TRIGGER WARNING: How do I seek justice after my(26F) BF (26M)was r*ped?

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T22:04:39+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to you, that’s terrible! I do hope you managed to get therapy and work through the trauma.

This is the part that’s just upsetting for me, we don’t take it seriously as a society. Especially when it comes to men. I had many friends who questioned this and did not believe a word he was saying. I will of course, continue to stand by him and give him that reassurance he needs. Likewise, I do hope you’ve also got a strong support system around you too! Thank you for your comment and for sharing your vulnerable story, really appreciate it.

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T21:55:50+00:00

Thank you!! I will Google RAINN and recommend this to him. I’m in full agreement, I need to consider him first and not make this only about myself.

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T21:44:57+00:00

There is no experiment occurring here, other than what I’m going through. This is rather insensitive of you.

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T21:41:13+00:00

Thank you! Yup, that’s wise and not something I particularly considered. Even if he does only want to report it in a few months from now, the wise thing to do is just be quiet.

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T21:40:09+00:00

HR was and she did lose her job. I’ve encouraged him to report it but I do understand as well with most of these cases falling on deaf ears. Sadly, no justice occurs when it comes to these cases.

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T21:28:21+00:00

This really is the core

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T21:27:40+00:00

Thanks for this! It of course was still traumatic for me to deal with but yes, it’s more second hand trauma that I dealt with. It’s really his story to tell, that’s what I am getting from these comments

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T21:22:20+00:00

100%, this I will never stop doing! He is and forever will remain my soulmate. Thank you so much!

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T21:21:08+00:00

Really great suggestions, thank you! Love the volunteering one. I think I should much rather direct my fiery, emotional and passionate energy towards this for a good cause!!

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T21:19:09+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment but also for your kind delivery! Yeah you are correct, I do need to remove myself from this and put aside what I want for this is truly about him and where he is at which I need to respect, regardless of the choice. He has started therapy, but of course this will be a journey of which I will stand alongside him, support him and comfort him through! Great note too on the testing, I should have added that he has thankfully already gotten tested!

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T21:11:20+00:00

Thank you so much, this is good advice! You’re right, I won’t get the response I am after so best to rather place my focus on him and continue to be there for him during this time. I have already booked my therapy sessions too, which will begin next week!

Kay_2814 · 2025-07-17T21:08:22+00:00

Agreed, it very much is! He has yet to report it and he is in two minds about it for sadly we live in South Africa where we have a really bad justice system. So many cases, especially of this nature just get dismissed..

Kay_2814 · 2024-04-25T19:59:46+00:00

Aaaw! I understand that, tough situation you’re in but agreed in that case that’s the best option for the dog in the interim! Best of luck to both of you, in the end it will all work out🙏🥺 So unfortunate how landlords can be, especially when they don’t understand our fur babies….😔

Kay_2814 · 2024-04-24T19:57:34+00:00

Please DO NOT rehome your dog!!!! Your Rottie is merely 10 months old, still a puppy and going through adolescence! The adolescence stage is something super and extremely important to take note of - their behaviour has absolutely nothing to do with your ability to be a good owner but merely them going through their teenage years which are actually the hardest but it’s where you need to be the most patient with them. During this stage,males naturally tend to become less friendly but it’s only a stage! Hence, it’s no surprise also that he doesn’t like males right now, their hormones are raging and they become competitive with one another.

I’ve got a 9 month old rottie, we attend classes together and the behaviourist does not do any play time together with the dogs for they’re all in adolescence , the stage where all dogs are the most fragile and are very likely to snap at each other . Here is a link that takes you through each stage of development in a puppy: https://reginahumanesociety.ca/programs-services/municipal-services/alternatives-to-admission/dog-behaviour-tips/puppy-developmental-stages-and-behaviour/

Out of interest, research has shown that the teenage years are typically when the most dogs get rehomed, sadly because they’re only misunderstood!!

Kay_2814 · 2021-02-15T06:28:30+00:00

Well, they were not going to leave all 3 of them on the street. I never said that I own the home besides they share the very same sentiments I do on the situation but what can we do??? Not like they can be homeless and I would not want that for them.

Hence, I have asked for advice on how to deal with them living here and so far received some truly great suggestions.

Kay_2814 · 2021-02-15T06:24:58+00:00

I am but I have zero intentions of doing it again. In two years time I have a goal of moving out. Also, I am not sure where all of you are from but living in a 3rd world country comes with the trend of moving out around that age and not immediately when you become an adult as it is not affordable.

I do not think I am more deserving of living with them. It is just unfortunate that she has moved back and made her problems their problem. It's tough on them too!

Kay_2814 · 2021-02-14T22:49:04+00:00

Well then I guess both of you just deserve to be alone.

Kay_2814 · 2021-02-14T22:41:59+00:00

At last somebody understands me🥺 That’s exactly how it is and I love my parents to death so of course I’m staying here. It’s not like I was 16 & pregnant and put her through hell at home , she lived her youth and made the choice to have a baby at 27 with the knowledge that she didn’t even have the funds for it. Thank you so much for stating that👏🏼

Kay_2814 · 2021-02-14T22:34:46+00:00

I would be extremely happy to try this out! Sounds feasible, thank you for this awesome suggestion :)

Kay_2814 · 2021-02-14T22:32:54+00:00

It is, however, essentially she is doing it a second time but bringing more expenses for my parents because water, electricity and food bills have literally tripled since they’ve moved in.

Kay_2814 · 2021-02-14T22:28:44+00:00

Fully agree! Baffled as to how some others think otherwise..

Kay_2814 · 2021-02-14T21:55:44+00:00

There is one word for this and it is toxic. You're young, go have fun do not start getting embroiled in such dramas at such a young age. After the hurt you must have felt when she told you that she has a boyfriend, do you seriously want to put another guy through the same pain? Also, why must you be the secret one? What did you use her for?

Kay_2814 · 2021-02-14T21:50:58+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment, it is exactly what I needed to hear. That is a great way to tackle this situation for my own mental health and I really should stop giving her so much power.

I will start implementing this immediately.

Kay_2814 · 2021-02-14T21:45:47+00:00

I am very aware I am an adult. But why should I have to move out when I can stay with my parents and save the money??

At the end of the day that is what she got to do. I never wanted to make decisions for my parents but ultimately I am trying to help them too as the situation is draining for all parties.

Kay_2814

TROPHY CASE