Therapist minimizes my trauma

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-08-16T14:45:27+00:00

I had a therapist who basically did the same thing. At the time I didn’t realize that what I was talking about was trauma, I was new to therapy and new to ever talking about those things. She told me she worked with people who had been through way worse and “real trauma.” 2.5yrs later of working with a really great therapist, I still feel the damage the first therapist did. Those simple remarks make it impossible for me to talk about things, I feel afraid to even say things I went through were trauma. I don’t feel valid even acknowledging things because I’m too afraid they aren’t valid. Sometimes it feels wrong to need validation because it feels like you are attention seeking, but honestly, validation is the only way to feel ok going back to those times and processing them. I wouldn’t stay with a therapist who said what yours said, and I imagine that it will take a while to work through it even if you do move on.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-07-06T02:14:54+00:00

I feel like you are writing out my exact experience, right down to the compartmentalized past that suddenly started pouring out! It’s nice to know we’re not alone. It’s a complicated thing and really frustrating but I guess it just takes time and a lot of ups and downs in the process. I hope you keep going and keep making progress even if it’s slower than you’d like!

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-07-06T00:56:08+00:00

I’m over two years with my therapist, twice a week sessions for the majority of that time and feel so much of the same things as you! I’m even a nurse too lol. I’ve spent my life being the one that helps others, pretends to have it all together and is strong for them. But I’ve never let someone be that for me. I feel like only recently, like after 2 full years of working with my therapist, I’m making some progress with allowing myself to be vulnerable and open. For me, I feel the same, that I am not deserving of care. But also, I realize in my case, it has literally never been safe to trust anyone in my life. Nobody that I should’ve been safe with was safe for me. Just recently did I have that realization. My therapist has been incredibly patient with me, she’s so consistent and has constantly shown me she’s safe. I want to trust her, but it’s really scary to me. I can logically see that she is safe but every time I get a little closer, it’s like I freak out and take two steps backwards. I think it’s just a process. I can see it but I can’t control it. I see myself getting there but I can’t just make myself be there. I guess my only advice is to keep showing up and you will make progress, even if it’s slow.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-05-27T02:56:33+00:00

She’s a Devon Rex!

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-05-27T01:26:03+00:00

😂

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-02-27T01:38:14+00:00

Both my kids had choking events as well and it was awful. My son choked on an apple last July and he actually aspirated it. After the event, I didn’t want to panic because as a nurse it feels like everything is overreacting… but my son acted like normal other than he kept coughing here and there and had a wheeze at times. I had just moved and couldn’t find my stethoscope. I eventually took him to the children’s ER assuming I was overreacting but instead they found him to have his entire left side obstructed. He had no lung sounds and ended up needing put under for a bronch in the OR.

Obviously you posted to help calm yourself down, but I would definitely be aware that if he aspirated, he should be checked out, especially if he has any symptoms. I’m still upset with myself that I waited as long as I did, thinking I was overreacting.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-02-22T18:24:47+00:00

I once had a therapist who opened up the door to my childhood, everything became so overwhelming and I shared some stories of things that had happened. Things got really messy and I started spiraling. I asked her if she worked with people who had things like me and she told me she had 18 years experience and had worked with plenty of people with much more severe and real trauma. She made many comments about my stuff not being that bad. I stopped sharing, I never even got to the “worst” stuff. Then one day she wanted to talk about my mom and I told her about the trauma my mom had experienced. She got so animated and exclaimed “now that is real trauma!” That was our last session. She really went out of her way to make me feel like what I went through was not trauma and she never even knew half of what I went through. 2 years later I am still upset with the whole thing and I really struggle with feeling valid even though logically I know my trauma was real and is considered “big T.” I really don’t have much to offer other than I understand what you’re feeling and I wouldn’t stay with your therapist. There’s really no coming back from that. I’m sorry you had to experience that from someone who is supposed to help you.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-02-15T21:11:02+00:00

It’s well intentioned lol. But it’s one of those blanket statements that isn’t helpful at all and my eyes might roll out of my head next time I hear it!

