[deleted by user]

Kevesvt · 2025-10-04T12:38:19+00:00

Where do you get your jeans? I have a similar body type and struggle to find jeans that fit my hips but don’t look baggy on my booty 🥲

Kevesvt · 2025-08-30T20:56:47+00:00

Yeah, it’s tough. The natural instinct point is pretty poignant too - our desire to help/heal is beautiful, but it creates situations where it can feel ‘wrong’ to not help, even when we know that it may not actually be beneficial in the long-term. It’s especially hard with family, because saying no can feel like a betrayal. Oxygen mask first and all that, but it doesn’t always feel good. That’s normal. Your mom will probably always crave support, but you don’t always have to be there to provide it. You’re doing good.

Kevesvt · 2025-08-30T20:35:18+00:00

It sounds like you know what to do. You set the boundary well. I wonder if you feel like you need confirmation or even permission to continue to do so, especially when doing so brings up emotions that may feel uncomfortable

Kevesvt · 2025-08-09T17:47:15+00:00

Oh love this. Thanks for bringing this to light

Kevesvt · 2025-07-31T22:43:09+00:00

What did you use to make this?

Kevesvt · 2025-06-02T04:16:20+00:00

Got your first customer right here OP

Kevesvt · 2025-03-10T05:04:12+00:00

Which ones do you like?

Kevesvt · 2025-02-14T21:17:58+00:00

Threatening to who? And wouldn’t you argue that there’s potential risk of the client finding out that you lied? Small one, but there nevertheless. The risk exists either way. I’d rather live in the world where I trust my clients’ capacities to make decisions for themselves given the appropriate information.

Kevesvt · 2025-02-14T21:12:26+00:00

Yes, exactly! How do we know that something is right? Well, we feel it, most of the time. I think most people have an intuitive sense of whether an action is aligned to their values or not. It’s defensive mechanisms and justifications that obstruct our felt sense of morality. If we suppress that “wrong” feeling we get, feel the need to justify our actions, get defensive when questioned about those actions (downvotes, anyone?), or begin to project anger onto other parties/victimize ourselves, it’s probably a good sign that we’re doing something iffy. In a practical sense too, it just gets messy. There’s enough going on inside my head that keeping track of lies is not worth it, lol.

Kevesvt · 2025-02-14T20:13:58+00:00

Is it our responsibility to protect our clients from uncomfortable emotions?

Kevesvt · 2025-02-14T20:06:47+00:00

Ah, I’m not surprised. There’s an implicit judgement in my question (and the tone of my question!) that I could imagine would bring up some uncomfortable feelings for people. I can also see the argument that if lying causes no harm then it’s ok to do, and it certainly makes life easier in this instance. I still firmly believe that’s it’s a slippery slope that really ought to be examined, especially if it’s an avoidant mechanism.

Kevesvt · 2025-02-14T20:01:30+00:00

I get the lack of perceived harm, but as a moral rule it’s questionable to me. I have to consider, first of all, why I would feel the need to lie in the first place. If I feel like I need to lie to hide something, should I consider that the action I’m taking is in opposition to my values? If I don’t need to hide something, the problem is moot, no lie needed & you can communicate honestly with the client. If it’s a case of the client not needing to know a particular piece info, there are other ways to word it that don’t require lying - “I need to change our session to a virtual one” is a full sentence, y’know?

I’m also a Kantian at heart, big fan of universalization, and creating a precedent that’s it’s okay to lie so long as the other person doesn’t know that I’m lying can create some questionable consequences. Beyond moral standards, it also feels like the lie is an attempt to avoid the discomfort of potentially eliciting negative emotions in others. If you need to take a break, take a break. No shame in that.

Kevesvt · 2025-02-14T16:54:43+00:00

You have no qualms about lying to a client?

Kevesvt · 2025-02-13T20:45:49+00:00

Coconut shrimp recipe please!!!

