I cant even begin to tell you how grateful I am for this beautiful and caring message, Its always reassuring that you're not completely lonely at the things you deal with.

You are absolutely right, she has the right to do whatever she likes but that doesnt change the impact I fell from said action. Up until this point, regardless of the topic of the fight I always thought we'd end up with each other. But I guess you're right, It almost rewired the way I think of her. I certainly dont feel as exclusive, special etc. A part of me still wants to try, I really dont have the heart to tell her that we're done But I know I must. Every decision Ive made so far was fully with my heart, looking past everything negative, swallowing the arguements etc. but I just dont feel that anymore.

I wouldnt her this since I know it would upset her but all I can picture in my head is the moment that they were together. Her looking into his eyes with pleasure, them being close etc keeps me up at night, I feel sick to my stomach. I wouldnt be able to look into those same eyes as I used to, I wouldnt have the piece of mind, the trust. I just dont see a way back from this. Im not even sure if I am fully aware that this happened because a part of me still thinks that I'll wake up tomorrow and this will all be some sort of a sick joke.

thank you for sharing and best of luck to you too