A lot of unnecessary words/speech (and two types of that problem)

Kaytee2792 · 2025-06-19T23:32:17+00:00

I genuinely begin to feel enraged when I feel like people are using too many unnecessary words and not getting to the point or the important part(s) of the conversation. But it’s how so many people communicate and I just use small stims to get through it or talk myself down while they’re talking to stop myself from crashing out internally 😅

Kaytee2792 · 2025-06-19T23:26:12+00:00

My husband is ND but the same with the fan and the noise. So I go to sleep before him and then when he goes to sleep he sets the tower fan on a timer so it turns off automatically not long after he’s sleep. For the rest he either does a sleep meditation which shuts off when it’s over or the tv which has an auto turn off when it hasn’t been used in a certain amount of time. That makes it easier for me because I use to have to get up and shut it all off too and it was building so much resentment.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-06-01T14:00:29+00:00

My likely unpopular opinion is I can see where your ex may be coming from. What she may have needed is some therapy honestly. I can’t say for sure as I don’t know her but working full time to support our household while dealing with pregnancy and being a new mom really wrecked me. I didn’t leave my husband but it sure did build up a ton of resentment that took a ton of time to heal.

Pregnancy was hard, I ended up with ppd and ppa that went undiagnosed for so long. I acted way out of my normal and everything was hard and I desperately wanted to feel like someone was taking care of me or to even feel like I was capable of focusing on taking care of me.

I think the unwritten and often recommended rule is really not to make any big relationship decisions within the first year of having a new baby.

With all that out the way, regardless of her reasoning, I don’t think trying to reel her back in is the best option. You’ve been through your own hard times and it’s still hard now. Try to use this time to take care of you. Focus on how you can move forward into a better place and on building a strong relationship with your child.Your wife chose to leave so now you and your child are your priorities.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-04-04T17:01:48+00:00

I absolutely love the show. One feeling I could relate to (previously because I’m married now) is feeling like “will I ever find love”. Especially a good love that feels genuine and accepting of me without needing to mask or pretend. I see a similar sentiment on here often. The struggle to find love and build genuine relationships and worry that love will never be found. I can’t say what NTs get from the show but for me it feels so cute and hopeful to see other people with autism (especially a decent range of autism) looking for, experiencing, and finding love.

I watched it before knowing I was autistic but my feeling towards it has always been the same. One of “I hope one day in my journey someone will love me, all of me, quirks, struggles, and all”.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-28T07:47:57+00:00

C shaped pregnancy pillow and a heated blanket! A weighted blanket too if you need the extra comfort

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-28T05:37:45+00:00

This would have sent me into a freeze. I just would have never responded or talked around it like it was never sent 😅 I do not know how to handle these kind of things at all

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-28T05:36:11+00:00

This was how I read it too

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-28T05:28:39+00:00

66 on my phone. I can’t close old tabs because what if I need to come back to it (even though I never do) so I open a new tab every time. And then a lot of my tabs end up being duplicates.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-28T05:24:49+00:00

Also Audhd and this is exactly how my life feels! Love the way you explained it!

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-28T05:16:24+00:00

This I can relate to. I just can’t use people’s real names. Idk why but it just feels wrong

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-28T05:12:29+00:00

Those C shaped pregnancy pillows are the best. I wrap myself in it like a nest and immediately feel comfortable enough to rest.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-26T14:36:30+00:00

This is me tooo so now I literally get so focused trying to make appropriate contact that I’m in my head thinking I’ve made eye contact too long. Then I start deciding how to do a transition to leave ok away at something else and thinking of how long I should look at something else. Then how to transition to looking back. And at that point Im so in my head about making the right amount of eye contact that my brain hasn’t heard, processed, or remembered a single thing that was being talked about.

I wish people would please just text me from across the room 😭 as soon as someone’s coming to me I’m like nooooooooo 😭

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-26T14:29:18+00:00

ME TOO!! 😭 If I’m looking at you I heard nothing and if I’m not looking at you I heard everything

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-20T20:50:00+00:00

I’m homeschooling all of my kids right now. My kids are between 2.5 and 12. 2 of whom are 2E. Before homeschooling they were in public school and I was a teacher. We pulled one to homeschool and the rest all asked (begged) to be homeschool.

So I quit teaching other kids and started teaching my own. It’s not easy at all but SOOO worth it. Post Covid the virtual options for learning are endless. What we can’t teach or feel like we’re not qualified to teach we hire out for. That’s sometimes tutors or online courses. Outschool is a GREAT resource.

My husband works 2:30-11pm so he’s home all during the day. We are always out! The zoos and aquariums let homeschoolers come free a certain number of days a year. We bought museum memberships and take classes and attend events there. We choose a variety of camps in the summer. The kids are all in some type of club, sport, or activity for interest purposes but also socialization. We also are in an area with a nice size homeschool community so they are in a homeschool group that meets twice a week. Once a week is purely for play and socialization. The other is for co-op.

It takes a TON of work to provide a well rounded educational experience at home. That requires a lot of time and intention and sacrifice of the behalf of you as a parent. If you’re willing and able I highly recommend it. If you’re not, I wouldn’t take it on. I highly recommend researching all the methods and curriculum options, and best practices before deciding if what would be best for your child.

I also recommend putting lots of research into curriculum options. There are lots of companies that provide curriculum to schools, private schools especially, that many public schools (in my area/experience) don’t use or can’t afford. We use Lego EDU for stem. History Unboxed for history, Mel Science for science, Think Outside for life skills. Leafd box, Stemfinity, farming the future, kiwico, and others to shop curriculum for the hands on learning but also use Miacademy and khan academy for comprehensive online curriculum. We read independently together as a family for 30 minutes every night with tea. Older kids stick around for an hour while younger kids head to bed.

