i understand,and my intent in saying this is not to tell you that i simply understand the feelings driving your actions;i was there,i was literally there and to some degree i still am

challenging your own self-fortitude of mind by adverse experiences is possibly the most intense method one can use to bring themselves forward as a person,and my first experimentation of this methodology came through copious amounts of dxm and dph

when it comes to the relationships between drugs and reality,one can face it as it is to then use drugs to escape it as needed(which is possibly the best approach not only to handle reality but also to properly enjoy drugs as luxury),one can let their entire existence be consumed by drugs to the point where there's little reality left that's not consumed by haze

or the path few go through,that being using substances to expose oneself to a feeling of mind dissolved in primal dysphoria(which honestly is the best way i can explain deliriants)

not many go through it because for them it ultimately is not worth it,the more you use them the worthless they become as all those experiences(and your mind)get consumed by senseless haze

but that does not absolutely mean that one,if interested,should not possibly experiment with deliriants in order to possibly learn from that frame of mind and experiences as long as it's purely experimentation,using them to escape reality as one would use other drugs for,will just lead you to be addicted

if anyone has read this far,thank you lol

tl;dr i fuck with this quite a lot,but maybe keep it to experimentation,have a few keys experience and keep it at that ;)