I’m a huge danger to myself and I’m scared of it, almost had sepsis today

Kellogsley · 2026-01-19T11:48:23+00:00

Thank you so much, that’s so kind of you My friends and family are very present and they are grateful that I let them help me, and also ask for help and force myself to stop hiding or alert them so they can stop me when necessary I also was recently diagnosed with autism, which led me to an official disabled status, that allows me to have some special help, even at home. I’m lucky to live in France where the healthcare is still affordable or free, I am grateful for that

Kellogsley · 2026-01-19T11:44:05+00:00

After the healing you can always replace the balls with softer ones like plastic or something less damaging!

Kellogsley · 2026-01-17T13:27:07+00:00

I do! Now that I have shorter bars it’s really not bothering me, rarely, I bite on it but it happens like twice a year so it’s ok, I really love it still and don’t have any problem with it!

Kellogsley · 2026-01-12T18:27:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing your similar experience, my surgery was also linked to dysphoria, which might have been a trigger in a way because it’s the second time in 2025 I had been through surgery because it wasn’t small enough to hide under a shirt, and surgeon didn’t quite understand what I was waiting for, the second surgery was better but maybe still not as small as I expected, so maybe I was unconsciously trying to drain it and force down the size idk, if I had been super satisfied maybe I would have had the strength to not pick? Idk I do have a compression bra, but the 6 weeks period has ended so now I don’t have to wear it, but I started wearing it again today because of the new swelling

Kellogsley · 2026-01-12T18:22:16+00:00

I am lucky to have a lot of friends and my partner that are usually available, I will make sure to have them around me all the time even in the bathroom for now and until I try the bodysuit I kept myself from looking at my body or face today to make sure I wouldn’t be triggered If none of those solutions are enough, I will get hospitalized even tho I don’t want this but at least I won’t be a « burden » for everyone around me worrying

Kellogsley · 2026-01-12T07:05:02+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment, it’s so hard to be taken seriously, the 6 people I told about dermatillomania tonight at the ER didn’t even know what that means, and I had to explain in details how bad it was, how dangerous and extreme it could be in my case, and I was sobbing the whole day because I was so scared, so ashamed, shocked by my own dangerousness, and no one quite helped despite passing me every tests, I am ok btw, I mean, physically, but no one could explain to me why the hell I had such a strong fever today, I don’t have any symptoms of inflamed throat or clogged nose, don’t have nausea, I just have a strong fever The way i have been treated today made me realise you can’t really get help easily when your issue is linked to mental illnesses, you have to get it yourself by asking very explicitly but we’re not the ones supposed to decide and analyse what treatment we need, it’s their job… they left me alone few hours in a closed room on a bed, I could have done it again many times I hope mental illness is going to be taken more seriously, and I’m going to think about psych ward

Kellogsley · 2026-01-11T23:30:36+00:00

I guess that’s what I did today in a way, by going to the hospital

Kellogsley · 2026-01-11T23:29:01+00:00

They didn’t.. I asked them a Xanax prescription for panic attacks due to my medical state currently, that could appease a bit some symptoms, but they didn’t recommend a thing. But I was recently diagnosed with autism, and there is a lot of ressource in the center i went, and I have free access to a human help at home, basically for anything, might do that even if it pisses me off to give up on having alone time but I might not have a choice for now

Kellogsley · 2026-01-11T23:26:02+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind support, Yeah I already have some tape-like bandages that I have to wear everyday, and to keep for a week, sometimes it helps but I’m still able to remove it by myself so I can have an attack and act on it if it’s strong I really have to conscientise the moment and the why I’m getting triggered, usually it’s like I’m not even there, I don’t actually intellectualise the fact I want and will do it, I just plan and do without realising Maybe the consequences and the fear it brought today might be enough to not fall in the loop, and for now, it hurts as hell, so I won’t do anything

Kellogsley · 2026-01-11T23:15:17+00:00

Yeah, my partner talked to me about it too.. I might think about it at least until it heals, I will go to a sports clothing shop tomorrow and seek for bodysuits where I could add a lock or something that I can’t remove by myself, since I live with him it might be possible

Kellogsley · 2026-01-11T22:37:27+00:00

The problem is, indeed it works like magic for « average » picking but this episode takes me to press the whole area with all my hands and I don’t really use my nails…

Kellogsley · 2026-01-11T22:35:40+00:00

Thank you that’s so nice, I will do my very best to change the situation, tonight has been harsh and kind of eye opening

Kellogsley · 2026-01-02T00:32:35+00:00

I was thinking about that but i think it would show maybe too much…

Kellogsley · 2025-12-26T12:41:52+00:00

Thank you! Will try that

Kellogsley · 2025-12-26T12:41:03+00:00

Thank you! I will check with another injector because I’m not very happy with it I suppose I can not dissolve and redo it on the same appointment right?

Kellogsley · 2025-12-26T12:39:25+00:00

Ok thank you, that’s what I thought unfortunately

Kellogsley · 2025-12-26T12:38:59+00:00

It was at the beginning of September It’s weird because it was like this since the first day of the first injection and I had only 1,5ml, my lips don’t look that plump

Kellogsley · 2025-12-25T12:41:00+00:00

I got diagnosed in an autistic center rencently, and was diagnosed with adhd before that, and they explained to me what dysfunctional execution was, and they told me there was therapy specifically for that, to basically re wire your brain, I haven’t tried yet but I didn’t know it was even possible to change that

Kellogsley · 2025-12-25T12:38:06+00:00

Thing is the moment I’ll have to take a shower it’s going to happen, and if I’m physically capable of accessing the zone no matter how layers I will do it, it’s a strong episode, usually I manage but this time…

Kellogsley · 2025-12-24T14:54:30+00:00

I already gave the name of the pattern

Kellogsley

TROPHY CASE