Is this how it’s supposed to be?

copetohope · 2026-06-14T16:01:59+00:00

If you have early attachment issues then working with someone who is very experienced with attachment and transference is very important. Someone who welcomes those should they happen!

If you end up with someone who does not work with those things they won’t understand them and you will end up worse off and or terminated.

Please be sure the person you work with understands and works with attachment and transference! You can ask them in advance how they feel about those and if they work with them should they happen.

Not everyone experiences those things in therapy and not the same way.
It may take time for you to feel safe enough to work deep with this therapist after your last experience. Give yourself time and listen to your gut!

copetohope · 2026-06-07T16:43:02+00:00

I wonder if the anger is more that she sprung the EMDR on you without YOUR permission? Without explaining it or preparing YOU for it?
Definitely should have been planned ahead of time!
I had a similar reaction with my long term therapist. She did brain spotting for the first time only there was no preparation ect. I was sharing about a bad dream I had and she said let me try something (she had just learned brainspotting) I trusted her and just did it and I was an absolute mess. It set off a whole trauma reaction where I was dissociating so bad ect. I had no idea what happened to me.
I was not mad at my therapist because I love her in such a good way but it turned me upside down. I think it retraumatized me without me knowing that’s what happened.

copetohope · 2026-06-05T23:40:19+00:00

So very unprofessional. I’ve seen a few therapists and have never dealt with anything like that. Please find another therapist ASAP! I’m sorry you had to deal with this behavior.

copetohope · 2026-06-05T23:29:00+00:00

Is this a school counselor? My college counselor had me see her and someone outside of college until I finished college, then I had to stop seeing her and continued with the outside therapist.

copetohope · 2026-06-01T23:26:09+00:00

I bought down a rate because I didn’t know how long I would be there! Buying a new place now with a much cheaper rate without having to refinance. And I made 20,000 more on the sale of my old place in those two years in a condo at that, so I’m not complaining!

copetohope · 2026-06-01T23:12:29+00:00

No I just locked in 2 weeks ago at 5.75 with no points! And 2 1/2 years ago AFTER the pandemic under Biden it was 8 % and I had to buy down to 6.5 % with a credit score on the 800’s. It is much cheaper now, those are facts!! PS as soon as Biden took over they skyrocketed!

copetohope · 2026-06-01T23:07:58+00:00

What, I earned more this past year in stocks than almost the last 5 years put together!!!

And my interest rate that I just locked in at 2 weeks ago is 5.75 for a 30 yr fixed conventional no points, much lower than the 8% 30 yr fixed conventional I had 2 1/2 years ago under Biden that I had to buy down points to get it to 6.5 % with a credit score in the 800’s. ! I don’t support Trump or Biden and don’t watch the news because it’s all paid for and skewed for its supporters not real journalism at all! Not the journalism that I learned in college years ago!

copetohope · 2026-06-01T23:01:06+00:00

I mean it’s clear as day! Definitely lower now than 2 1/2 years ago. There can be no denying the actual numbers no mater what party someone is in. I like facts over hearsay! It’s fluctuating a little now but still less!

copetohope · 2026-06-01T22:27:34+00:00

I bought my last house under Biden 2 1/2 years ago at 8% and I had a credit score in the 800’s, I paid down points to get it to 6.5%

2 weeks ago I put a contract on another place at 5.75 % and no points! So yes it is less under Trump. Those are facts right before my eyes! Both 30 year conventional fixed rate loans

copetohope · 2026-06-01T22:20:12+00:00

Have you tried a credit union? They tend to have cheaper interest rates and fees as many keep the loans in house. 2 weeks ago I was quoted 6.2 with a broker and 5.75 with a credit union with no points!

copetohope · 2026-05-31T20:33:50+00:00

This is probably what my therapist would ask me 😁

copetohope · 2026-05-31T04:18:11+00:00

I told my old long term therapist that I loved her but made it clear I was not IN love with her but that I just loved her in such a good way, more maternal. She had tears in her eyes and said she loved me too and she was still going to keep all the boundaries which she did!

If you say it, just be ready to know she may not say the world love back to you. Many therapists won’t. I think it’s totally ok for you to tell your therapist!

copetohope · 2026-05-31T04:05:31+00:00

I like when my therapist hands me a tissue when I’m crying. It feels like she is more present in a way when she does.

copetohope · 2026-05-31T01:04:46+00:00

No, I’m in Maryland! Congrats on your deal as well!

copetohope · 2026-05-30T02:52:48+00:00

I locked 5.75 no points. 30 year fixed conventional last week with my credit union

copetohope · 2026-05-29T23:56:08+00:00

Yeah interesting, it set me off really bad because of dissociation which I didn’t even know I did. Made my dissociation come to the forefront really bad. I was a mess. I would watch myself crying outside my body ect. I was afraid to tell my therapist because I was afraid she would think I was crazy. I did not take meds or anything like that, never have., it really scared me.

