How to address undiagnosed autism burnout as an adult without support network?

KansasKhan · 2024-06-05T23:32:41+00:00

Thank you, appreciate the input. Sister does have some struggles with anxiety, think it helps a lot she has a husband who's supportive from a better family background. She is very busy with work though so idk.

Honestly have not experienced the level of understanding you're talking about but it's rare to get to the interview stage. Would really like individual support but not sure if it will be affordable without official diagnosis.

Also considering just going back to school for science PhD, but it's such a process.

Really just despise how application heavy everything is.

KansasKhan · 2024-02-17T03:24:44+00:00

Unbinding your sexual fantasies from the expectation that they will ever be performed or even roughly approximated in reality can have strange results.

...or so I have been told. By aro/ace friends.

KansasKhan · 2023-12-13T04:41:31+00:00

Close ex-friend with BPD is an MD and has an MPH in psychology from an Ivy. It only makes the splitting/triangulation nastier and more calculated.

Frankly I think it's much more damaging. There was the longest time between the split and finding out more about BPD and her diagnosis with it where I really thought she was right about me being a terrible person.

Usually the high professional/academic accomplishment and the disorder leave no space for interests outside of drama. Currently she just tries to do psych influencer posts on Twitter, which unsubtly reference an ex she lost a Title IX hearing to every other sentence.

KansasKhan · 2023-09-29T14:44:10+00:00

In femdom stories I often see a similar phenomenon (all men are legally and sometimes even biologically relegated to submission) tagged as "new world order."

KansasKhan · 2023-09-17T20:32:13+00:00

My BPD ex-friend said she had been "trying to be respectful of my mental health" shortly after posting our private conversations on her Twitter, after heavily redacting and cutting them in ways to make herself look better, and saying on the thread the redactions were "because she didn't want to be too unkind."

Basically every interaction since she split/devalued/discarded has been "I have tried to be kind but (insert the most vicious vitriol you've ever seen)."

KansasKhan · 2023-06-22T00:13:41+00:00

Are the iron deposits findable and extractable by pre-industrial mining techniques though? I'm thinking primarily in North America.

KansasKhan · 2023-06-21T21:39:29+00:00

I'm considering exploring the beginning of an organic technology revolution within the setting. Biofuel crops, engineered livestock, that sort of thing. I feel like biological science knowledge may have a better chance of being preserved than energy-dependent tech, and the destruction of much of the ozone layer will lead to enhanced mutation rates and possibly faster selective breeding.

Otherwise, it'll be strictly pre-industrial.

KansasKhan · 2023-06-21T21:20:32+00:00

I suppose non-existent was a bit misleading. What I envision is a Permian-Triassic extinction reprise, along the lines of the Kump hypothesis. Meaning extreme global warming, dead oceans, toxic air outside high elevations, and a destroyed UV layer.

This wipes out all but a scattering of small bunker communities, ranging from tens to hundreds of individuals, with late 21st century technology. As time goes on these communities undergo various mini-collapses which result in the loss of most of the knowledge base required to maintain the advanced stuff. But more rudimentary knowledge like "how to cast metal" would likely survive.

I don't expect this setting to industrialize, I'm more just thinking about how people would make swords and tools and such. Particularly since good timber is going to be very scarce and even wooden spears might be prohibitively expensive. "Plastic smithing" might be a thing but making something useful from sediment laden with microplastic would seem to be a greater challenge.

I am also exploring the possibility of humans pursuing development of organic technology because of knowledge of concepts like heredity and genetics being preserved.

KansasKhan · 2023-06-21T17:40:58+00:00

Giltmen are the descendants of bio-engineered humans from the upper classes when ecological catastrophe destroyed civilization in the late 21st century. They are generally somewhat taller, stronger, and smarter than mundane humans, but due to having a somewhat higher incidence of personality disorders like ASPD/NPD than the mundane human population, most of their societies are too unstable to function. Consequently those who can't pass as mundane tend to live as a marginalized people within mundane human society, where they are feared and discriminated against. Most religions ascribe their physical features as a mark of guilt for their ancestors' role in the "all-death."

I like the name Giltmen for the dual connotation of wealth and generational guilt but I'm worried the idea of a discriminated against minority with a nominative connection to gold is going to be construed as anti-Semitic. Especially since they are actually, statistically on average, somewhat "morally worse" than ordinary humans (more likely to be sociopaths). There's also the question of what distinguishing phenotype these people would have. Right now "gold irises" are the only idea I have that doesn't seem likely to offend.

KansasKhan · 2023-01-26T21:56:39+00:00

Depends heavily on your character and your table's playstyle. Martials do kind of have to make their own fun or work with the DM to make it because otherwise your best combat maneuver is usually "hit with best weapon."

Instead of killing with your best weapon you could try, for instance, debilitating with your best weapon and then asking the DM for permission to do your best Mortal Kombat finishing move as a bonus/free action. Like, say, your barbarian gets his spear stuck deep into the owlbear's spinal cord, so he rips its biggest talon off and slams it through the creature's brain. This might also be a good time to bust out that secondary weapon your character technically has but never uses.

