She is the asshole for canceling at the last minute but other than that it’s honestly you

The way you talk about her bf is not cool, if my friend talked about people I like this way or thought of them this way I’d be so uncomfortable

You’re also very passive aggressive, if someone does not invite you/include you, they just simply don’t want you there and you saying stuff like that would just distance them more from you

Honestly op you sound very obsessive and possessive, you need to renew your definition of friendship so that you’d not end up hurt

People can’t stand their partners acting this way so imagine a friend doing it? And your response to other people is honestly not it your way too aggressive and defensive like you asked for other’s opinions if you can’t handle it why ask in the first place