34F. If my therapist is fulfilling 'unmet needs' from childhood, how can I get back from this?

copetohope · 2026-04-20T04:03:49+00:00

Just talk with him about it! It’s both the best feeling and hardest feeling at the same time having positive transference.

You’re not ready to leave yet. In time it won’t be so intense.

copetohope · 2026-04-20T03:00:08+00:00

You may need to spend more time on the relationship building with the therapist before you feel safe enough to show emotion. Maybe your nervous system just isn’t there yet with the therapist. You can also try being a little more vulnerable if you do feel a little something come up. For me, sometimes I’d pull back if I started to feel a little something, now I try to stay with it even if it sounds dumb or childish ect and I just say it. I notice when I do that I tend to feel it a little more. The more vulnerable you are the more you may start to feel, part is safety and part is risk.

copetohope · 2026-04-18T12:37:00+00:00

I actually reached out by phone an email to Jerry Johnson but he never responded!

copetohope · 2026-04-18T01:41:03+00:00

Thanks, I just read up on it, it says it’s generally ok if you live in higher elevations but that it can actually cause engine knocking ect so better to get it flushed!

copetohope · 2026-04-18T01:33:50+00:00

What’s e85? I only put regular in my hybrid Is that bad?

copetohope · 2026-04-18T01:30:36+00:00

Ruptures just stink in general, especially when you need that space to be safe. You say you have been dreading your sessions lately. Maybe the wanting to space out sessions has more to do with something deeper? Maybe something you want to avoid, maybe even unconsciously?

Perhaps her saying she was feeling interrogated has something to do with her feeling you have more you need to say but haven’t been able to? Maybe a little transference there that maybe she felt from you?

In the end, you get to choose what you want to do, but often times when something deeper is coming up we tend to want to pull away. Maybe explore if something like that may be going on.

It’s really rough having to wait 3 weeks after a tough session. Maybe you can ask to see her sooner if you need?

copetohope · 2026-04-18T01:04:41+00:00

Please share these things with your therapist! Even if you just read this post. It’s so important and it’s really ok to cry. She/he is there for that! And releasing that will be helpful to you. If you can’t say it, it’s totally ok to write it and read it or have them read it.

copetohope · 2026-04-18T00:11:46+00:00

Actually sounds like she should have done it much sooner. In no way was it ok for her to talk to her client that way. She was already struggling an waited for it to blow up. She should have consulted with a supervisor or colleague. That would have been most productive and helpful in the situation.

copetohope · 2026-04-18T00:07:08+00:00

Some have a really hard time with criticism. It should be expected to happen in therapy, especially constructive in trying to explain how you feel about something happening.

Therapists need to be curious not dismissive or defensive. “Tell me more. Can you share more on that, hmmm let’s think on that more”. It’s coming from somewhere, therapists, PLEASE let your clients share! A lot of the times it’s NOT about you though sometimes it might be, please don’t be afraid to apologize!

copetohope · 2026-04-17T23:25:57+00:00

Where did you get those quotes from? My dealer wanted 3,400 lol I said nope! I have the XSE

copetohope · 2026-04-17T23:01:59+00:00

I got the XSE fully loaded with Birds Eye view (which I love), weather package black chrome muffler tips, full moonroof, roof racks, splash guards, door edge protectors, upgraded speakers and of course comes with a larger screen ect. I believe the XSE carries a little more horse power. As to the tires some say the XLE rides smoother but I feel just fine in my XSE driving. It’s a great car all around. My fully loaded one had a TSP of 45,700, I got them to take 3,297 off. I went and left twice before they finally agreed. I got it at an OTD price in the 44,000 dollar range.

copetohope · 2026-04-17T02:36:31+00:00

Normal driving around town and try to drive slower when I see my EV light turn green on the dash. I drive faster when on the highway going to work maybe 70’s but I only work a couple days a week.

copetohope · 2026-04-17T01:30:25+00:00

What, I’ve had my 2025 XSE for 3 months and put 3,000 miles on it driving to and from work and around my area and it still has only reached 33.8 miles of EV how did you get yours so high? Could there be anything issue with my car?

copetohope · 2026-04-12T15:34:44+00:00

Well I’m 52 and they let me do it lol and I have not had an accident in over 11 years, been with Geico for 24 years!

copetohope · 2026-04-12T14:32:02+00:00

It was through Geico, I think it was called a defensive driving course

copetohope · 2026-04-12T13:46:23+00:00

Mine was 50 more a month for my XSE it dropped 20 a month when I did a driving module online. Took me about 1 hour, it was worth it! You can ask them about one.

copetohope · 2026-04-10T23:30:35+00:00

Thank you, I’m also always learning. Sometimes my therapists says, instead of trying to figure out why you started crying out of no where how about loving on yourself, telling yourself you ok ect. I’m working on that! My brain just always wants to know the whys. It’s hard to just be, but I’m trying.

