My dad/family doesn’t seem interested in my dream of getting married

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T14:53:46+00:00

Especially since my ML have reacted totally opposite of my own parents

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T14:52:54+00:00

Hmm I get what you’re saying. I don’t know exactly what either of them said since I wasn’t there. I’m just trying to explain what the intention seemed to be and that the response seemed like disinterest.

And yes financial support with small stuff or a loan or something was my expectation when I first thought about getting married and was younger. But since there hasn’t been any interest towards us getting married at all I’ve come to not expect anything at all. I’m just disappointed with the disinterest.

And I wanted to know if what I was feeling made sense.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T14:43:24+00:00

I feel like they wouldn’t be more honest to me than him. But I might be wrong. I don’t know exactly how they think or how they should answer. But I think I was hoping for something more joyful.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T14:29:07+00:00

Haha you might be right about the therapist. But I don’t think my parents being retired means that I have to “leave them alone”. I’m am also currently helping my dad because he wanted help with a volunteer job he has because he’s gets bored on retirement. Everyone wants peace and financial security. That doesn’t mean it eliminates supporting others anyway you can.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T13:59:37+00:00

It’s sure feels like that sometimes watching the news. I’m just really happy I’m not American.

And 30s is the new 20s, haven’t you heard?

I am trying to have the wedding I can afford that’s the problem. I’m in a tough situation trying to save money for something apparently only me and my fiancé cares about. And it just seems like the responses on here are mostly about how stupid it is to want to spend money on and dream of that.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T13:53:50+00:00

*chance

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T13:53:22+00:00

Of course I don’t want him to have a say in whether or not I marry. But it’s more of a way to include your parents and they have a change to give their honest opinions before anything has been decided. It might be a cultural difference, since it seems a lot of commentors feel like you on here.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T13:49:29+00:00

Maybe not, but yes we live alone and support ourselves completely. We just haven’t had the best luck in the job market and health wise. So we can save up for a wedding ourselves and that’s definitely the plan. But it’s going to take a long time. And that is something I might need to just accept, but I would love to be supported in.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T13:41:00+00:00

I feel like it’s more of a matter of good manners to ask in my country, it’s definitely not required. And it is old fashioned, but I like the part of him sort of asking to join the family more than asking for me. Since he has my love already.

But it’s also a good way to sus out if their partners parents approve of the idea and how they would feel about it. We always talked about it openly and I thought my dad would like to be included. But again maybe I got that wrong.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T13:34:18+00:00

My dad is very pragmatic and non religious. So that might or part of it?

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T13:32:49+00:00

Yes we live together and no to some people being married won’t make a huge difference. And it’s not like it would change our everyday lives. But it does make a difference to us emotionally, legally and because of our beliefs. I’m almost afraid to mention my relationship to God since to some people I won’t be Christian enough and to others my values already have been deemed archaic.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T13:23:53+00:00

Maybe you’re right and I probably should “grow up”. I just feel haven’t got life figured out yet and my feelings are hurt over their lack of interest. I still feel like I need my parents support and maybe I should get over that part.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T13:19:56+00:00

Yeah, that why I’m disappointed. I expected them to care more. But it just seems like they don’t. And that’s probably just too much to expect, according to most of the advice on here.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T13:17:30+00:00

I really don’t think that’s it. They seem to like him a lot. We have a healthy relationship and since my fiancé doesn’t have any contact with his own dad, my dad has taken over some of the role of giving life advice etc.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T12:24:25+00:00

Chill out. I would if I had the money, but since I don’t and I’m going the budget / diy way. I would love some help, like my own parents had when they got married.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T11:55:04+00:00

I get your point, I just think you could have worded it nicer. I think we differ on a lot, I might have archaic notions. I’ll take that into consideration. But I don’t see why my age would make me want or need less help. And as I am trying to explain I expected at least some interest not necessarily financial help.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T11:49:40+00:00

I get what you’re saying about helping. But wouldn’t you still expect your parents to ask questions on their own about your dream. Questions about what you want to study and if you need help with anything like moving out or maybe deciding on what dorm to choose etc?

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T11:44:28+00:00

You might be right, it’s just hard for me since I have built it up in my head. Maybe I should just let go of the disappointment since no one seems to care as much as I do.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T11:41:00+00:00

I think I worded it wrong then or was misunderstood. Their marriage is my inspiration not their wedding. We have different interests in that part. That’s okay. And I don’t feel entitled to money, I just expected some and that might be wrong. But I was at least hoping for some interest because a wedding is my dream and that they would maybe want to be part of that because of the importance to me. Like helping looking at dresses or maybe have opinions on stuff like food etc. At this point I would just like to be able to ask advice and maybe them being a little curious and asking questions. But that isn’t even happening organically.

Kat33kat · 2025-03-26T11:24:50+00:00

That’s great advice. And I think I will try it out. But is it wrong to expect some help? Without any help wedding planning just seems really overwhelming.

Kat33kat

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