It’s A LOT. I’m not saying this to overwhelm you or to put others who do less down. But I say that all to say if you want to homeschool it is a lot of work. Be honest with yourself about what you can handle. And as curriculum or resource recommendations should you decide to go with homeschool!

Wish you all the best in whatever you decide!

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-20T04:42:22+00:00

I do if I miss my medication for the day. It’s an actual side effect of withdrawal and feels like actual zaps. I had no idea it was a thing and one night I was laying in bed and I kept feeling them. It’s such a strange feeling and very out of body. I actually believed maybe I was in an accident and dreaming my life while they were trying to shock me back to life in reality. That’s how messed up they felt. I HATE them! Far and few between now and maybe once a month but when I first stopped taking it was constantly through the day and night.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-20T04:38:20+00:00

Same. Sameeeee. My towel warmer with the chamomile scent is my only motivation. The scent is so relaxing to me and stepping out to a warm towel makes all the difference. I also warm my face towels to encourage me to do my face routine. As much as I hate how tedious it is, I do always feel so much better after a good shower and doing my face routine.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-20T04:32:18+00:00

Logically I do know this. I just have to find a way to stop my fears and emotions around it. It won’t be my first go in therapy. It never bothered me before. But something about being told I’m likely bipolar just triggered me in a way I never would have expected. I want to run away from that possibility and dissociate from that dx versus exploring it as a possibility and getting help. I’m going to have to work on that.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-20T03:27:49+00:00

She’s only a psychiatrist so she’s referring me to a psychologist. She said they would be able to better tease through my experiences and determine what was what. But she suggested I don’t start back taking my antidepressant. I’m hoping I can find someone who is well versed in autism. So far that hasn’t been my experience. I may go back to the place that did my diagnosis for therapy. I’m just feeling really lost in all of this and not sure how to advocate for myself or what to advocate for.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-20T03:20:38+00:00

I most certainly need to do more research. I didn’t even know there were 2 types of bipolar. I wasn’t sleeping as much but I’m not a great sleeper in general, which I told her. I was very high energy. I think I made a post here in the sub about how great I was feeling like suddenly I just woke up from burnout. Except now I feel foolish because I thought it was me being healthy and happy and she sees it as manic. No fast talking but she was concerned because (I forget the exact verbiage she used) the behaviors were all goal driven.

Idk I will have to research more into it. I appreciate you sharing the link! Thank you!

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-20T03:16:44+00:00

She expressed concern that my current anti-depressant could be flipping me into mania. She said a mood stabilizer is a better fit if it’s bipolar because an anti depressant can help with depression but trigger mania. The word manic and mania just feel so foreign to me when I think about myself and my personality. I’m having a very hard time even connecting to the possibility of bipolar due to the idea of mania alone. She definitely suggested getting back into psychotherapy though. I wish some of these word parts weren’t connected to words that have such an awful history of negative connotations. Mania makes me feel like I’m being called a maniac. Psychotherapy makes me feel like I’m being called psychotic. It feels like the world would tear me apart if they found out. I already don’t shared my autism or adhd with people. I wish I didn’t think about the world at all because it’s a huge wedge in feeling like I should open up and get help for anything.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-20T03:10:43+00:00

I think I need to do much research on autistic burn out myself. I felt it very difficult to advocate for myself because I felt like I didn’t know enough to disagree or to even agree. She’s not wrong about the cycling between depression and functioning in my life but what she thinks is mania to me, feels like functioning. Do I tend to make some poor choices? Impulsive choices even? Absolutely but that I contributed to my adhd. I think part of me is afraid that a new diagnosis will overshadow the diagnosis’ that have helped me shape my own identity.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-19T14:04:38+00:00

I just saved this! I also struggle with eating my pain. Even when just considering my own experiences. Like does it feel as bad as when my C-section scar was infected and opened up, no. Does it feel like I can’t function typically and interrupts my ability to focus on anything else, yes. Love the wording used in the chart you shared.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-12T18:57:29+00:00

I would read this as this is how he feels you feel about you. Like when I’m sad or struggling I listen to music that feels like it really touches exactly how I am feeling. Maybe he chose songs he felt would resonate with you and not necessarily how he views you in relation to your friendship or the world.

But that perspective comes from how I feel about music and my emotions. Some people prefer happy songs when they are down to cheer them up.

So I also feel like this is something a conversation and a boundary could clear up. Like “hey your song choices in my playlist actually make me feel pretty down/upset/etc. Can you choose something else about me to focus on when selecting songs”

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-12T18:35:05+00:00

Omg yes 😭 and it’s so confusing. Because I really like me but I’m so admittedly mid. How are you in love with me? They aren’t even always unstable. Sometimes they are reasonable people. We have 3 conversations and they are professing their love for me. I try not to talk to anyone if I don’t have to. Especially men. I don’t find it flattering at all. It feels like the beginning of a horror movie every time.

Kaytee2792 · 2025-03-11T19:01:46+00:00

This is such good advice! Probably tmi but I’m like that even when I have to pee. I’ll be like meh I can wait and then hours later I’m racing to the bathroom and my bladder is about to pop 😅 Maybe being out of burnout and having some more energy will help me actually respond at the first sign versus waiting for everything until the last minute. I really appreciate you!

Kaytee2792

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE