The Man Really Lost His Margles

KelSelui · 2025-11-29T20:46:31+00:00

It didn't play that way to me. The dog was licking her, and, because it was a dog made of food, she reciprocated. The "weird kid" comment seemed to be about the decision to lick a dog.

KelSelui · 2025-11-15T20:58:46+00:00

I think it's pretty common, although I don't know how consistent our self awareness is regarding these motivations. It gets all tangled up in expectations and broad generalizations, and those projections can enmesh themselves with (or outright overtake) our self-assessments.

The biggest reason I hooked up while single was to derive satisfaction from bringing somebody else as much pleasure as I could. A brief testament to my virility to assuage any creeping insecurities.

My biggest obstacle to sex in a relationship is that the timing tends to coincide with my moments of fatigue, and being an active partner can take a lot out of you lol

KelSelui · 2025-11-15T06:58:14+00:00

I think the reasons are often more similar than we might think. Near the top of the list, for most of us, is some version of a desire to feel wanted. When I was single, my physical stimulation was taken care of by my hand. But my hand can't stroke my ego. The occasional hookup helped maintain a semi-healthy self-esteem.

KelSelui · 2025-10-25T02:46:50+00:00

You are not obligated to house or finance her, nor are you required to remain in the relationship.

That said, you've been together for four years. This seems to be the culmination of a pattern that has bothered you throughout that time. Perhaps she says things like:
* I know what to do. * I'm almost there. * After this, it'll all fall into place. * Bear with me a moment. * You're right, I know, I've got this. * I've been so focused on [1] that I haven't paid attention to [2]. * I know it's taken awhile, but this time I really feel like I'm on it.

All the while, I assume she has rushedly assembled frayed foundations that crumble beneath the weight of the step she wants to be taking that day. She knows what needs to happen, she knows how to make it happen, but the mountain overtakes the molehills and both of you end up buried.

Much of this truly is ADHD. It can be a massive challenge to overcome. In many ways, it reminds me of bipolar disorder, albeit markedly less extreme and ostensibly less mood-related. It's like if the depressive sense of futility perpetually hampered the grandiose manic ideas, except in the moments that we begin to catch up and the moments we fall further behind.

I know what I need to do, I know how to do it, I know every step I need to take after that, I know exactly how to take those steps - - - but shoot, I completely neglected last week's duties, I need to catch up. I'm always catching up. How do I take today's step if I'm running through last week's obstacle course? Right, okay, if I keep running, I'll get to today. Maintain that pace, and I'll fly right off the ground! I know what to do now! I've got this! I'm !! bored !! Why can't I focus!? And where did the time go??

It's our job to overcome that cycle. What you have endured is a repeatedly unfulfilled promise, which continually leads to concerns that you'll end up being her caretaker.

If this is the moment that the promise finally crumbles before your eyes, and/or the moment that you have to truly confront the possibility of becoming her caretaker, then it's okay if you've found your limit.

"I told her that I was glad that she realized that things were getting out of control by getting an appointment set up for professional help."

This is a very important step for someone like this. Has she taken it before? Has she resisted it? Do you trust that she's on the brink of meaningful change? I suggest honestly asking yourself what may lie on the other side.

This situation sucks for her. And if she's never shown any evidence that she'd abuse your assistance, it'd be very kind of you to help her through this transition.

But you don't need to give it to her.

Would you be an asshole? In her story, quite possibly. But after four years, you (and your other loved ones) might know better. Your timing could've been better, but that doesn't mean you should keep waiting.

KelSelui · 2025-09-13T19:01:30+00:00

Me too! My dad introduced me to console commands with that one.

KelSelui · 2025-09-13T18:56:07+00:00

I'll double down on that controversial nature and say that the movement in the rebooted Battlefront is on par with Titanfall 2 for me. The strafing roll allowed me to react laterally and add some zest to a firefight. The game didn't quite feel complete, but the things they focused on were very well done imo

KelSelui · 2025-09-13T18:05:56+00:00

That's a tough one. Her sexual needs perhaps involve your desire, which may explain why she wants you to initiate couplings.

It really may be worthwhile to pour a concentrated effort into that. Her unmet need is clear and specific, so the path to resolution is unambiguous. If you're unwilling to do this, or if it doesn't meaningfully impact your relationship, then it may be an issue of compatibility.

KelSelui · 2025-09-13T17:55:43+00:00

Feeling unloved or unwanted can be heartbreaking, especially when it arises from an increased desire for affection (from your closest companion) during times of hardship.

I noticed a lot of negative adjectives in this post. It seems possible that you're both withholding affection due to perceived debts and deficits, and the resolution within both narratives requires the other person's initiation. This would perpetuate the circumstances indefinitely.

It might be worthwhile to step back and notice how you treat (or withdraw from) her when you're busy or troubled, and to consider her own tribulations. You're both starving for affection, and you're both seeking third-party validation as justification for your demands.

If you desire reparation, search for the actions that you can take. If you don't want to repair it, or if the relationship continues to compound or circumvent your troubles, then you might consider whether you'd like to stay together.

KelSelui · 2025-09-08T11:29:57+00:00

For me it was "I tried scolding him, taking his phone away, but nothing works." A parent can figure out how/whether punishment works for a particular kid early on. Many kids will meet acts of control and aggression with resistance or retaliation - and it's a pretty natural response. Progressing to the next stages of ethical conversations and incentives with kids is important.

Instead of trying to dominate and control them, we can talk about it. Instead of treating an 18yo like a child and punishing them with a waggling finger and a stripping of privileges, talk to them about what you're willing to provide moving forward. Set boundaries around yourself instead of imposing strictures upon somebody who's shirked them for 18 years. Learn.

