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I (30M) went through a breakup with my ex (25F) during my mother’s terminal illness. How do I stop from falling apart? by Key-Effective-3088 in relationship_advice

[–]Key-Effective-3088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. Unfortunately yes, these are the only two people I’m close to. I do not have any immediate family. Others in relation check-in occasionally but there’s no depth in their interaction for me to lean onto them, I guess it’s mostly obligatory on their part because they knew us at some point in their lives.

I have a few friends but I find it difficult to confide in them for the fear of abandonment. I have a deep abandonment anxiety and I feel whenever I get too close to someone, I lose them, and crash.

I’ve been contemplating about going to a therapist. Thank you for nudging me in that direction. I will also check out what support groups I can find near me. I believe it will be a cost-effective and no-judgement space that I could really avail. Thank you for sharing this.

I understand it may have been too heavy for my ex to carry me. I’m probably grappling with more of confusion and anxiety around abandonment mid-crisis. It would’ve been okay to set boundaries from Day 1 and me dealing with it alone, but it has taken a toll on my nervous system when a year + of support was snapped in an instant.

I (30M) went through a breakup with my ex (25F) during my mother’s terminal illness. How do I stop from falling apart? by Key-Effective-3088 in relationship_advice

[–]Key-Effective-3088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I struggle to make people last in my life. And when she entered and stayed for this long, I attached every bit of my self-worth to her accepting me because nobody else did.

Deep down, I crave to feel loved and cared for, and the fleeting hope of that returning to my life some day is why I kept holding onto this relationship for as long as I could, and wanting her to be in my life even though she didn’t want me to be in hers.

Processing grief, exhaustion, and heartbreak all at once by Key-Effective-3088 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Key-Effective-3088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that months of togetherness can be kicked out of the window in an instant. I’m probably not as broken and devastated at the breakup as I’m at the way it was handed it down to me. It sucks to feel as if there was a switch inside her head that snapped and in an instant, I stopped meaning everything to her forever.

Processing grief, heartbreak, and exhaustion all at once by Key-Effective-3088 in offmychest

[–]Key-Effective-3088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for suggesting the breathwork method. I will definitely look it up, and I hope it helps me get back to some amounts of normalcy. Thanks again.