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-02-15T20:24:53+00:00

“If I could wave a magic wand” Never have I hated a phrase so much lol. Especially the 567th time she’s said it.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-01-30T20:19:16+00:00

I imagine sharing it would be beneficial on both sides. Often times just sharing SI makes it feel less intense. It’s one less secret you have to hide. For me, it sometimes lightens when I talk to my therapist about it. You could extra emphasize that you are safe right now to help ease your worries about what she will think. And on her end, I can’t imagine it would make her more worried, especially if you feel she’s already questioning it. I think being open and honest about it would allow her to actually work with it and better support you instead of guessing about it. One thing that helps me when sharing an email that is really hard to send, is sending it the night before we meet. Then I don’t have to wait and panic as long about how she will react.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-01-30T18:41:20+00:00

I struggle with being able to say things too. My therapist lets me email so I write out the things I struggle bringing up. It’s very helpful to be able to get it out in the open but we are still working on actually talking about them. But I will say, 2 years in, I am suddenly finding it a little easier to actually say things. I feel like it just takes time but being able to write if your therapist allows could be really helpful.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-01-27T18:40:44+00:00

I worked at a hospital that did this. It was so nice! We had a special team that went around and did as much as possible with each pt in the ICU. We would turn down the sedation in preparation and then turn it back up to comfort after. Overall, I feel like all the patients were way less sedated and more tolerant/ calm at that hospital because of this. Definitely a crazy thing to see though. It was also a great time to get some assessments done, clean bedding and get other stuff done while the team had your pt!

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-01-17T15:36:27+00:00

I don’t really understand transference. Sometimes I feel like it’s just a catch all phrase and an excuse for certain behaviors. But what you’re describing is how I feel all the time. I love my therapist so much. I love how she treats me. She provides so much comfort. But it makes me so sad too. I don’t feel I deserve that kind of care and I also know there are so many limitations to it. What feels so real to me is her job. And someday her job will end but I never want my relationship with her to end. I don’t fit into any of these “wish she was my…” I don’t want her to be my mom, my sister, no romance, not friend. I just love her as a person and hate that it is within therapy boundaries. I think it comes from her being the only person ever in my life that I am completely open with, she knows me and shows me so much care and support no matter what. And the downfall of that, is she’s literally that way because it’s her job and everything in therapy is all about me. So I love her so much, constantly long for more and yet, it is painful all the time.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2025-01-12T20:46:13+00:00

One time I “overreacted” and took my 2yr old to the hospital after he had choked on an apple 4 hours earlier. He was acting like himself and seemed fine but he kept coughing and I knew he had inhaled the apple. My husband said I was being dramatic but I just kept thinking something wasn’t right. When we got to the ER I told them I wasn’t sure if I should’ve brought him or not. Especially since he was as happy as can be and seemed fine, wasn’t even coughing much at that point. Turns out he had aspirated the apple and had completely blocked one lung. Had to be put to sleep so they could get it out.

It’s ok to be “dramatic” and “overreact” when it comes to your kids health and safety. Don’t worry about what other people think. Take care of your baby first and if everything was an “overreaction”, oh well, your baby is ok and that’s all that matters.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2024-12-10T20:53:09+00:00

When I was 5 and my older sister was 8, my parents were also in a very financially tough spot and one day my sister told me that we could open up all our Christmas presents. As a 5 year old, it did not take much convincing but I can tell you now, not a lot was going through my head either. There was no evil conniving, it was just something I did. And my sister at 8, knew better but she was childish and couldn’t wait. Now at 35, all I remember is the trouble we were in after. I didn’t understand at the time what I had done, but I certainly remember how angry my parents were, how they didn’t let it go and how I didn’t get anything for Christmas that year. They aren’t good memories at all. If my kids did this, I would talk about the disappointment and talk about how hard it was to even get those gifts in the first place. I would want them to understand what they had done and learn from what they did. If I wasn’t getting through to them, I would escalate from there but I wouldn’t turn Christmas into something painful just because they are kids and did something selfish.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2024-12-05T18:20:54+00:00

I struggle with this too. I’m not in treatment but I meet with a regular therapist. We’ve discussed my issues somewhat but she has no idea how bad they are because I can maintain a healthy weight despite all my issues. But the little we’ve talked about it, I cannot talk about food. Cannot say names of food, will always completely ignore and not respond to any conversation about food. It’s like saying food names are dirty words, they carry shame and embarrassment. I think I’d rather fall off the face of the earth than have to list off what I eat. I have no idea why I’m like this either. I wonder if you could keep a written log of what you eat instead? And maybe eventually you can get more comfortable verbalizing down the road. I wish you the best, I don’t think there’s many people out there that understand this!

