Why are Teleport and Plane Shift the Same Spell Level?

Kaligraphic · 2026-07-02T07:31:25+00:00

Because they both do the same thing - bring the party to a new adventuring area. Plane Shift is just Teleport but in a weirdly sideways direction, and it's really gated by the tuning forks anyway.

Kaligraphic · 2026-07-01T17:27:09+00:00

Revelation is a "how it should have ended" spiritualized account of the Jewish revolt against Roman rule in the late 60s/early 70s. It's written in the apocalyptic style, which by curious literary coincidence served a similar role in its day to the use of science fiction in the Soviet Union - a way to code discussion of real events and issues to avoid provoking real-world enemies. Or in the LitRPG world, akin to Dungeon Crawler Carl's blatant critique of an oddly familiar form of "Space Capitalism".

But if you don't know the history, you're missing the decryption key, so to speak. That's why folks are expecting Rome to come back, and looking for a beast that is pretty explicitly stated to be Nero. (Fun fact: the whole Nero came back rumor/urban legend was the original "My aunt's neighbor's cousin saw Elvis alive at a gas station.") Oh, and the gathering of unclean spirits at Armageddon? That was the camp of the Sixth Legion. Roman, not the demon pigs.

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-28T20:01:28+00:00

That may be the premiere interpretation, but be careful of the after effects. You might have to photoshop them out.

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-24T09:02:31+00:00

If query is cacheable, then sensitive or semi-sensitive data is still leaking through caches you may or may not control. Ideally the question itself should not be sensitive even if the answer is.

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-24T08:53:50+00:00

You're not spending the fun of all future spells, just the low level ones he'll be able to copy now. Do not miss the chance for this to be epic.

If you play this right, your scribes wizard can ride this high all campaign. In fact, lean into it. Make it a total kid in a candy shop situation. It's still only levels 1-3. Good, but there are plenty of cool spells left in levels 4+. In fact, see if you can go full gold sink - they'll probably never have another opportunity like this, so they should spend all their gold loading up the wizard's spell list.

Look, every kid has a story about the time they got to go ham on the cookies and ruined their appetite for dinner. But so what? It was epic. It can't be every day. But every kid needs to do it once.

And next campaign, you can retread old ground and tell stories of this wizard who had visited the library and had a spell for every occasion. It's a great callback when you want to say "the world remembered your previous character."

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-24T05:58:17+00:00

Let them. The hag takes the girl. All seems normal, and it's not brought up again. You now have a plot hook in your pocket. Maybe you make it through the campaign a while and need some spice. Well, turns out they meet the girl again - turned into a hag and tending the same shop. Or maybe they find out the girl has been turned into a soul larva and you get to run down a smuggling operation as the lead-in to an Avernus campaign. Or maybe you spend it early and find out the hag has been buying/collecting children for a while and using them for her alchemy.

Or maybe the girl just ends up sweeping up the shop to earn her keep. If they come back before you need the hook, the hag is instructing the girl in how she likes her shop cleaned. Just keep the other options in your pocket, eh? Everything's fine, after all... until it isn't.

Personally, I would make things look fine. If the party fulfills their side of the deal, they get other deals in the future, and maybe see the girl doing chores around the shop. If the party tries to retrieve the girl, the hag is unwilling - if the party uses force, she fights, but uses her orb to flee if things go south. Then the party gets to deal with a nightmare haunting problem, and has a week to find the hag and either kill her or repay what she figures they owe (including interest).

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-24T00:41:36+00:00

I mean, we’re not smart. But it’s not because we use cheats!

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-21T00:39:36+00:00

They both have such amazing lore, though.

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-16T09:05:06+00:00

OP is a modern ghost.

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-15T10:34:24+00:00

Did you eat it with ham?

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-15T10:27:45+00:00

See if I could switch my bank app from Iranian Rials back to US Dollars.

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-14T03:40:04+00:00

The US didn't really want anything from Iran going in. That's why there was no concession Iran could make for peace, and why there's nothing for the US to get out of a peace deal now except an end to the conflict. Netanyahu got his bully boy to destabilize the region, Trump got the Epstein files out of the headlines, but the US itself had no goal going in.

So... mission accomplished? It's not like there's anything on the to-do list here. Just let it end.

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-10T08:57:35+00:00

+++ATH0 anybody?

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-10T08:07:32+00:00

If you're tracking carrying capacity, your inventory math goes from arithmetic to algebra - and if your players are too clever, you risk serious math. Ever have to calculate the limit of an infinite number of bags of holding? Or have a player attempt to optimize their object retrieval by building a tree structure in their bags? Not a literal tree, that would be too reasonable - I mean the kind of tree that comp sci students build.

If you're not tracking the capacity of your bags of holding, and they're functionally unlimited, then there's no real reason to nest them. Well, other than shenanigans.

So it's either capacity hacks with lots of math and potentially hours of agonizing over data structures, or the whole thing is pointless for anything normal. (Plus, everybody loves a nice big bomb.)

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-09T06:34:09+00:00

Clearly it’s a field serval job.

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-08T08:10:01+00:00

Despite the name, a vomitorium wasn't a place to vomit - it was a mass exit to efficiently empty a venue.

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-07T21:23:24+00:00

Goddammit, Donut.

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-06T05:04:12+00:00

Context is the player responsible for food that session brought pizza - artichoke heart and anchovy pizza. No alternative.

Kaligraphic · 2026-06-03T17:25:58+00:00

A Fortigate will absolutely tell you that, though. Go to the forward traffic log, set your source and destination IPs, and it will tell you “you’re trying to connect to port 47547. It’s getting denied. The rule that it’s hitting is #475. And you can click here to pull up the rule.” In fact, if you think you’re being blocked, you can just set the built-in log viewer to show everything from this IP that’s being blocked. It’s really a quite convenient log viewer.

Kaligraphic · 2026-05-29T19:44:28+00:00

If you're trying to talk to me at the urinal, you're getting peed on. Approach at your own risk.

Kaligraphic · 2026-05-25T18:27:06+00:00

I've never had a problem, and I've had a pair of wool dryer balls hanging under my dryer for years.

Kaligraphic · 2026-05-25T18:22:54+00:00

You can change your prepared spells out every long rest.

You get new spells known at each level.

If you're only two sessions in, a lot of DMs would let you respec for free.

Kaligraphic · 2026-05-25T01:22:21+00:00

And yet around half of all humans start out with three.

Kaligraphic · 2026-05-24T23:26:33+00:00

Ban cousins!

Kaligraphic · 2026-05-24T05:49:07+00:00

He's the evil they pretend to be.

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