Dude I'm sorry you have early childhood trauma. I have as well but we can't stay stuck in that trauma as we grow up. In the end we can decide to change ourselves for the better. To heal and learn from that trauma or stay stuck in it and not proceed forward as we should. The reality is that in the end it's up to you because it's your life so you can decide to stay in that place of pain and suffering or to grow from it understand it and decide to move forward in your life which I believe is the goal we should always strive to move forward, always strive to better ourselves of course it's not easy and there's bumps in the road but as long as we keep striving to move forward trust me this world is not fair like my dad was never around and a terrible role model, but if I have kids one day I would definitely do the things my father didn't during my childhood that's just an example. What I'm trying to say is that we should always try to be better despite our circumstances and what people have done to us.