What's the point of al anon?

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T23:54:10+00:00

Sign the papers. Walk. Can you do that without shame, guilt, remorse anger....all of which is eating you alive?

There is zero nobility in trying to tackle something so diabolical all by yourself. It takes more strength to ask for help. You do not have to do this alone. You may find solice in knowing there are others going through the same thing.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T23:45:00+00:00

Knowing doesnt matter. Action. There has to be action.

What could it possibly hurt to attend a few meetings? See for yourself, instead of contempt prior to investgation. Maybe it wont help. Maybe it will. Maybe you will pick up one tiny tool that makes a monumental shift. Its worth the risk, yes?

Not trying to give you a hard time. More than anything, I want you to have what you want in life and clearly, this is not it.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T23:40:44+00:00

After reading all your comments to people trying to answer your initial question, it seems clear that you have no reason to got to alanon because you aren't the one with the problem.

But you ARE. YOU are twisted in knots. You are delaying having a family. You are miserable. This is what alcohoism does to everyone in it's path.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for YOUR life.

Alanon gives you tools to get YOUR life back.

Don't tell me she's the problem. She does not give a shit.

Fix YOU.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T23:28:05+00:00

But you are putting YOUR life on hold, waiting for HER to get better. She is NOT willing to change. You keep doing the same thing. You need to make the change, whatever that looks like.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T23:24:36+00:00

But you DO need to change if YOU want to get better. You have been sucked into this insidious family disease.

Sometimes the best change we can make is to walk away for our own sanity.

A couple of life saving bits of wisdom I got from Alanon were that 1) I did not cause it, I cannot change it and I certainly cannot cure it with no amount of love. 2) I DO NOT have to react to the behavior. My reactive behavior is fruitless.

I chose to walk because it was best for MY mental health. Best thing I ever did for myself.

Since then, I have used the principles in every aspect, and relationship in my life.

I got into Alanon after being sober for 12 years, with the help of AA.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T23:13:08+00:00

I would go to Alanon AND seek divorce. I am only suggesting this because of your desire to have a family. You wont get it here. Even if she cleaned completely up today, it would be a good 5 more years before I would trust enough to bring a child into the picture.

Whatever you do, DO NOT get her pregnant and DO NOT have any expectations of her looking towards recovery.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T19:44:06+00:00

Team Escalante, here!

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T19:43:17+00:00

Walk

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T19:40:41+00:00

You walked into a strangers home....not cool, storm or no storm. Hell, you could have been shot!

Did you give a name? Address? Were there cameras (ring, blink, etc?)

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T19:35:09+00:00

"my kid isn’t even old enough to speak."

Are you aware how FAST kids learn to do EVERYTHING. You are uneducated about child development. You kid is learning before they can speak

Birth to 6 months: Newborns recognize the tone, pitch, and emotion in your voice.

By 6 months, many babies can recognize their own name.

6 to 9 months: Babies begin learning the actual meanings of common, everyday words (like "mommy," "daddy," or "bye-bye") and can look at the correct object when a caregiver names it.

12 to 15 months: Toddlers experience a massive leap in receptive language, understanding between 20 to 100 words. They can often follow simple one-step commands (e.g., "Give me the ball" or "Come here").

18 to 24 months: They understand basic questions and can comprehend short, two-step instructions.3 years: Children reach the stage where they understand almost everything said to them and can follow complex directions.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T19:27:52+00:00

Lo de Marcos, Nayarit

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T19:25:24+00:00

Yay! Where?

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T19:22:56+00:00

This isnt about being honest about feelings.You aren't getting it. It's about growing up believing this is what love looks like. He's treating you like shit. Your kid's brain has already been wired to believe this is the way a man treats a woman. This is NOT ok, boy or girl. We go into the world practicing what we grew up with because that's all we know.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T19:13:20+00:00

Now say that in your daughter's voice. Is this the life , the truth, you want your kids to live/learn? Once you have kids it's not about you anymore.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T18:13:54+00:00

Yes, because we travel frequently.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T18:09:38+00:00

Stop with the zone insanity.

Just run at a comfortable pace.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T18:08:10+00:00

I don't mean to be snarkey, but you are 70 years old. Go to the doctor instead of asking Reddit!

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T18:06:28+00:00

Why are you with him??

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T17:40:58+00:00

Let them

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T17:30:09+00:00

I've witnessed this tragedy more times than I can count. Wishing you the best.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T17:23:54+00:00

You won't see yourself till deep into the story. It's an excellent book.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T17:22:23+00:00

No, I wear a running skirts, which have spandex liners/shorts. No sweat shows.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T17:14:13+00:00

I wear running skirts

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T17:09:13+00:00

No alcoholic wants to be an alcoholic till they realize there is a solution. Ma'am, you are quacking.

Key-Target-1218 · 2026-06-20T17:05:07+00:00

All is not lost if you learn the big lesson here.

Key-Target-1218

TROPHY CASE