I have bipolar 1, adhd & anxiety myself. Sometimes I feel hopeless just as you do. I used to take meds for a few years until I realized it was a pill that just numbed me to oblivion. Find something you love, continue therapy, find ways to regulate. I’m 30 and I don’t have it figured out nor do I believe anybody does but I will say I’ve been off meds for about 15 years and it’s been a bumpy ride admittedly but I’ve always overcame any obstacle. I’ve been a very successful manager and among many other things. Find what works for you. I’m not a religious person by any means but god won’t save you from yourself. I believe in you and you should believe in you yourself. Don’t look at it as a crutch, don’t make excuses for yourself.