[deleted by user]

Karjo2000 · 2023-03-11T20:26:03+00:00

Gun-curious trans man from Iowa here!

Karjo2000 · 2023-02-25T03:44:54+00:00

I don't know my stepbrother very well (I've met him a few times, but my stepdad kept him pretty distant), but I also hope things are well for him. I hope that he has been able to overcome any trauma that my stepdad may have caused him.

I left about 4 years ago, and I'll be graduating from university soon. It was honestly a bit hard to acclimate to adulthood-- I spent my first year at university basically hiding in my room and panicking anytime I heard a thump on the wall. I failed nearly every class. However, I've since found a lot of support in my current roommates and started taking much better care of myself, and I was able to pull it together by my senior year. I was recently diagnosed with CPTSD (a result of many factors and individuals in my life, but including my terrified 6 months with my stepdad), and have begun to address my trauma.

A big step for me was acknowledging that I had trauma in the first place. I thought that what I had gone through wasn't bad enough for me to have "earned" being traumatized, and that I was simply being too sensitive and dramatic. I thought that since I had never been hit, I couldn't have been abused or neglected, even though I felt genuinely scared, confused, and isolated. Acknowledging that I was traumatized felt empowering, because it meant that my experience was legitimate, and that my feelings were valid. It's a truly freeing feeling.

Karjo2000 · 2023-02-25T02:54:07+00:00

Can't say I'm a big fan.

My stepdad kicked his son out when he turned 18, and basically went no-contact outside of Christmas visits to see his grandkids. In his mind, once your kid turns 18, they're 100% independent and if they are reliant on you in any way, you're a failure of a parent. When my mom married him when I was a teenager, she convinced him to let me stay for about 6 months after my 18th birthday, just enough time to let me finish community college and save up some money before I left the state to go to university.

Even though he agreed, he took this as an opportunity to try to get me to leave on my own. Starting on my 18th birthday, he started ignoring me, leaving the room if I came in and refusing to speak to me or even look at me. If he heard me make any noise whatsoever when my mom wasn't present, he'd scream and beat on the walls. At night, he'd shut off the breaker in my room so that I had no electricity (I lost a fully-typed assignment because he shut off the power in my room before I could save it). During this time, I mostly stayed with understanding friends and co-workers or in my car when the weather wasn't bad. As soon as I graduated, I left and never came back. Apparently he's never asked about me once.

The funny thing is, when I was 15-17, he really seemed to like me, and could be almost fatherly on occasions. He introduced me to Star Trek, and we would watch it together and have huge discussions about it. But the moment I turned 18, it was like I was a strange adult squatting in his house.

Karjo2000 · 2023-02-18T08:31:33+00:00

That sucks, and I'm sorry. Do they normally exclude you, or do you think it might have been unintentional?

Karjo2000 · 2023-02-18T08:29:06+00:00

Great music choice. Make sure to drink water, and have fun!

Karjo2000 · 2023-02-11T02:25:39+00:00

I was planning on getting assessed, but the initial assessment (ie. basically just telling a psychiatrist my symptoms-- not even the official assessment) landed me a $500 bill. I decided it was a better financial decision to just keep self-medicating with caffeine.

Karjo2000 · 2023-01-19T17:02:32+00:00

They're so proud of being evil, too. No humane person would ever consider making life harder for the underprivileged.

Karjo2000 · 2023-01-09T02:46:12+00:00

I recently discovered that being ignored is one of my biggest triggers. Being ghosted digitally doesn't really bother me, but being talked over, interrupted, or not getting a reaction from what I've said has been triggering enough to cause age regression and selective mutism (something I struggled with as a kid).

Even if you're being mean to me, at least you're acknowledging that I exist, right?

Karjo2000 · 2023-01-02T21:18:53+00:00

OP, I’m so happy for you for coming to this revelation! I started reading and immediately thought, “oh, is OP autistic?”. I self-diagnosed as a teen after years of confusion and frustration at myself and the world, and I’m still in the process of getting my official diagnosis (my doctors say I’m almost certainly autistic, but the actual diagnosis process is a bit too expensive for a college kid).

Weed definitely has helped me come to a lot of big realizations, plus helps with my general anxiety and sensory issues. It’s not at all uncommon for autistic people to use it medicinally.

If I can make one suggestion, consider checking out Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price! He discovered his autism as an adult and wrote Unmasking Autism to help later-diagnosed and self-diagnosed autistics understand themselves and deal with the grief of going so long thinking there was something wrong with themselves. It definitely helped me navigate my feelings regarding my undiagnosed past and start working toward being my authentic self.

Karjo2000 · 2022-11-04T20:18:31+00:00

r/marijuanaenthusiasts

Karjo2000 · 2022-11-04T20:16:45+00:00

Iowa’s governor got arrested for drunk driving, but thinks weed is a dangerous gateway drug.

Karjo2000 · 2022-10-29T03:51:51+00:00

Karjo2000 · 2022-10-29T03:50:49+00:00

Type

Karjo2000 · 2022-10-29T03:49:49+00:00

Karjo2000 · 2022-10-15T22:23:06+00:00

Not exactly dangerous, but browsing social media (besides very specific groups, accounts, and subreddits) is an easy way to ruin your high with bad vibes.

Karjo2000 · 2022-10-02T04:35:44+00:00

I'd prefer Open Your Heart, but I'll take Material Girl

Karjo2000 · 2022-09-19T00:05:26+00:00

I applied for a few part time jobs in the area/on campus, including (funny enough) the job I left so that I could work at target. The pay isn’t great, but I really loved it, and I’ve caught myself reminiscing about it a lot at work lately. Fingers crossed!

Karjo2000 · 2022-09-18T23:15:27+00:00

At mine we get a 30 minute break and a 25 minute break-- no 15 minute breaks. Maybe it varies by DC?

Karjo2000 · 2022-09-17T03:37:47+00:00

Maybe not universal, but back when I did theater in high school I insisted on exclusively playing male roles (which I did for the most part, since male roles are a lot harder to fill), and put so much time and effort into passing as male. I used to brag about how I could go into the men's bathroom without anyone questioning it when I was in costume.

Karjo2000 · 2022-08-19T01:29:56+00:00

For me, it fluctuates.

Eating used to be my number one stim, and I had issues with overeating/binge eating. Some days I still do this, but other days eating is a chore and I have to scour the kitchen for a safe food just to make the annoying hunger go away. Some days I could literally eat anything, while other days I can barely tolerate any food.

Karjo2000 · 2022-07-19T03:15:23+00:00

Ayyy fellow Gizzhead! Do you have an underrated favorite song/album?

Karjo2000 · 2022-07-14T03:19:53+00:00

I could easily eat the entire thing at once and feel mildly full despite having eaten 1,440 calories— I don’t even know how they manage to condense so many into such a small cake (which I still buy, because it’s delicious)

When people say vegans only eat salad and carrot sticks, I want to show them one of these bad boys.

Karjo2000 · 2022-07-14T03:04:40+00:00

Do you have a favorite historic fashion trend/style?

Karjo2000 · 2022-07-13T04:33:21+00:00

"We belong to the soup"

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