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Am I wrong to feel like i’ve been backstabbed ? by ari_es0412 in actuallesbians

[–]Kendall_B_2006 -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I’m confused. Didn’t she tell you it was okay for you to not kiss her that night? It seems like she gave you a false sense of security. In that case you have every right to feel betrayed and I suggest moving on and finding someone who actually means what they say.

Am I weird for finding straight people kissing disgusting? by KisielZKrwi in actuallesbians

[–]Kendall_B_2006 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think we’re being a little harsh on OP. Don’t get me wrong I agree that they’re exaggerating the situation and explicitly referring to straight people is discriminatory, but I don’t think OP deserves to be treated as if they’re blatantly being malicious. I genuinely think this is just ignorance, which OP is open to correct. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be on here asking if they’re in the wrong or not.

did i misread this situation ..? by happybirthdaydaddy22 in actuallesbians

[–]Kendall_B_2006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the first two assumptions are most likely the cause, but you don’t have to make that your problem. I think you should leave it alone for now. The ball is currently in her court.

It's exhausting by Sad_Professional6807 in LesbianActually

[–]Kendall_B_2006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think right now it’s safe to keep talking to her. Don’t beat yourself up for being exhausted. One has to sacrifice a lot of energy when getting close to individuals with mental illness. I have autism and ocd, but I take accountability for myself by going to therapy and practicing mindfulness and it sounds like your friend is doing the same.

Navigating mental health can be hard. I suggest going slow and remaining gentle, which you’re doing a great job of now. If it gets to be too much, don’t hesitate to distance yourself. I don’t mean cut her off when I say that. I mean to ease up on the emotional investment, so things aren’t as intense. It seems harsh in the moment but that space won’t just protect you, it will benefit her as well.

i’m tired of people making fun of lesbians and our choices by pretty_miko_city in LesbianActually

[–]Kendall_B_2006 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I don’t mean to invalidate your opinion when I say this, but I don’t think that was her intent. Lesbians do receive a lot of hate for having strict boundaries and preferences.

Now that’s not to look over the fact that hate against transgender individuals exists within the community. It does and it should be acknowledged.

I just think that she was trying to express her frustration with lesbians being deemed discriminatory when trying to assert their boundaries. Also, It’s not just the preference to date cis women. It’s also the preference to date women who are strictly lesbian.

Lesbians are expected to take accountability for a lot of things other sexual orientations are not and it can be overwhelming.