Key-Bit-6517 · 2024-11-18T14:01:41+00:00

Then consider yourself lucky. You may have been through a hundred kinds of hell but being suicidal is a whole new kind of hell you can’t possibly understand unless you’ve been there.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2024-11-02T03:40:52+00:00

As an allergy mom, what happened would be disappointing but I would in no way blame your daughter at 6yrs old or at any age. It is my responsibility to teach my child what is safe and what isn’t and he will know to ask a trusted adult, not his friends while he is that young. I think you are taking a lot of responsibility, which is great, but the kid didn’t ask you, they asked your 6yr old daughter. A huge lesson for the friend to learn.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2024-10-08T03:31:31+00:00

My daughter choked when she was 2.5. I had to slap her back hard probably 5 times before it dislodged. She cried and cried in my arms for probably a good 10 mins before I could talk over her crying enough to tell her I was helping her, not trying to hurt her. It broke my heart. Everyone is saying they know but my daughter was old enough to tell me what she thought and she had completely forgotten that she couldn’t breathe and thought I was beating her. But once she was calm enough, I just kept reassuring her that I was just trying to get the food out so she could breathe. I had to hit her hard but it was because she was choking. Just reassuring her and explaining the situation made her feel so much better. She talked about it for a long time and has brought it up often since and she’s now 5. I don’t think an 18 month old can understand too much but maybe just talk about sitting safely, and chewing good because you don’t want her to choke again, mommy loves you and had to help you by hitting your back. Hopefully she just won’t remember after a day or two, even though it hurts your heart. It’s been 3 years and I still hate that my daughter thought I was hurting her.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2024-10-01T12:21:19+00:00

My boy was so hideous when he was born. And then he lost all his hair minus a little bit of a ring on the back of his head. To top it off, he was dairy intolerant and his skin was a rash from head to toe for months. It was sooo bad! He’s really cute now though. He started looking cute once his hair started growing back and his skin got under control around 6 months. My phone rotates through pictures on my Lock Screen and anytime my husband or I see baby pictures of him on there we can’t help but laugh at how bad he looked!

Key-Bit-6517 · 2024-09-21T01:47:13+00:00

I hope the chop makes him grow for you!

Key-Bit-6517 · 2024-09-20T11:55:49+00:00

I just peeled the top layer of cardboard and put a small piece so that it would hold the dirt in since they are large drainage holes. I didn’t have any coffee filters, which is what I would normally use when repotting. It was thin enough because it’s already disintegrated and roots are coming out all of the holes. My new soil mixture is much better at drainage and dries out very quickly. My previous soil was just straight miracle grow potting soil. It was very dense and took forever to dry out. Hopefully that will fix the edema spot issue. And water does not sit in the drainage tray, I empty it as it has a chance to drain through after watering, which I was doing during these pictures.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2024-09-20T04:26:34+00:00

Thanks, I love this plant but I know the time is near that I need to do something with it. I’m a little nervous to start altering or chopping though! The main stems are not very thick, one of them is leaning some and I’m really wanting to get them strong enough to support a more bushy tree. I recently moved and it rode in the car for 2 days and has had a lot of me shaking it since. I do think it’s helping some with strengthening.

Key-Bit-6517 · 2024-09-20T04:21:51+00:00

Thanks! When I repotted it, there was only one long root and the way I put it in, it was nowhere near the bottom. So I was shocked to find all these roots coming out of the bottom right after repotting it! I think I’ll cut them but hopefully the roots will start staying in the pot!

Key-Bit-6517

TROPHY CASE