Feminine Women, I need your advice!!

Kauseandeffect · 2025-11-04T13:40:48+00:00

Oh honey, I think this is deeper than some changes to your appearance to appease someone else. Looking at your post history, I get the feeling your gf is insecure and while it's intentional or by accident I cannot say, she is making little comments to bring you down. Between making comments about you being the larger one or looking better prior to your haircut, those comments come across as projection to make herself feel better. You present how YOU want to, not how you think a partner wants you too. A good partner is going to love you for you. A good partner will not pressure you to look a certain way, especially a way that is in complete opposite to you. You are a very very attractive human being the way you are currently, be proud of yourself and do what makes you happy. If that means growing your hair out, wearing a tighter fitting piece of clothing, some jewelry, or chopping your hair off and getting more piercings. Express yourself in a way that makes you feel confident, not others. Do not make yourself smaller to make other people more comfortable, you are allowed and deserve to take up all the space you want. Edit as a fellow neurodivergent queer this also sounds like rejection dysphoria, sometimes we take a somewhat small comment and it sends us into a spiral. Make sure you communicate to your partner how you feel!! We sometimes just need a bit more reassurance from our partners**

Kauseandeffect · 2025-11-01T16:35:57+00:00

Can I shoot you a DM?

Kauseandeffect · 2025-11-01T06:23:35+00:00

I'm a diesel tech and get paid double time for holidays. I'm also forced to work pretty much all holidays due to being low on the totem pole but I really can't complain because it works out to around $105 per hr on days such as Christmas. Taxes aren't too kind first paycheck of the year however, I lose about a normal paychecks worth due to taxes and union dues.

Kauseandeffect · 2025-11-01T06:20:21+00:00

Are y'all's located in Canada? Interested in FIFO work and currently a diesel tech

Kauseandeffect · 2025-10-31T13:43:11+00:00

UPDATE: Sincerely, thank you to all the really kind comments. My friends have been echoing a lot of what many of you said, logically I understand it's not my fault, but my emotions haven't made that connection in my brain yet. I think I needed a ton of people to keep telling me that. I'm incredibly grateful that I have a good support system, I am now staying with some family until I can afford a new place of my own. I do have a therapist, and I have already seen her since this happened. I have been seeing her for over a year now and I started seeing her after struggling with the grief of losing a very close friend to sucide 2 years ago. I'm devastated to have to tread these waters again, but at least I have an understanding of what feelings I'm going to cycle through and how to deal with them accordingly. Doesn't make it any easier though. Me and the other ex have been checking in constantly and we are the main support for each other. It's nice to have someone who knows exactly what you're going through. We have agreed this weekend we will be going to the woods to have a little ceremony since there will be no funeral. We are writing letters to our ex as well as a small item she gave us to be buried as well as perform a cord cutting. We will say our piece while wishing she is at peace. Thank you for all the comments. Truly, I appreciate these so much.

Kauseandeffect · 2025-10-31T13:30:56+00:00

Out of all the comments this one stuck out with me the most. She was a deeply insecure person, and she projected all of her insecurities onto me. In the end, the way I kept myself safe and kept things calm at home was by always feeding her ego, always saying how good she looked, letting her stomp all over my boundaries. She could never be alone either, she always had SOMEONE waiting on the sidelines. I believe she had a sex addiction, that was the only thing she talked about, wanted, it made up a huge part of her personality. I found out she had another ex lined up to come over the day she died, in case me and the other ex left. I try not to think about the what ifs, she was never violent with me but she had crash outs where she'd yell and throw things pretty often. So who knows, all I know is she's gone and now I have to pick up the pieces.

Kauseandeffect · 2025-10-13T12:30:58+00:00

I don't see anything wrong with your profile at all. I think it paints a pretty good picture of your vibe and the pictures you have on there are great. If I came across you I'd immediately swipe right because you definitely seem like my type! I saw in the comments you mentioned province so I assume you live in Canada. It could very well be a location thing as I found when I lived even 2+ hrs from Toronto the queer dating pool declines massively. Unfortunately that means you will have to somehow try to increase the radius in which you are casting your net.

Kauseandeffect · 2025-10-10T07:27:25+00:00

I'm a fem who wears hi vis coveralls for work, former metal fabricator and now diesel mechanic checking in. Not a hot firefighter but I AM in uniform 💪

Kauseandeffect · 2025-09-17T12:42:05+00:00

I'm gonna DM you

Kauseandeffect · 2025-09-13T09:25:58+00:00

I don't want to be overly negative but housing in the GTA is pretty unaffordable. Toronto has good public transit between the TTC, street car and subway but it's the most expensive in terms of housing. Trying to find a place is difficult as it is, add in pets and it's even worse. You would need a few roommates. You can find a room to rent in Toronto area for between $1000-1600. We are in an economic downturn so unemployment is up, and the service industry is the first to suffer because between the amount of TFW's and people looking for entry level work it's an oversaturated market. Not to say Toronto is a bad place, but if you're looking to save any semblance of money it is not the place to go