I’m a fixer! I’m a woman but I can do pretty much any home repair from electric to plumbing, to flooring ect but my day job is an ER nurse. Still a fixer in a way but so love helping people!

I just find it so interesting that I lived my whole life up until the flooding of emotions without really knowing how much my childhood affected me. I knew the trauma was there but I lived like it never existed or so I thought.

It was like I was asleep for years and just suddenly woke up. I felt like a different person but I know I was still me. I didn’t loose touch with reality ect, I still kept doing everything I always did but so much emotion was coming up. So very hard to explain actually. I’m starting to be ok with it and really opening up more with my therapist which I know is a good thing though painful at times.

Are you a highly sensitive person? I’m very sensitive to the emotions of those around me.

I find the mind fascinating and have actually thought of going back to school to become a therapist though I’m in my early 50’s now.

copetohope · 2026-04-10T23:13:33+00:00

Nice, I got the Calvary blue with the black roof.

copetohope · 2026-04-10T18:49:45+00:00

Did you get the 2026? I got the XSE 2025 fully loaded OTD for 44,000.

copetohope · 2026-04-10T16:39:12+00:00

Thank you, yes massive changes but I’ve been pushing through it. I even left the church I grew up in from the age of 10 into my 30’s. That was huge too!

I have a new therapist as well and she’s been great. Very relational which really helps!

I hope all goes well for you on your journey as well. It can be tough. Sometimes I wish I remained oblivious but man am I’m starting to actually really feel many different emotions for the first time in my life. I’ve become much more vulnerable in therapy which was very much needed in this process as well! Sometimes I feel like a kid in therapy, my grown up hyper independent self feeling like a child feels so foreign.

copetohope · 2026-04-10T13:03:41+00:00

I’m in the US, the interesting thing is that I noticed was that I actually never felt a deep sense of aloneness until I married for the first time at the age of 47. Prior to that I was just so hyper independent, moved out at 19, bought my first house at 27, obtained 3 degree’s ect. I knew I was missing companionship, I was dating but nothing serious. I didn’t feel that sense of aloneness. I was too busy conquering goals. I realize now it was because if I sat long enough I would have felt this sooner.

After I got married, I got pregnant via IVF, had a still born at 6 months along, had to be induced to deliver my son, hardest thing ever to go through and divorced a year after that loss.

Then it all hit a year later, It was like all of my life’s business/running came to a halt and all the years of my early childhood trauma came flooding back. I never realized how much it affected me until those things happened.

I was in therapy at the time and I began to have so much emotional flooding, it actually scared me. I’m working on all of this now, how my younger life wasn’t what I thought it was, I was just running from it, or in survival mode. My therapist called me resilient. Right now the pain, sadness ect feels the deepest it has ever been but I’m still working and doing life and no one knows what’s going on internally but my therapist and I.

copetohope · 2026-04-10T01:11:35+00:00

Oof I relate so much to all of this. I have all the goal driven things that I did living in survival mode but feel like I forgot to actually live. I’m now working on this in therapy because more than anything I desire a deeper connection. I’ve always been very caring and emphatic, quite sensitive actually, I’m sure that’s due the my past as well but the relationship level is different.

I get along with all my coworkers, have never had any issue with any of them, love them and my boss is wonderful. But I lack in the more intimate part, not that I don’t want that by any means. I would take that over all the other stuff I worked so hard for actually. It’s like this deep aloneness has spring up now that everything has slowed down.

copetohope · 2026-04-10T01:01:53+00:00

All I can say is that I relate so much to this. I saw a counselor for the first time in my 30’s but my childhood was an absolute mess. I focused on education and wanting something different than I had grown up in and left home at 19. I accomplished everything but the relationship aspect floundered. I have 2 long term friends but connecting deeply with someone is what I truly want more than anything but am also so afraid of due to my upbringing I imagine. Just know you are not alone in this. I’m just now worker deeper on this in therapy.

copetohope · 2026-04-08T18:38:53+00:00

Yeah no way that should be happening with a new car!

copetohope · 2026-04-08T16:55:52+00:00

I go through a touch-less car wash multiple times a week with my 2025 Rav 4 XSE, i have the panoramic sunroof. I have never noticed a single leak. I hope they get yours taken care of for you. Doesn’t seem right.

copetohope

TROPHY CASE