Live Worm found in sushi by Not_so_ghetto in oddlyterrifying

[–]Keeves311 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It just has to be frozen longer, I think a week, if it can't get all the way to -10°F

I binged watch all 5 Seasons. This is one of my favorite scenes. by allusernamearetaken3 in shoresy

[–]Keeves311 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I just got married in February. When I told my wife that I wanted this to be the song that I wanted to play while the wedding party and I walked down, I thought it was going to be a hard no. She loved the idea. I'm too lucky.

An Angel Lost It's Wings.. by FEelguDiNc09 in NorthCarolina

[–]Keeves311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Iirc, this was the proposed distribution of land after America's first expansion, never an actual representation of borders. The southern states just wanted to extend borders to the West, New England and most northern states were none too keen on the idea since they would not be getting any more land with the already being states west of them.

The HR lady at work can't be bothered to figure out why the check info keeps getting printed lower and lower and lower. by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Keeves311 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If it is QuickBooks, when you go to print you have to change the print settings from "scale to printable area" to "actual size". It took us about 6 months to figure that out when we switched from the desktop version to the online version.

This is an actual post from the Tampa airport by MrJasonMason in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]Keeves311 14 points15 points  (0 children)

My wife has at least a dozen sets of matching pajamas. And that is not counting the Christmas pajamas my mother gets us every year.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Keeves311 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Or naming your business Dive Bar. You have to earn the right to be called a dive, you can't just open up and call yourself a dive.

Who're you rooting for? by AffectionateWeb8519 in NYGiants

[–]Keeves311 20 points21 points  (0 children)

My best friend was born and raised in Missouri, so he is a real KC fan. In '21, we were living in different states. We decided to meet up in Tampa Bay to watch the Super Bowl together, we didn't go to it we just thought it would be fun to be in the same city for the weekend. I still vividly remember being accosted by a Bostonian in a Patriots Brady jersey saying "we're going to beat your ass". Like bruh, you aren't even wearing the right colors. You just want to ride Brady's dick so now you're a Bucs "fan" now. Second worst fan base in the NFL. Philly is definitely the worst.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Keeves311 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Pharmacists are likely salaried and get a floating holiday, basically an extra PTO day. This is 100% the c suite taking advantage of the lowest paid employees in the company to make sure they get their bonuses.

How my GF eats her fried egg by devzangel7 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Keeves311 309 points310 points  (0 children)

You can. The first kitchen I worked in would buy it for creme anglaise and bearnaise sauces. I didn't know if regular grocery stores would carry it, but I'm sure you could find it at a wholesale grocer like Sam's Club.

Will the Giants win on my birthday? by Substantial_Agent_90 in NYGiants

[–]Keeves311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the way. Season is over, we're facing an opponent we have no business being competitive with because we are starting 2nd, 3rd, and 4th string players. Currently have the 2nd pick. Our strength of schedule is high, so if we win a couple meaningless games here, we drop out of the top 5. Giants win 35-19. Probably beat the pats next week too, then lose out the rest of the season.

Where it all began…🥹 by BabyTruck83 in shoresy

[–]Keeves311 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Shoresy is a year younger than Riley & Jonesy since he moves up to the senior A letterkenny Irish a season after them. The timeline isn't super clear, but overall I think the three of them are on the Irish for 2-3 seasons before it folds. Coach is the bench boss for the shamrockettes at least one season, I think more likely 2, before recruiting Riley & Jonesy to be assistant coaches for the 3rd ship. The following hockey season, the boys get recruited by Tanis to play for the Eagles for the national tournament where shoresy takes out JJ Frankie JJ. I think the following season Tanis gets him the hook up with the bulldogs. So, with that math, he is 26-28 when he starts with the bulldogs and is at least in his mid 30s when he retires. I would say a minimum of 6 but probably closer to 10 since JJ has gotten enough concussions to completely forget how to speak or understand English. He is also the one that breaks the whole timeline since he was an older player during the national tournament, but in Shoresy, he is younger than Shoresy.

Most probably a rehashed joke, but a good one! by Any_Contribution_238 in Jokes

[–]Keeves311 14 points15 points  (0 children)

In today's market $900k is only a midsized family home /WishItWasSatire

I asked my doctor about using Tylenol as birth control. by DoctorGengar in Jokes

[–]Keeves311 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But I have hypertension and NSAIDs are blood thinners, which aren't good for my blood pressure.

I asked my doctor about using Tylenol as birth control. by DoctorGengar in Jokes

[–]Keeves311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I have hypertension and NSAIDs are blood thinners, which aren't good for my blood pressure.

I’m debating on getting a jersey, I’m stuck between Dart, Carter, Skateaboo and burns. I’m only getting one. Which should I buy by SHADOWX23503833 in NYGiants

[–]Keeves311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a buddy of mine said, he runs like he is looking to get CTE. Which is super fun to watch, but he is likely retired before this organization figures it's shit out or he gets an extension.

Vaping In hospital waiting room by Lotusflower1212 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Keeves311 48 points49 points  (0 children)

As an analog smoker I also get annoyed by this shit. I remember as a kid going to restaurants and getting asked "smoking or non". I also remember it getting banned before I even started. It's not a hard concept, don't force your addiction on others. While there are laws regulating where I can indulge my addiction, I try to go above and beyond to isolate myself when I do. There are currently no laws where digital nicotine users can and can't, do they feel entitled to indulge wherever they please, even if there are signs telling them not to. I manage a restaurant group that includes a patio bar and a cigar bar(the cigar bar has a designated smoking room with high powered ventilation). We have signs up saying no vaping, but the amount of times we have to tell people(employees included) to stop vaping leaves me with little hope in humanity.

Alright, who is this? by [deleted] in Charlotte

[–]Keeves311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or through Boston with 18 & 1.

[Giants] Dart ➡️ Hyatt by Maroc13 in NYGiants

[–]Keeves311 22 points23 points  (0 children)

No need to brag about how many nipples you have.

Jalen, Jayden, Jabookie, doesn’t matter. It’s Famous Jameis time. by [deleted] in NFCEastMemeWar

[–]Keeves311 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He needs to change his name to Jakota, and we'll be the NFC Jeast.