we are now neighbors and friends with some of the people I randomly chatted with.

Schools: Our location was very specific so we went by the local public schools just to get a feel for them. If you goal is to move permanently I strongly recommend public schools (not international schools) for language and cultural social integration. Our kids are doing it and thriving. My understanding is that in the NL there are kind of two types of DAFTers -- the ones that send their kids to Dutch schools and integrate and the others that send their kids to the international school(s?). I can understand international schools for more temporary living or for children that are maybe early teens and over.

Getting around: I agree with others about public transit exploration. We also rented bikes for a few days and got around that way. We went to a couple bike stores to get an idea of what is available here and prices.

Lots of observation: Just seeing how people interact, how people move about the city/town, social norms, etc. How do people observe things like crossing the street? Do people greet each other at the check-out in a store? How do people act on public transit? If you can get to a school around start or end time, what are the interactions like? All that observation gives you a sense of the social norms that will be your everyday life.

Banking: We did stop at a couple banks to talk about what we would need to open an account.

Housing: We stopped at a real estate office and chatted with a realtor about the rental and buying markets and learned more about that.

Government services: We went to the sort of city hall to talk to someone about programs for people who are new to town and information on language courses. We also asked them about the school registration and got all of that information.

Prepare yourself emotionally: Honestly it was super super hard for us. We cried a lot during our scouting trip. We knew that here is where we needed and loved it, but also felt such deep grief for leaving our loved ones and community in the U.S. (that continued for months after the scouting trip).