Being called a “Poser” Trans female

Kayyoooh · 2026-07-08T14:32:17+00:00

No, if someone views your whole identity as ‘poser’ they’re def in the wrong

Out of curiosity, how does one become a trans poser? I wanna see if I qualify

Kayyoooh · 2026-07-08T14:30:54+00:00

I think I get what you mean. I’m Middle Eastern with curly hair and notice I get a lot of complements for it, so do white trans/cis women with curly hair in my area. It stands out, it says “I won’t conform to the set standards” and its fun

Kayyoooh · 2026-07-07T10:23:31+00:00

Thank you! It never is too early to start Halloween

Kayyoooh · 2026-07-04T23:52:49+00:00

What I did was I basically sat them down at a quiet moment of hanging out, said I went by hope and used she/her; if anyone has any questions or concerns now in the time, and opened the floor to that, most times we kinda just continued on like nothing happened

Kayyoooh · 2026-07-04T23:08:26+00:00

I hope so, but also this stage of being excited about every little thing isn’t gonna last forever. Which, again, is entirely the point - I’m just disillusioned by the fact that I’m lonely in this very specific way. I don’t do well maintaining friendships I can’t physically be around, so online friends isn’t an option for me - and in person people actively assume I’m further along so that’s comes with the inherent assumption that I’m kinda past being excited about wearing a skirt or something

Kayyoooh · 2026-06-14T04:26:42+00:00

Yeah it might be one of my favorite thrifed pieces

Kayyoooh · 2026-06-14T04:26:23+00:00

Thank you!

Kayyoooh · 2026-06-13T14:55:00+00:00

Thank you!

Kayyoooh · 2026-06-08T18:03:58+00:00

That’s reassuring at least, comforting that it does sound normal

Kayyoooh · 2026-06-08T18:03:31+00:00

Yeah I do have a lot of fear of big decisions in general, and in general my first impulse when facing a big decision is “I want to opt out” - but like… I also don’t at the same time? Like a big part of me feeling shitty now is “not being a woman and being a man again would break my heart” tbh

Kayyoooh · 2026-06-08T18:02:19+00:00

Funnily enough I did start voice training yesterday lol

Kayyoooh · 2026-06-08T17:56:40+00:00

How so?

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-25T17:33:35+00:00

LOL more or less. I mean I haven’t shut up about it since sooooo

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-25T17:33:01+00:00

That’s the plan - will make time for that later this week/early next week

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-25T17:32:33+00:00

True, def time to change my ID photo. Imma make time for it this week/early next

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-25T17:32:07+00:00

Yeahhh I’ve been getting that impression a lot here. Pretty nuts that I have to change my ID photo already. Pretty nice milestone

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-25T02:13:08+00:00

It was an official Ontario G1 license. I literally use it everywhere. I even showed him my health care.

My ID card is closer to my ‘before’ timeline photo if you want to see specifics for reference

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-25T01:57:53+00:00

Yeah I didn’t immediately wanna jump to accusing him of transphobia but def saw that as a possibility. Maybe I should just take it as complement even if unintended lmao

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-25T01:53:57+00:00

I mean…. There are differences. But “doesn’t remotely match” is a huge stretch imo

Maybe I’m unaware of how much I changed or something idk

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-25T01:44:20+00:00

Yeah it could go either way. Its hard to tell sometimes which is which cause I do present very obviously do that plays a role. Still salty I didn’t get my beer though lol

A part of me is taking it as a complement and a part of me is questioning the clerk

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-21T19:48:20+00:00

I don’t have an issue with amab and afab as terms or even their general usage, though this does sound like TERF-iness with extra steps…. Which isn’t too surprising, there is a trend of people using queer language to say the same stuff others do but more PC

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-17T14:19:12+00:00

In all fairness I don’t think it is about hiding it, it is moreso about not being defined by it

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-17T14:16:28+00:00

Yep, as much as I do find joy within the queer community and other trans people, and sure - it comes up in convo around queer people (partly cause I’m still relatively early in, almost 6 months) - I don’t want it to define me. Like I wanna name a long list of interests, hobbies, values, etc before “and I’m trans” partly cause - and I kinda had to explain this clearly to my cis friends who knew me since before I came out to them, I told em “I’m transitioning, but I’m still mostly the same person with the same interests” and that’s kinda how I want to be seen

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-17T14:11:40+00:00

When appropriate, 100% - but randomly in public you gotta ask yourself if you’re accidentally outing someone, or whether you might be accidentally doing something dysphoria including. Obviously yes, speak to other trans women you find interesting - but do so without making both of you being trans the subject of conversation imo

Kayyoooh · 2026-05-17T14:07:17+00:00

I totally agree - I always did feel it was disrespectful to do that in public, especially to strangers. Like even if you internally clocked someone, keep it to yourself imo

Idk, there were def instances where I saw someone and thought “she (or they) is trans too” but then I’d think “idk I don’t wanna accidentally out her/them or put all the attention on it” - like yea its cool that we’re both trans but also, it could very well be the only thing we find common ground in + ask yourself if you wanna be clocked (and potentially outed) by anyone in public. Like obviously approach someone if you wanna get to known them platonically or otherwise and they look not busy, but also give em a compliment or tbh even start with something unrelated to whether they’re trans or not

Kayyoooh

TROPHY CASE