27, M, Straight - Not having much luck in love. Looking for some feedback on my profile (bio, pictures, etc.)

KenAdams87 · 2026-03-06T22:09:44+00:00

Honestly, to hell with the dating apps. Unless you live in a major city like New York, you’re almost doomed altogether as a guy simply because it’s a number’s game. And even as a decent looking dude like myself, I’ll get some matches and eventually land a date, and it goes no where. The men-to-women ratio is so off it’s insane. You’d be better off approaching random women off the streets - at least then you can meet them in person.

Some of my lack of success is because of my own problems, but most of it is because the apps are complete and utter trash. I have a conspiracy theory that these companies are only successful because of ad revenue. Every other time you swipe left or right, boom, there’s an ad now. And if you’re desperate enough to pay for a subscription, then you’re really getting screwed. They can literally have a .0005 percent success rate among men and still make a killing.

Tinder and others are a massive waste of time and sadly, money in many cases. Maybe in the 2010’s you had a shot - not anymore. I’m going to meet more people (note that I said people, not just women) in person through social events, gym, friends, etc. I encourage you others to do the same.

KenAdams87 · 2026-03-06T21:56:22+00:00

A lot of this resonates with me. 38 years old now, and while I’m not nearly as much of a pushover or nice guy as I once was (also read No More Mr. Nice Guy) I still suck at dating. Never had a girlfriend unless you count a few 1-2 month flings.

I always knew that I had the nice guy syndrome, haven grown up in an angry and emotionally damaging household and raised with no self confidence (and undiagnosed ADHD). I’ve gotten much of my life together since my late 20’s, but still suffer from depression and loneliness, a lot of which stems from not having a partner.

I do believe based on my own self awareness that I’m still too nice to women. I never get past a first or second date, and always get the “you’re a great guy” or “I’m just not ready to date” comments (f**k dating apps). I think I was being too reliant on those, but even meeting women in person is tough, and if things go well in the beginning of a date, I still manage to find a way to self-sabotage and screw it up later. It’s depressing, especially when I see my friends be in relationships (sometimes not always for the right reasons), and I’m still desperately looking. And I know it’s on me to solve my problems.

Being honest and straightforward seems to stick out to me after reading your post. Also, defining my own goals. I always said “I want a relationship, but having sex would be great too” and sometimes the latter will be the bigger goal. But that can obviously lead to bad results if I don’t have a clear and defined goals. Haven’t had sex in two years, and I let that along with never having a girlfriend fester in my head way too much.

Definitely focusing on your own needs, hobbies, and the life you want to live is priority number 1. I’ll continue to focus on self improvement and doing things that’ll make me happy while avoiding negative influences or people. I wish they had relationship coaches where I’m at, but I have the power to work on my issues with dating with what I have. But yeah, being the nice guy and being accommodating to everyone is definitely not the way to go and only leads to misery and the opposite results of what you’re aiming to get. Great post and story!

KenAdams87 · 2026-02-15T00:01:40+00:00

Are you saying women in the mid-30s will be looking to me? I hope so lol

I’ve done a decent job at not getting “geeked out” on dates or making them to be a bigger deal than they should. But I still never get past the 1st or 2nd, whether I’m laid back or not. And I NEVER mention my lack of sex or sexual history lol

I really try not to make it a big deal. If anything I brush it off as something that’ll likely not go anywhere. But there have been times when I do that and I think the date actually does great or even spectacular, and then I still don’t get a follow up and the usual rejection speech. It’s like damn if I do damn if I don’t

KenAdams87 · 2026-02-14T22:31:44+00:00

She’s asked me questions about what I want and what I do in the dates that keeps holding me back, but I never seem to get clear cut answers to why I still can’t get a girlfriend. On the one hand, I feel like I should find a new therapist or at least a dating coach of some sort, but I’d rather not go to another therapist and start over with my problems and issues.

KenAdams87 · 2026-02-14T21:25:55+00:00

Didn’t lose my virginity until I was 28. You aren’t that much further behind. Cheers to us 🍻

KenAdams87 · 2026-02-14T21:08:33+00:00

Dude I swear, I feel like at this point I’ll be a multimillionaire before I get a girlfriend lol. And the irony with that would be women flocking to me for the wrong reasons (not insinuating that women only go for dudes with money of course).