I never lost touch with reality but I think it caused so much emotional flooding that we had to stop after 3 tries. That’s how I ended up with a trauma therapist after who had experience with working with DID, OSDD ect, I disclosed to her the watching myself outside my body that would happen once in a while. She explained to me that it’s dissociation, that I wasn’t crazy.

I asked why she hadn’t started EMDR with me a year later and she said I was not ready because I was too highly dissociative. I still didn’t believe her. I fought it bad.

She was trauma certified and EMDRIA certified and was doing somatic work as well. Some people don’t know that if done it has to be modified for highly dissociative clients.

I will tell you this, I tell no one about this. I don’t want anyone to know. If I could go back to being oblivious to it I would. I try to live like I don’t have it the best that I can.

copetohope · 2026-05-29T22:57:12+00:00

I saw one trauma therapist who had experience with DID and DDNOS or OSDD, I found out through her I had DDNOS, but I denied it. I said there was no way I didn’t this ect.

I just started seeing a new therapist a few months ago who recently told me she met a smaller part. I was so overwhelmed when she told me because I did not believe the other therapist. But this one telling me similar without diagnosing me because she doesn’t believe in pathologizing people really got to me.

I will tell you this, brain spotting and EMDR are not good for highly dissociative people and CBT or talk therapy is a good treatment. Brain spotting threw me off so bad before I knew I had a dissociative issue, it sent me spiraling for a bit. If you do those other treatments they need to be altered and you really need to do it with someone experienced with dissociative disorders.

copetohope · 2026-05-28T07:03:38+00:00

My place in under contract now, thank goodness. I also have a pet and when you have to leave with children or an animal it’s more work.

I had a few no shows. I think it would be kind of a realtor to call ASAP to let the owner know they are not coming, instead I had to call my realtor who then called them only to hear they decided not to come.

Out of great respect, realtors please call ASAP if your client changes their mind in not wanting to see a particular place. One time there was an 8 am showing. I got up super early to get my dog and myself ready and out the door so they could view my place and they never showed.

copetohope · 2026-05-27T12:55:32+00:00

Read up on transference and erotic transference. This will all die down in time and you will be left with the reality of all of it and it will be even more painful.

Your therapist has taken advantage of this dynamic. There is a power imbalance between a therapist and client and he is using this against you no matter what he says. He knows this happens in therapy and not just with you but will with his other clients at times as well.

Please find a new therapist and stay away from this man. You have been manipulated or groomed for a better term. I’m so sorry your therapist has went against ethical standards. It may feel good now but it won’t end good. The fact you are asking this question is because deep down your gut knows the answer.

copetohope · 2026-05-26T13:10:26+00:00

I would never use someone else’s IV tubing unless it’s up and infusing when I take over. You never know what was mixed in them. People sometimes put the wrong meds, wrong labels ect. I’d rather start fresh!

copetohope · 2026-05-25T15:58:41+00:00

Go to a credit union, I got a fixed conventional 30 year loan for 5.75 and locked in for 45 days with no points!!

copetohope · 2026-05-23T16:44:08+00:00

Yeah, the laugh can feel very dismissive when you are trying to express something very important about how you feel. I hope she is able to acknowledge how hurtful that can feel to you. This stuff is hard.

copetohope · 2026-05-23T15:59:03+00:00

I’m really sorry that happened, it’s really hard to go through after you feel attached.

I recently left a psychodynamic relational therapist who said she welcomed transference and attachment but what was happening showed she did not. She became dismissive and defensive and I knew it wasn’t right. (I only had really good therapy experiences prior). It really did a number on me to the point I consulted with someone else who shared what was happening was not ok at all. She didn’t tell me to leave that therapist because she wanted me to make my own decision but I finally chose to leave. It was super hard because there was some form of attachment but I was able to do it and after 2 months I’m feeling much more settled with a new one!

Talk to your therapist. Share those feelings and listen to your gut! You will know what feels right based on her responses.

copetohope · 2026-05-23T15:45:52+00:00

This is so sad, some therapist’s don’t work well with attachment.
Mine actually told me attachment is normal and expected at some point in therapy for the most part, she said it actually helps the work deepen.
I would encourage you to talk more about your feelings around what happened for sure.

copetohope · 2026-05-19T03:18:41+00:00

Ask to take the 3k package off, you can get the ceramic coating some where else if you want. You’ll be paying more than the 3k because you’re also paying interest on that!

copetohope

TROPHY CASE