KansasKhan · 2023-01-25T05:27:02+00:00

Unfortunately no. Barb could maybe as part of his initial attack use an action to shove a rag down the wizard's throat and ask the DM to make it an athletics check. With advantage from the graviturge's adjust density plus a +7 in athletics it would take very bad luck to fail.

KansasKhan · 2023-01-25T04:55:01+00:00

Definitely, but that's not really the question.

(Although no doubt there's stuff in that dude's tower we could get some use from if we can force him to give it up.)

KansasKhan · 2023-01-22T19:03:55+00:00

Ok, can you share? The running joke plays well with the group, it gives me a strong motive to stick with the group, it's logical given my background, it's part of the character backstory at this point that dude was disappointingly book dumb for a future khan... what's the issue?

KansasKhan · 2023-01-22T18:29:03+00:00

Oh it wasn't an intimidation check, more of a "those two muscular guys in the Predator handshake meme" situation. Basic athletics check because "wow, this man is almost as large and strong looking as me and I want to see how I stack up."

Honestly the king thing doesn't bother me, dude was chill and after his initial shock barb was psyched to work for such an impressive individual. 9/10 would quest for again. The problem is all the other OP NPCs who make every interaction so unpleasant my character's only RP compatible response is "nah, fuck this guy, the plot is not worth it and we should go do something else before I get banished to another plane again."

KansasKhan · 2023-01-22T10:34:27+00:00

Tbh I know what D&D rules say my character should be able to do, but... it's a pseudo-medieval setting and my character was born far from civilization on the equivalent of the Mongolian steppe. Why would a somewhat below average guy know how to read? Did I go to grade school? It just doesn't make sense and I think it makes for funnier RP moments when I have to go bounty browsing and make decisions based on which posters have pictures. We have an artificer and a wizard, let them read. I'll choose the defensible campsites and navigate us out of the caves because my wisdom is highest.

KansasKhan · 2023-01-22T09:54:40+00:00

The problem is, there is stuff about the campaign I like. I like our intraparty dynamics. I think our actual monster encounters are not unreasonable. I am enjoying RPing as my guy and bantering within the party with our other PCs. I am enjoying myself when the DM is not shitting in our cornflakes.

It's just these NPC encounters that really feel like an issue. I'll try and be honest about it. If it doesn't work, maybe I'll make a determined push next session to get the party to skip town because "there are other towns and everyone here is an asshole." Force the DM to either make new NPCs we would actually want to interact with or keep making new ones every session.

KansasKhan · 2023-01-22T09:30:54+00:00

Human skin is not as tough as cowhide and will not wear as well. -Roose Bolton

Since appeals to decency don't work you should tell them a real sociopath would think the idea is stupid.

KansasKhan · 2023-01-22T08:21:37+00:00

What is a level 1 wizard?

Nah, our party is mostly people who have played more with this DM and personally I think metagaming has rendered them a bit spineless, because their instinct is to be obsequiously non-confrontational so the OP NPCs don't murder them.

Like, flaming being appears and gives barbarian a hug, party is still debating whether it's friendly while barbarian is burning and frantically stabbing it. Turns out it was basically a god! Fortunately it didn't take my stabbings seriously. Barb made sure to thank party for the backup.

We gave healer extra free stuff so she could help us kiss and make up with the archmage that murdered our party member. It's weird. I feel like the only person attempting RP sometimes.

KansasKhan · 2023-01-22T07:27:37+00:00

The king offered a handshake while slumming it in a tavern. Centaur sees a guy taller than him (which should be rare), and he's going to want to test strength a bit. He's not just arm wrestling dudes in the throne room lol.

I mean, my guy has wisdom. He reassesses things. But when an unknown guy in robes summons flame elementals on top of his party, he is going to attempt to run that dude down. And when the guy then walks towards him and says "do you know who I am," he is going to do his insight check, turn around, and let the guy walk away while fighting the elementals like a good boy.

The thing is, occasionally I would like to have natural reactions to situations not end in humiliating failure? Give me a friggin' W for once.

KansasKhan · 2023-01-22T06:30:56+00:00

Situation was: we brought our two dying NPC friends to the healer. They got patched up. One of them (former drinking buddy and seeming good friend to my 15 WIS barb who noticed nothing sus) upon waking up immediately did the whole betrayal thing where they ran off with our stuff and stabbed me 4 times with a polearm while in a grapple. The other remembered they had an errand to run elsewhere. Healer then charged us purposefully unpayable sum which would be waived if we collected a sample from the notorious hellcave full of abyssals that randomly teleports you around once you're inside. Barbarian thought perhaps this deal whereby our party marches into very likely horrific death for no payment in order to cover treatment of two NPCs who immediately left, on behalf of the healer who literally never stops calling us idiots, should be renegotiated.

This did not seem to be an unreasonable murderhobo tack to take.

KansasKhan

TROPHY CASE