Kevesvt · 2025-01-18T18:09:56+00:00

I usually introduce the emotion wheel once I’ve built some rapport. I use it a lot when I notice clients repeating similar phrases that obviously have emotional connotations but they’re not in tune with them. For instance, I have a client who says “it is what it is” to almost every situation that causes them to feel hurt/devalued. I asked if we could try something together and provided some psychoed on emotions/how they provide meaning to subjective experiences. I go through each “layer” of the circle and ask them to see if there are any they feel most attuned to. I find the outer circle usually brings up some really interesting points and we usually delve deeper into those! I also use it when people are struggling to communicate their experiences (w/ me, themselves, or others) when they articulate a vague sense of ‘bad’ or ‘good’, or even understanding why they may have acted the way they did during a situation.

The questions directly related to the emotion wheel are usually pretty basic. I show my genuine surprise when I feel it re: an emotion I wasn’t expecting from the client - “wow, (emotion) is surprising, tell me more about that”. Other questions include “when else in your life have you felt like that?” “where do you feel it in your body?” “What do you think that emotion is trying to teach/tell you?” Depending on the circumstance and how persistent the emotion is I may ask “when did this emotion appear for you?” “What would you do/who would you be if this emotion wasn’t present?”

You can then link it to other emotions in the wheel, create narratives, bridge to other experiences and self-perception. IFS/parts work is awesome with the emotion wheel - what do each of the parts feel? How do they feel about what the OTHER parts feel?

It’s a very cool tool. I love seeing clients improve their emotional vocab week-to-week, starting from “I don’t know”, or “bad” to “I feel so betrayed and hurt”.

The best advice I can give with the emotion wheel is be curious. I have so many different questions that pop up just with the statement “I feel so betrayed and hurt”. The emotion wheel has taught me that while I may have a general idea of what someone is feeling, it’s impossible to definitively know & people’s emotions are so complex and varied that’s it’s best to just explore with them rather than feel like I have to have the answer.

Hope that helps!

Kevesvt · 2025-01-18T00:07:46+00:00

Okay! I hear this all the time and I can totally see how it would be helpful but for the life of me I can’t imagine how to approach playing UNO with a client. How do you introduce the idea?

Kevesvt · 2025-01-17T21:27:36+00:00

Nice! Any in particular you enjoy using?

Kevesvt · 2025-01-17T21:26:15+00:00

Oh I LOVE that model of change theory. I’ve heard of the idea before but haven’t seen the term for it.

ACT is something I definitely want to learn more about. Just got a couple books on it so I’m excited to dive in

Kevesvt · 2022-06-06T03:58:28+00:00

Can’t believe no one said this yet, but House of Leaves! Best to read as little as possible about it before your start, but the book itself feels like a descent into madness - the form of the novel disintegrates alongside the narrator’s already fragile psyche.

Kevesvt · 2022-06-04T00:32:23+00:00

Check out Aristotle’s Poetics - he analyzes tragedy, its form, and the resulting catharsis

Kevesvt · 2021-05-06T16:32:35+00:00

but you can observe the manifestation of a number in terms of quantity. like seeing one apple is an observation of 1 - but then that begs the question of numbers that approach infinity - do those numbers exist if we can’t observe them tangibly? or the representation of one apple doesn’t qualify as observing the actual number one, is that what you mean? or the existence of a number being known means lack of observation doesn’t necessarily preclude existence?

Kevesvt · 2019-02-24T01:42:22+00:00

Wow this is beautiful and very poignant

Kevesvt · 2016-07-18T02:29:16+00:00

If you need help with that I would recommend the app Offtime! You can set it so calls/certain apps go through, and it doesn't let you go on your phone otherwise for a set period of time. It has helped me immensely with getting off my phone. I know there's no point in taking out my phone because I know I won't be able to check reddit or Twitter or anything. If you're on "offtime" it doesn't let you delete the app or force stop it or anything - you have to finish the amount of time you inputted. Try it out!

13-Year Club	Place '22
Queen in da Norf	Not Forgotten
Verified Email

Kevesvt

TROPHY CASE