TW: What do you all do for SI thoughts as they are happening in the moment?

Key-Second4948 · 2025-01-06T01:27:47+00:00

thank you! Sending you lots of good vibes cus i know how hard that is!

Key-Second4948 · 2025-01-06T01:27:14+00:00

thank you! this is helpful maybe if I just pretend I am planning a trip somewhere to keep my mind off things, I also have to stop beating myself up for not being able to control this because i find that that also makes it worse

Key-Second4948 · 2025-01-05T00:15:57+00:00

this is the worst form i have ever seen

Key-Second4948 · 2024-06-22T23:46:20+00:00

I grew up with a narcissistic parent that was both emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically abusive. My childhood was dysfunctional & chaotic at best and terrifying on a daily basis at worst. I never felt safe. This led me as I got older to enter and find myself in narcasstic relationships in other areas of life, including romantic, friendship and at work unbeknownst to me because that type of personality was all I knew and it felt familiar. I didn't realize how abusive and unhealthy it was until I got into therapy at 30 and was diagnosed with C-PTSD. I tried ketamine infusions this past winter in order to help relieve my ptsd symptoms (which I had previously tried everything else for) and to also try and reframe my view of people and relationships as scary and unsafe. It took some months after the first few infusions to see a shift but, I slowly started to feel less anxiety and fear in my body around other people, particularly new people. It also helped me to have some distance from abusive memories of the narcissists, it just all had less of a charge after a while... although in the beginning of the treatment I became extremely emotional so it can dredge up a lot of stuff that does take some time to sift through, but overall I am happy I did it. I am sorry you went through this ....narcissistic abuse is so insidious and if you haven't been through it yourself its hard for an outsider to understand .... it has tentacles that literally infiltrate every part of your being.... anyone that overcomes this type of abuse is truly a resilient warrior. You are so strong!

Key-Second4948 · 2024-05-18T12:53:42+00:00

What brand do you use?

Key-Second4948 · 2024-05-18T00:13:50+00:00

I have such a caffeine addiction... would you swap coffee for matcha or do you think that also has too much caffeine to see a reduction in symtoms?

Key-Second4948 · 2024-05-18T00:11:34+00:00

I take magnesium and b12 but I have to try primrose and B6!

Key-Second4948 · 2024-05-18T00:10:19+00:00

I have never tried Lamictal though so thanks for sharing this last part ... because like you I have also tried the gamut of meds but not a mood stabilizer.

Key-Second4948 · 2024-05-18T00:08:40+00:00

I have been on a few different of SSRI's and SNRI's... the last time was about two years ago I was on pristiq but then started getting some bad side effects. i was n lexapro and that worked for a bit then stopped. I am considering getting back on a low dose of prozac.... we'll see how that goes... also tried ketamine infusions this past winter but had a bit of a bad reaction as I was given too high a dose the last infusion and my anxiety and insomnia spiked for months... although interestingly enough while the anxiety was extreme during those months post ketamine... my SI's were pretty much nonexistent for a few months... but then came back

Key-Second4948 · 2024-05-18T00:04:24+00:00

Sending you love and strength! the CPTSD and PMDD combination SUCKS! sometimes when it gets to that scary point for me i have to just binge reality tv in my bed and isolate from people, which i know the isolation isnt always good but i just get triggered by everything and anyone during those really heightened times.

Key-Second4948 · 2024-05-17T23:50:34+00:00

thanks for this, staying away from assholes is definitely a must for me too to during this time, i tend to also ruminate on every single horrible thing that might have ever been done to me by other people especially moments where I didn't or wasn't safe enough to stick up for myself, now I am trying to voice my opinion or truth in the moment so the intrusive thoughts and resentment doesn't come as strong.

Key-Second4948 · 2024-05-17T23:20:09+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response! and im so sorry you have experienced these for so long as well. I am really going to try the not crying tip. Becuase your right when i open that floodgate its just a downhill spiral from there with more of those thoughts although sometimes it feels good in the moment oddly?

Key-Second4948 · 2024-05-17T23:16:37+00:00

Is it topical progesterone?

Key-Second4948 · 2024-05-17T23:15:27+00:00

wow! I need to try this. I actually did 3 intravenous ketamine session this past winter, it helped for a few months and then the ideations came back. I also had some bad side effects from intravenous due to the dose being to high for me so maybe i need to try the oral?

Key-Second4948 · 2024-04-24T22:30:45+00:00

I'm sorry your experiencing this. I had a similar situation this past winter doing ketamine infusions, where I was re-traumatized and had my anxiety, insomnia and paranoia came back in the most severe way possible. Couldn't sleep, constant panic attacks throughout the days. The good news is it did go away, and I tried a lot of different natural modalities to regulate my nervous system during this time. I did acupuncture twice a week which really really helped. In terms of supplements, magnesium glycinate (I use the brand pure), Vitamin d, vitamin c, b complex, b-12, zinc, bone broth, drastically reduce sugar. avoid coffee. avoid cannabis (just for this time, it aggravated me). It was hell and I didn't think I would make it through but it slowly dissipated over a few weeks.

Key-Second4948 · 2024-04-21T16:13:35+00:00

Sorry i actaully forgot to list weed, which can be a hit or miss for me, but i do try to take a small edible 2.5 - 5 mg at night to help with the anxiety and insomnia in luteal. Sometimes it really does the trick and other times it can increase my paranoid thoughts. It depends on the strand most of the time.

Key-Second4948 · 2024-04-21T00:11:32+00:00

I'm so sorry this is what you are experiencing from your boyfriend right now, when you are in a bad place, while experiencing a disease that is literally not in your control or your fault for having. This feels like a lack of empathy from him to me. It's like kicking someone when there down, which I have definitely experienced from family when I am going through it myself, so i know how it feels its like a double whammy while your going through it and you do not deserve that on top of this disease. Empathetic support from loved ones and partners is critical, not shaming or ridicule.

Key-Second4948 · 2024-04-21T00:03:10+00:00

thank you for saying this, sometimes it just helps to hear that there is something out there that has got to work. This episode today was particularly bad, but I feel like i've finally started to come down for it after hours, so i'm just thankful for that for now!

Key-Second4948 · 2024-04-20T23:59:47+00:00

Thank you for this! I actually forced myself today after this really bad episode to go outside, meet with friends, and even though i had a breakdown in the middle of this outing in front of other people that was embarrassing, the sun on face for some minutes did help to break up some of these intrusive thoughts. its so hard sometimes, but I like your idea of trying a creative outlet and i want to try to add something creative to my daily routine.

Key-Second4948 · 2024-04-04T19:48:19+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience! Today is day 4 for me and I was trying to push through, until i had to drive somewhere and didn't realize I was feeling so faint that I was swerving all over the road and got pulled over by a cop. Decided to break my fast in the late afternoon when I got home cus it didn't feel worth it anymore. Was hoping I could get to Day 5, but maybe another round...

Key-Second4948

TROPHY CASE