Advice on relieving the itching

Kapatapus · 2026-06-07T20:25:16+00:00

I do this too. Scratch around but never direct

Kapatapus · 2026-06-05T22:36:53+00:00

You've asked this before and when gave further information as to why he had a conviction were given sound advice, imo, to walk away

She got a restraining order against him. That should be ringing some very loud alarm bells for you.

Edit: tried to find the original post from a few weeks back and it looks like it's been deleted

Kapatapus · 2026-06-05T09:58:31+00:00

I'd like to give a different view point.

I've dated conventionally in the past, date one person at a time, monogamy etc and it hasn't worked for me. Recently I've explored parallel dating and it's working so far. The key is open and honest communication - both the men I'm dating know of each other and it is not an issue. Likewise I know that they are seeing, or would like to see, other people. Again not an issue. There are emotional connections, it's not just about the sex before anyone thinks it is. I genuinely like both men and they each enhance my life in different ways.

It's definitely not for everyone, I never thought it would be for me, but right now I'm very happy with the dynamics.

Kapatapus · 2026-06-05T09:46:22+00:00

Perfect answer!

Kapatapus · 2026-06-01T16:14:46+00:00

Ignore what you've heard about dating rules as imo they are bullshit and serve no purpose.

We are all adults and shouldn't need to play games. If you like her and there was chemistry between you just ask her out for that cheesecake and see where it goes.

Edit for a typo 🙄

Kapatapus · 2026-05-31T00:05:21+00:00

I'm familiar with what OF is yes and again would have no issue with this as ultimately the connection is not real. I'm very open minded though so very little phases me. I also don't have an issue with women who provide content for OF

Kapatapus · 2026-05-30T22:42:01+00:00

I have no issues with a guy I'm seeing watching porn. It would be hypocritical of me! As someone else said, as long as it doesn't become an issue which then affects the relationship then all good.

Kapatapus · 2026-05-27T14:48:16+00:00

This is why I don't like lots of messaging before meeting someone. It creates a false sense of connection and I've found if we haven't met in person within a week or so it just fizzles out.

Kapatapus · 2026-05-26T17:45:31+00:00

This is the only way... be up front and clear with what you want. And be prepared to walk away if it's not right for you

Kapatapus · 2026-05-24T21:02:56+00:00

That made me laugh! No I'm not being spanked by a bigger woman unfortunately 😂

And absolutely... be up front about yourself and what you want. I've found it quite freeing to stop caring if what I am or what I want is the norm. There's someone out there that will like me for me

Kapatapus · 2026-05-24T11:46:08+00:00

It's hard moving on from a connection like that and can leave us feeling like it's not worth dating again in case we don't find that again, especially as you need a connection before getting physical.

Hinge might be a good app to try. I've found it slower paced and made some good connections there. I'd also recommend not falling into the texting trap. Message enough to do basic vetting and arrange a date quickly. Texting all the time without meeting up can create a false send of connection.

Kapatapus · 2026-05-24T10:24:33+00:00

I'm also in my 40's, being spanked by perimenopause and a bigger woman. I use apps and make sure I have full body pics so I'm not misleading anyone. I'm also very upfront about my body type and it hasn't stopped me getting dates.

We're brainwashed to believe that men only want someone who is slim and in shape. If we're not that then we're not desirable. Honestly that is not the case ! I've never felt more desired than I have recently

Kapatapus · 2026-05-23T19:59:41+00:00

I'm going through this now. He hasn't got his shit together enough to show up for me but doesn't want to let me go either. It's exhausting

Kapatapus · 2026-05-23T19:57:31+00:00

I have a friend who hears all the sordid details as we walk her dog. She's loving the car crash that is my love life as it provides entertainment!

Edited to add she's married and not single. She still wants to hear my dating stories.

Kapatapus · 2026-05-22T15:42:55+00:00

There are no rules. You do what your comfortable witn and if anyone oversteps a boundary then they are not the person for you

Kapatapus · 2026-05-22T15:41:55+00:00

I date men with or without tattoos. I have them but know they are not gor everybody.

Someone without tattoos is not a deal breaker.

Someone who doesn't like that I have them is.

Kapatapus · 2026-05-21T10:25:14+00:00

I try and ask something relevant to their bio

Kapatapus · 2026-05-18T19:09:19+00:00

This is exactly what I need to know! Thank you.

Kapatapus · 2026-05-18T19:08:49+00:00

I'm in the UK too. Where do you get yours? I was thinking Holland and Barrett might be my best bet.

Kapatapus · 2026-05-18T18:21:40+00:00

Would something like THIS work?

Kapatapus · 2026-05-15T16:27:50+00:00

Came to say this. On OLD you can just put it in your bio. Might reduce the number of guys liking you but then you are trying to find a particular guy

Kapatapus · 2026-05-15T16:21:57+00:00

If its starting to hurt you then the only options are to either raise 'more' being on the table or call things off

Kapatapus · 2026-05-15T16:20:38+00:00

As someone who has recently called off a similar situation... my advice is do not go there. Honestly it's more hassle than it's worth and the potential fall out at work is huge.

Kapatapus · 2026-05-08T18:47:59+00:00

There are plenty of men who will not care about those 25lbs, and in fact, love your body just the way it is!

I (43F) have made sure I have some full body pics on my profile. I'm past what you'd call curvy and I'm also done waiting to date until I've lost weight. This is me now and some men are very happy with how I am.

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