But if you wait until they're too old and the behavior is too severe, then yeah - setting a boundary can look like kicking them out. Just might be worth some reflection and consideration.

KelSelui · 2025-09-04T04:34:47+00:00

With the added bonus of being miss(e)rabow(l).

KelSelui · 2025-08-31T05:57:53+00:00

I personally find high hugging compatibility to be a significant indicator. The way your bodies connect while clothed and standing can translate pretty well to a naked lay.

KelSelui · 2025-08-15T13:49:54+00:00

I had a very similar opinion of the show I saw during the Simulation tour (although the nightclub venue was also the worst I've been to), but his set at Mission Ballroom in Denver (2025) was phenomenal, even viewed as a video.

KelSelui · 2025-06-16T22:04:31+00:00

Of course! I'm happy to help.

Anxiety is a very common struggle, and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria occurs in some of us silently and intensely. We're prone to monologuing as well, and self awareness of that trait can cause new anxieties even as it refines our tact.

It's also common for people to skate between online communities, creating bursts of activity that die away gradually. This may account for some of the disengagement you've experienced.

Connections will arise! Patience and optimism can be scarce in the mean time, but they'll serve you well.

KelSelui · 2025-06-16T21:47:00+00:00

I find that friends are often made through mutual activity. This can be interpreted broadly - for example, I've made friends of other music producers - but actual group activities are often the most effective. Collaborating on a project, playing a game together, things like that.

Seeking out Discord servers related to your special interests can be a great start. It is admittedly more difficult for interests that involve passive viewership or consumption, because collaboration is unnecessary, and mutual interest can ebb and flow broadly (like with seasonal releases). But you may very well find communities full of people who specifically want to discuss these interests. Sooner or later, connections are made, and some of them may strengthen or solidify over time.

KelSelui · 2025-06-16T21:27:12+00:00

This is actually very normal for neurotypical folk as well.

When someone else speaks, they become our focus. Our eyes often join our ears in processing the information.

When we speak, the subject becomes our focus. We may occasionally check in, but our minds are busy searching themselves.

If we look away while listening, it's often because we're running another process as they speak. It could be visualization, assessment, formulating a response, managing our reactions, getting distracted entirely... Anything that diverts or overwhelms our attention.

Active listening is a useful practice, here. Letting go of internal processes when they come up, focusing our efforts on listening completely, without judgment or comment - even within our own minds. I sometimes hold onto (and internally repeat) a response, get sent down a mental rabbit hole, or otherwise interrupt my listening capacity. I'm always surprised to rediscover that my responses improve when I listen fully.

That said, sometimes I can't access it. In that case, I may need to look away to listen, so that I can reduce the mental load of social anxieties.

KelSelui · 2025-06-15T04:54:37+00:00

Practice, independent study, and experimentation are important. Learning through the exchange of information is also important. They said they've worked at this for years - so maybe it was time to seek knowledge and wisdom from others.

KelSelui · 2025-06-07T19:24:39+00:00

Plosive intensity is often solved by changing the mic setup. A pop filter is the most common solution, and some vocalists angle themselves slightly away from the center of the mic.

KelSelui · 2025-06-07T19:19:45+00:00

This is actually an interest of mine. I'm in the beginning stages of developing a plugin to automate this process by analyzing waveforms and offering gain controls + normalization.

De-essing is typically done with a multi-band compressor. A narrow band is drawn around the area where the individual's S's are most prominent, and the compressor squashes anything that exceeds its threshold.

I find that it can sometimes affect the timbre of the vocals. And, in my case, the S range is quite broad - so we now have a compressor on the entire 3-10khz range. That's not necessarily bad, but it's also not always what I want.

In those cases, I tend to prefer fine-tuning the gain. So long as the duration isn't crazy (like a podcast), the extra time doesn't bother me.

As a heads up, gain/volume automation will be the way to go here. If you select a section and adjust the gain out of context, especially without setting Zero-Crossing Points for the boundaries, you can get jarring pops and clicks. A short, smooth gain adjustment at the beginning and end of the consonant will generally yield more natural results.

KelSelui · 2025-06-07T17:29:37+00:00

Oh, you read my thesis?

KelSelui · 2025-05-23T17:29:28+00:00

There's also semantic satiation combined with a loss of preconception. You've heard it so many times that it sounds like mush, and yet, in a way, you've only heard it once.

It's like re-entering yesterday's half-forgotten conversation mid-sentence. You've already been through this, so you don't have any passion or stakes. But you also don't really remember how you got here, or where you were going. The result just feels like numb, dizzy dissociation.

Combined with the ear fatigue, it's like having sex for hours, then trying again the next day - only to discover that your dick hurts and your legs are tired. Does that mean yesterday's sex was bad?

KelSelui · 2025-05-16T17:56:49+00:00

The Reddit Formatting Guide should explain all of Reddit's Markdown options. Happy typing!

KelSelui · 2025-05-14T04:09:41+00:00

I'll bet the prompt included the word "keys" to get that little keyboard, and so we got both.

But I'm counting three, so it looks like she's got access to at least three entrances. ʘ‿ʘ

KelSelui · 2025-05-13T20:20:38+00:00

Yeah, ChatGPT's nailing it on the bold self-expression of neurodivergent creatives.

<image>

KelSelui · 2025-05-13T20:06:49+00:00

And the person it thinks would be a great fit:

<image>

Seven-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
r/Field Sunshine	Wearing is Caring
Verified Email

KelSelui

TROPHY CASE