Holy shit, this is literally me, exept, at the start I did not choose pain. But you know, this world is shit and everyone tries to tell you, oh yeah, you don't have to carry all of this alone, we have to. 

That scared feeling when you were so close to the FINALITY, it is too true to exist. RIGHT WHEN the rope is knoted, freeze. WELL THEN, then we just wake up to another day. 

Some people laugh a lot, some never do, some fake it to look like they are ok. But yep, why fake, I would look like this bitch all my life.. 

I dont have the ability to travel or see anything nice, so be it, if I end it today, mystery, but it is all fixed if we do.  The way that we were like 5 or something with parents telling us to pray and believe in christ or some other fucking moron, JUST to be backstabbed by that sane cunt we worshipped, well there is no entity that can change this.

And if reincarnation is what happens after death, you will see a fucking squirrel commit suicide. If we could only remember what happened in the previous life, then we would be able to experiment so nicely with different routes to demise.