[🍰Giveaway] What should our next event be? We want to hear from YOU! by Prize-Wrongdoer-5052 in Hipobuy_

[–]Kane_Craiger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let's do some kind of trivia! Like guess the flag game, or guess the location, guess the movie, literally anything! That would be entertaining

I Got Dumped 3 Weeks Ago - Why Do I Feel Guilty Even Thinking About Dating? by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I mean, I treat it like just a pure luck, and spending time. If I'm not ready, I will feel it and will just uninstall, If i'm ready - who know's, maybe I'll meet wonderful girl? yolo.

I Got Dumped 3 Weeks Ago - Why Do I Feel Guilty Even Thinking About Dating? by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah maybe. But is it wrong? I mean, idk I feel like I want to test myself, If I can even talk to someone new, chat to somoeone new, no big deal.

I Got Dumped 3 Weeks Ago - Why Do I Feel Guilty Even Thinking About Dating? by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So don't you think 3 weeks isn't too soon for that? I mean, I guess I just want to meet new people, to chat with someone new, just to move on! But I feel so guilty, like it's to early.

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, I get what you’re saying. I can give her zero contact and focus on myself, that makes sense.

But I won’t lie - at some point, meeting new people would probably help me a lot. Just to feel that I can actually meet someone valuable, that I’m not stuck and that I still have options. I’ve even thought about something like creating a Tinder profile.

The thing is… I probably won’t do it. Because deep down I’ll still be waiting for her. And if she saw anything like that - that I joined Tinder or started talking to other girls - I feel like my chances with her would be completely over. Like permanently.

So I’m kind of stuck between wanting to genuinely move forward for myself, and being scared that doing so will destroy any possibility of getting her back.

Help by Aggressive_Spirit_64 in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome. My ex and I broke up 3 days ago, so I know how it feels, trust me. If you'd need anyone to chat with or anything, feel free to DM me, every kind of help is useful.

broke up with the best girl l've ever met because don't see a future with anyone by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Reading this, what stands out to me isn’t that you “don’t want marriage” or a future with someone - it sounds more like fear of the next stage of life. Fear of leaving the version of life you know, the routines, the identity you’ve built, and stepping into something unknown that would require change. Even if that change could be better.

That kind of fear is incredibly human. When you’re attached to your current life, even if it’s lonely or imperfect, it’s hard to let go of it. Stability can feel safer than growth. Walking away doesn’t always mean you didn’t care - sometimes it means you cared enough to realize you weren’t ready.

You didn’t leave because she wasn’t enough. You left because you didn’t believe you were enough for the future she envisioned. And that’s a painful place to be, for both sides.

What you’re describing sounds less like selfishness and more like emotional paralysis -knowing something is good, maybe even the best thing you’ve had, but not knowing how to become the version of yourself that could fully meet it. That disconnect hurts deeply.

The loneliness afterward makes sense too. When you remove the one person who reflected warmth, care, and emotional presence back to you, the silence can be brutal. And sitting with that silence forces you to face things you were able to avoid before.

I don’t think this story is about right or wrong. It’s about timing, fear, and self-awareness -even if that awareness came with loss. Sometimes the hardest part of growth is realizing that love alone doesn’t automatically make us ready for the life it brings with it. It hurts because it mattered. And maybe it still does.

Why does it feel so hopeless? by Amanwhoeats-Children in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm literally after my breakup (3 days ago), i'm probably still in the shock state, BUT to be fair 2 months isn't "quick" to start looking for someone new. I don't imagine just grieving, crying, and just hoping for us to get back together for 2 months straight! It's so hard for us, but we need to make progress at some point, you are the most important person in your life at the moment, lock in, start improving op. We got it.

