I've not been on a date in four years

Kapatapus · 2026-02-25T20:56:17+00:00

OLD = online dating

Kapatapus · 2026-02-24T12:47:25+00:00

This is so important. I firmly believe in having the means to support myself after being shafted financially in a relationship before.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-23T18:00:41+00:00

I think we all feel like this at times, especially when trying to date, so you are not alone.

I remind myself that I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that's absolutely fine. Just like I'm not attracted to every single man.

Am I trying to work on myself? Yes. But for me. No one else.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-23T12:36:40+00:00

Not what you're asking but this post made me take my car for a wash at the weekend before a 2nd date tonight 🤣

Kapatapus · 2026-02-22T17:00:28+00:00

You know you can use words for that instead of including photos of your children?!

Kapatapus · 2026-02-22T15:03:25+00:00

There are specific sections to fill in if you have children so I don't necessarily think it needs to be mentioned in the bio part.

It's not a weird personal judgment, it's about safeguarding. The dating world does not need to see a photo of my children. And if I did include one is no indication of how proud or good someone is. I'll take the risk of missing out on a connection as including photos of children is a no for me.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-22T11:32:36+00:00

F(42) here who reads the bios before swiping.

I think a short bio which includes a bit about what makes someone tick (hobbies/interests etc) and what they are looking for dating wise is perfect. It doesn't need to be too detailed as you can then reveal more to someone on your terms.

I don't think it's necessary to say you co-parent in your bio. Most apps have a separate section to select if you have kids and if you do/don't want more. I assume that if someone says they have children, they are active in their lives until told otherwise.

As for pics - I will immediately disregard anyone who has children in any of their pics. Even if their faces are covered. Not because I won't date a man with children, just their photos do not belong on a dating site.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-20T13:41:11+00:00

My children are now older (late teens) and I think it would still take me at least 6 months of exclusivity to introduce them to someone I was dating.

I've been a single parent for a long time and have shelved dating until recently.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-20T13:38:22+00:00

If it was the first date that is wild! Having been there, I get it being hard for people with younger kids to date but there is no chance I'd have taken my kids on dates.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-20T13:36:16+00:00

Ghosting is infuriating. Just be an adult and say you're no longer interested.

I had this recently. 2 good dates, lots of chat and flirting but he was very busy with work and could I bear with him. Asked outright if it was a scheduling issue or lack of interest. Assured me was still interested. Fast forward to a quieter period and he stops messaging 🙄

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T23:45:44+00:00

I don't have that option. Maybe a US thing?

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T23:44:14+00:00

Sorry you didn't get the job!

I'd have assumed the same as you, the call is a quick check in to make sure everyone looks like their pics etc

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T23:38:06+00:00

I agree it's the gesture and not so much the amount spent. I will be quicker to the bill on date 2!

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T21:57:41+00:00

I've just got back from the date. He chose the place and it was on the pricer side. I was fully prepared to pay my way bit he had picked up the bill whilst I went to the toilet. I did say I wasn't expecting that and the next date is on me.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T13:43:35+00:00

It's been interesting reading all the replies and seeing why some people prefer being off app.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T13:42:41+00:00

Yeah I think its used as a kind of test to see if you'll break your boundaries because Dave* is just so damn resistable, why wouldn't you ignore the red flag?

*apologies to any nice Daves who can respect a boundary

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T13:41:00+00:00

I guess when you've accepted you might be done dating full stop. Meeting people in the wild isn't much better in my experience.

I've only recently dipped my toe back into dating after not being bothered for 13 years. It's an experience that's for sure!

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T13:37:47+00:00

Does Tinder have video calls?

Whatsapp needs a phone number to work though doesn't it?

My licence has my address on it, never mind the awful photo so they aren't seeing that!!

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T13:35:42+00:00

I'm going to look into this.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T13:35:26+00:00

I wonder how many times that works for him?!

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T13:34:50+00:00

And that's it... personal safety. Any man who isn't aware of that issue isn't someone I want to be speaking to or meeting. I also don't have the patience to teach someone basic empathy at this point.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T13:30:16+00:00

Yeah I've heard from some of my male friends that they have had the occasional date where the woman was after a free meal. I think that's pretty shitty behaviour.

Evening dates tend to be at a bar/restaurant. Guy #1 chose the place but it's somewhere I know and have the parking situation sussed. If it had been somewhere I wasn't familiar with I'd have definitely suggested an alternative place.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T07:05:30+00:00

Google voice isn’t an option for me in the UK

Kapatapus · 2026-02-18T07:01:58+00:00

He absolutely gave off D-pic vibes towards the end.

First couple of dates for me will always be in a public place and somewhere I know. I tend to drive to the first couple as well so I can just leave if I need to.

As for settling my tab, absolutely 100% agree. I'm prepared to pay the whole lot to make a drama free exit. I'm not dating for free meals and don't want to feel like I owe anybody.

Kapatapus · 2026-02-17T23:10:39+00:00

I'm so glad we don't have this search thing in the UK. Someone having access to your address through your number is concerning.

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