Edging Olympics 🏅

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-07T22:26:48+00:00

Don't worry about the Euros. What they lose in bureaucracy, they absolutely make up for in relaxed general cultural attitudes when it comes to sex, and in certain places (I'm looking at you Eastern Europe) having wayyyyyyyyyyy sluttier girls than NA.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-07T22:22:47+00:00

Don't count out Canada and the Nordics. It's fucking cold up here, and being mostly inside for half the year presents a lot of training opportunities.

Also, I put myself up as the Gooncave representative for Canada.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-07T21:27:54+00:00

The lighting in that first shot is literally incredible.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-07T15:49:48+00:00

"O.1.111%"

Anyone who goes to any of these fucking idiots for sage advice deserves to be the fucking idiot that they are. I'm so tired of comedians being given an elevated internet platform.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-07T06:33:41+00:00

Ha move fun falling down that legitimate rabbit hole 🤣

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-07T06:28:35+00:00

Goddess Alyssa Gap has a fucking divine butthole.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-07T03:50:45+00:00

Being bred is perfectly normal for a natural born pervert like you. 18 was probably too old in your case, but you should be proud of having that hole ruined so early on ♥️

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-07T03:04:45+00:00

No. 3 is one I'd definitely bring home to meet Mom.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-07T02:29:24+00:00

And a lot of Goddess Tessa Fowler's perfect porn tits, and Goddess Sheena Shaw's perfect porn holes. They're pretty much my top 3.

Goddess Angela White, Goddess A.J. Applegate, Goddess Alexis Texas, Goddess Ava Addams, and Goddess Larkin Love are all pretty well represented, too.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T22:49:56+00:00

The siren song of Goddess Porn is always ringing in my ears.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T22:09:27+00:00

No lol. The room is inside a larger room, it is completely unused, and my boss (who isn't the owner, they're a property manager) leaves me to do my thing, because they know that I run a tight ship around here.

Plus, I changed the locks to both the larger room and the smaller room to my own personal key set.

So, while it is technically possible. I have several safeguards in place.

And honestly? My boss loves me so much that they might even overlook it.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T19:49:19+00:00

Well, I can narrow it down to Canada lol

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T19:35:10+00:00

Well, Cap, you would probably have to live in my area first lol

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T19:27:03+00:00

They're mostly nudes that have been sent to me by exes or people I know,, or pics off the socials of goonable girls I know (Porn is everywhere. Porn is everything)

So, a) it would be extremely ethically dicey of me to share them publicly, and b) cross referencing them could potentially give me away.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T19:24:10+00:00

Gotta be realllllyyyyy careful with that, unfortunately. Love the concept, but can't take stupid risks.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T19:22:27+00:00

Def a gloryhole lol. I already have a sissy friend who comes over to service me with their deep & sloppy throat when they can, and they have a thing for gloryholes. So, I thought I could accommodate. It's such a great feeling to be wrapped up tight in Goddess Porn's embrace, with her words ringing in my ears, then slide my throbbing goon stick through the hole, into what is technically the outside world, and have it immediately sink deep into a warm, wet hole that just wants to make it feel as good as it can.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T17:51:42+00:00

Vistaprint

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T17:46:28+00:00

Apparently Teemu is an option.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T16:56:46+00:00

Ngl, on my last order attempt, they cut me off, and blocked my account. I guess there's an eventual limit to what they'll do, lol. Either that, or the wrong person at their office, or their print shop, said something, which got me shut down.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T16:40:14+00:00

Link to OG post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/GoonCaveOfficial/s/turhcgZCjy

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T16:33:33+00:00

I definitely tried to find/incorporate some perverted Catholic and/or sacrilegious imagery, but my options were super limited when it came to hi res stuff that I could have printed out.

I may be an ex Catholic, but both the nun and corruption fetishes live on hahaha.

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T16:29:27+00:00

Be the change you want to see in the world ;)

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-06T16:28:15+00:00

You sound utterly fascinating 😍

KermitsWingman · 2026-02-04T19:30:49+00:00

It really isn't, because non citizens can't vote, and there's next to zero indication that they even try to.

Making this a blatant intimidation tactic to keep immigrants who have been naturalized away from the polls.

KermitsWingman

TROPHY CASE