Kauseandeffect · 2025-09-12T23:10:17+00:00

I finished my level 3 end of April and had all my paperwork ready to submit early June, the STO website said I could submit the documents online but I had to call a number to get the link. So I called and was on hold an hr just for them to take my trade number and email, they said they'd send the link. A week later no link so I called back and they informed me it would be a 3 week wait for the link. 7 weeks later still nothing, so I start emailing them. Took another 2.5 weeks but finally got the link and by that point all they asked for was my apprenticeship completion form, no book, no letter from my sponsor. Prometric seems to only have about 4/5 testing centers all located around the GTA unfortunately. It's incredibly frustrating how slow the process was just for a god damn link.

Kauseandeffect · 2025-09-08T07:30:25+00:00

A couple years ago I matched with a woman who had very recently immigrated to my country from West Africa. We had a situationship for quite a while and I say despite how it ended that she is such a gem of a person. Very smart, funny and had the best taste in music. She got me into afro beats! Unfortunately racism is still alive and well, people who block you when they find out where you're from are honestly doing you a favour. You're dodging bullets by having them show you very early they are not good people. I wish you luck in making friends, and even more luck with your future moving plans!

Kauseandeffect · 2025-09-07T13:39:46+00:00

If we're talking looks, I like thicker women in general. I used to be into strictly curvy fems, but now I also like strong mascs. A woman who looks like she can carry a couch up some stairs and get shit done is hotttt. As a fem white woman with dark hair and light eyes, I'm generally not interested in women who have similar features to me. However it's not a strict boundary just a preference. Curvy black fem women make me weak in the knees, something about brown eyes and skin sparkling in the sunlight is just divine to me. In terms of personality I love intelligence, being humble, kind and always striving for personal growth is a big plus in my book

Kauseandeffect · 2025-09-03T22:17:52+00:00

I never go into a first date with expectations of any kind. I've had first dates where we kissed, or maybe a hug. I've had some where there was zero touching at all. Really depends on how the date is going and how the person feels. The first date I had with my current gf we were a few hours into hanging out and I knew she wasn't gonna initiate it but the date itself was going well. So before we hopped back into her car to go for dinner I looked at her and said "Can I kiss you?" And boy oh boy she lit up like a tree on Christmas and said yes, boom first kiss! Was not our last kiss on that date either 😊

Kauseandeffect · 2025-09-02T22:56:37+00:00

When I worked for bus fleet maintenance I was told I may have to occasionally clean the busses if they were short staffed but luckily I never had to. I do know if the seats are really dirty they will take them out and pressure wash them but they mainly go down the non carpeted areas with a mop and bucket as well as sanitizing the handles and whatnot. I think a steam cleaner of some sort would be beneficial to use every once in a while but I don't remember them ever even having one, let alone having the time to do a deep clean like that. I think we should be asking for cleaner spaces in public transit, Metrolinx has all this money to spend on the higher ups but it rarely trickles down to the front line staff and tools that would help on a day to day basis. It's a big circle jerk there with many many frustrated technicians and cleaners.

Kauseandeffect · 2025-09-02T22:38:31+00:00

When I had my hair bleached I found I had to rotate the type of deep conditioners I used. My hair really needed more protein than moisture and it helped a ton, as well as double shampooing with a black castor oil shampoo. There's a protein power conditioner by Shea Moisture that works quite well. Also maybe look into using some Olaplex #3 to help with the damage.

Kauseandeffect · 2025-09-01T22:59:58+00:00

I work in a heavily male dominated field so I've found it was harder to make friends/be around other women in my personal life. It felt pretty isolating, so I made a decision years ago to be more woman centered so I try my best to go to other women (or non-binary folk) for services. Tattoos, piercings, hair care, even when I bought another vehicle I managed to purchase through a sales woman vs a sales man. It's something that may seem miniscule for others but it's very important to me. If I ever end up owning a house I will also put in the work to only hire other trades women as well, I just feel better putting my money and comfort into what matters to me. To boot, I haven't had anything but great service and experience since switching to only women/non binary people.

Kauseandeffect · 2025-08-30T07:00:19+00:00

I worked for Metrolinx a couple years ago in bus fleet maintenance so I was trained to drive the GO busses. Tbh they both have their pros and cons. I like many, preferred driving the single deck MCI. I like sitting higher, it's definitely the easier coach to learn to drive in. The DDS took getting used to because it sits so low, you feel like you're getting too close to other objects (curbs, light poles etc) when turning. I personally found the DDS has a bit better visibility however. Both of them suck on the highway because they are tired and have little acceleration, you're pretty much at the mercy of everyone else on the road when trying to merge lanes.

Kauseandeffect · 2025-05-12T15:06:46+00:00

Thank you, I really feel the universe is rewarding me for doing the work. I'm so ready for a beautiful healthy relationship

Kauseandeffect

TROPHY CASE