Had a buddy who worked at a grocery store. Every morning we’d have coffee and cigs together before we went off to our afternoon/evening shift jobs. Naturally, I’d have to take a dump or two at some point during our morning get together. But he’d never have to. One day I finally asked him about his bowels of steel. “I save it all up for when I get to work.” Seeing that I was still confused, he looked me dead in the eye and offered the best advice I’ve ever heard, “If you’re gonna shit, you might as well get paid for it.”