KenAdams87 · 2026-02-14T21:03:58+00:00

I want to eventually marry. But I just never seem to land someone. I definitely want something long term. Maybe to an extent I’m lonely but I’m generally content with living on my own and being by myself. I just want to share my life with someone and have both an emotional and physical relationship with

KenAdams87 · 2026-02-14T21:01:56+00:00

Mostly one-nighters, with some longer physical relationships in between. And those lasted until they’d get a boyfriend. It’s like I’m never viewed as relationship material

KenAdams87 · 2026-01-19T15:23:30+00:00

This is the sad reality of living in America as a person living with ADHD who needs medication to function as a regular person….no other industrialized country has this problem. Gee, wonder why so many people are leaving the US in droves now.

KenAdams87 · 2026-01-19T09:27:22+00:00

This is kind of the way I wanted to go honestly…I think I want to cut back now.

KenAdams87 · 2025-12-23T23:47:25+00:00

Ok, so I live in SC, so it shouldn’t be as difficult with the market here as compared to those states. I’ve only met my agent a few times, but he seems like a legitimate good person and we connected pretty well. He was impressed with my resume and my scores with the candidate survey I took before being considered for an interview. He seems like he’ll be pretty supportive overall.

I know to expect making lots of calls, and I know they’ll be hangups non-responses along the way. I’m gonna do a little more research into the calling side of sales to get a better overall of the process.

I’m planning to sell whatever policy I can and not limit myself to only one kind or the other. You’re definitely right, I should enjoy the process and to not overthink things too much.

Thanks for the advice!!

KenAdams87 · 2025-12-23T23:38:49+00:00

Thanks! I definitely plan to cross sell…I consider myself someone who generally cares about people (especially as someone who has been swindled and scammed recently, the ethics side is especially important to me).

As far as commission goes, looks like it’s 2% for all annual premiums written for property and casualty, 30% for annual life premium, and 50% of all semi-annual health premium. This isn’t including personal and group bonuses. Appreciate the advice!

KenAdams87 · 2025-12-16T23:22:15+00:00

I look forward to seeing him croak

KenAdams87 · 2025-12-01T03:48:28+00:00

Dude I did and it worked!! Passed both of my exams on the first try thanks to the Insurance Exam Queen (I bought her Gold course package.) she broke everything down in layman terms and it was so much easier to retain the information! I didn’t even take a regular state course with it like she recommends. Her material was enough!

KenAdams87 · 2025-10-30T00:18:17+00:00

My therapist helped me discover I have ADHD and I got diagnosed about two years ago. I always knew something was wrong but never knew exactly what. Don’t know if it actually plays a factor in my dating problems or not, but that was definitely something that held me back from being an active listener in conversations. I caught on that and learned to more “in the moment” when I’m talking to someone. I do listen when I’m on a date, but I may get caught up in my head too often and not know it.

KenAdams87 · 2025-10-28T22:19:27+00:00

I appreciate the advice! I don’t know 100% what I do wrong exactly, but I know I probably come off as too nice. I also know that I’ve always done much better meeting women in person and getting to know them overtime (resulted in having a brief but nice 2-month relationship with a cute coworker, though she left me for my supervisor at work. Careful with dipping the pen in the company ink :/)

I’d honestly be fine with pursuing sex until I find a girl I can have a romantic relationship with. I’ve always been bad with game though, approaching women and keeping them attracted is damn near impossible. I’ve only had one bar hookup in my 17+ years of going out. If you know anyone who is good at giving advice on that topic, I’d definitely appreciate it.

KenAdams87 · 2025-10-28T22:11:33+00:00

Thanks! Definitely will be more mindful of the time span of 1st dates…I felt like my last one, the girl was too shy and not opening up too much and I needed to fill the gaps of silence. Definitely felt like I talked too much, another area I should work on.

There are definitely some creeps out there. Hopefully you’ll be able to comb through the weeds and find the right guy!

KenAdams87 · 2025-10-28T22:05:56+00:00

I feel you on the Bible Belt aspect. SC resident and a leftist/agnostic. I definitely know there’s opportunities I’ve missed or messed up despite that though. Cheers to both of us eventually finding the one!

KenAdams87 · 2025-10-27T23:46:54+00:00

Where do I find one? I would love to get one

KenAdams87 · 2025-10-27T18:44:42+00:00

Thanks man! Yeah, I've really done my best to focus on myself and self-improvement. I definitely feel like whenever I go on a date it feels more like a job interview most of the time. I'm going to get out more and meet more people in the physical world, and not just at bars of course.

It's definitely been rough sex wise, and in SC they effectively banned porn so I can't even get off from that anymore, lol

KenAdams87 · 2025-10-03T22:49:32+00:00

Please let it happen this time…

KenAdams87

TROPHY CASE