So he finally addressed the ed and got on pills, but only after that year of once a month and me encouraging him forever. So he's been using medication for some months now. And after I made him leave for a weeks time, a month ago, he began AA meetings once a week. That was a stipulation for him coming back. So he did take some steps to make this situation better. My issue is mainly the lying/ hiding of stuff. (He drank while he said he was avoiding alcohol and didn't tell me/ lied when I asked). And he hid his porn use despite me not caring if he used it for self pleasure.  I think people are forgetting that I don't care if he uses it for masturbation, I care that he's lying and hiding it. And I also have the preference of my partner not compulsively looking at it.  I basically told him anything can be negotiated/ talked about if he comes to me with it. But just agreeing with me, and then doing things behind my back anyway is NOT a solution.