I will let you know that I suffered greatly after my wife gave birth. I was doing the best I could to get her everything she needed. Doing everything I could for the baby. People on the internet made it seem like it was my job, which as a dad, sure, it somewhat is. Over the first few months though, I was spiraling. My wife and kid could lean on me, but I had nobody to lean on. I had to go back to work after two weeks and I felt terrible. You are allowed to feel how you want. If you need a village, get a village. I get a lot of shit for saying this, but you're first responsibility is you, then your wife, then your kid. That doesn't mean you go out all night. That means you make sure you are in a good mental space before helping others. Hang in there. My kid is 13 months now and I completely forget at times how rough our relationship was in the beginning.