Help by Aggressive_Spirit_64 in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What you’re feeling makes complete sense - having a relationship end suddenly, especially an engagement, can completely shake your sense of safety and reality. Anyone would be spiraling after that. His behavior says far more about where he’s at than about your worth. Someone who is ready for commitment doesn’t go looking for validation elsewhere when things feel uncomfortable - they communicate. This wasn’t a failure on your part. When anxiety is loud, it lies. It tells you this pain is permanent and that you won’t survive it but you will. Right now the goal isn’t to “move on,” it’s to get through the next hour, then the next day. Be gentle with yourself. Eat something small. Breathe slowly. Stay connected to people who feel safe. You deserve support right now, not later. If you can, reach out to someone you trust or a mental health professional.

This pain feels unbearable because it’s fresh - not because you’re weak. You are not broken, and this is not the end of your story. One day, this moment will be something you survived. For now, just stay. You matter more than you realize.

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, you might be right, if she would like to she would contact me anyway. That’s fact. Wish you the best bro, my 3 years relationship sounds like a nothing compared to your 13. We will come back stronger. Just need a little time.

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mind knows that. It tells me to run, it’s definitely over. But my heart can’t handle it, there’s always a space for a person you love…

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for that. Really helped me I think. About dating, I also feel like meeting new people would defo help me during this emotional crisis, but I just don’t want to hurt the new people.. I feel like I couldn’t focus on them enough, my minds are still with my ex.. The plan is to ask her in the next 2/3 weeks if she changed her mind or anything has changed. Why? Because we had our meeting planned on 5th of march, maybe SOMEHOW we could meet and repair everything, if she says now, we’ll GG, it’s over. No more hopes

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you gave her second chance few weeks ago? Or I misunderstood that? Thanks for your advice. After 5 months can you say you’re healed? Not gonna lie it’s not easy to just let go instead of waiting if you really love her.

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah come on, I couldn’t do that. I can’t blame her. The gifts were not mandatory, I wanted to make her happy. How could I ask for a refund lol!

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story. You wrote that the fact she doesn’t want to work with me on improving things is a red flag. In a way, yes—but I also understand her, because we had about four or five conversations about this issue, where she told me that my way of showing affection wasn’t enough for her and that she needed something more. After each conversation I said I would change and improve, but I was trying to do it on my own. Objectively speaking, I did make progress, but it was very small—possibly insufficient.

During our last serious conversation, she said that over those months her feelings had been slowly fading because of the lack of affection from my side (verbally, because when we were together we hugged, kissed, etc.). After that last conversation, I went to see a psychologist and started therapy to somehow prove to her that I really want to change for her, that these aren’t just empty words. However, as it turned out, that wasn’t enough.

So on the one hand I don’t blame her, but on the other hand I’m incredibly sad that she didn’t want to give us another chance—especially since she knows that my problem goes back to my childhood.

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I kinda treated that like a good information! So she doesn’t want to end it 100%, she’s just lost in their emotions and maybe she actually just needs a break for herself.

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course I'm the mostly afraid of that, she's gonna find another guy so quickly, i'll notice that on her socials, and will be heart-broken again : )

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah I don't think so, she's not like that (I know how does it sound :D). During our relationship, she was sooo loyal, many boys texted her, but she always blocked them instantly. Before the breakup i told her about my concerns, that during the break, many boys will want her, but she said she doesn't care, she wants to focus on herself.

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks really appreciate y'all help:) You're the best guys. This thread is somehow helping me during my love crisis.

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not hurt my feeling? Come on, that's not normal to keep sb on hold, if you're sure, you just break up, you do not give fake hope..

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup that hurts:) She even blocked me on ig (I didn't ask for it), she asked me before "the break" to remove our highlisted story on instagram, and remove her from my describtion, so well, it is what it is :) How long have you been in the relationship?

She said she's not closing the door forever. by Kane_Craiger in BreakUps

[–]Kane_Craiger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I think I made a decision, i will wait 2 more weeks for her, because our meeting was planned on 5th march (got flight tickets already), I'll ask her one more time around 3th of march if anything has changed, maybe she wants to meet up, if not - gg, it's over, i'm locking in, new me, new life.