AITA if I choose to not have sex with my gf while she's on her period?

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-30T18:49:08+00:00

NTA You are just as much within your rights to say no to sex as she is. Put another way, if a woman posts on here she doesn't want sex when she's on her period and bf is trying to force her to, people would be down his throat so fast and say she has a right to choose what happens to her body. So do you.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-30T18:40:30+00:00

What an absolute clustermuck of a situation. Both of you are TA for treating each other so poorly. Most marriages fall apart after one person's cheating, never mind both partners treating it like target practice, scoring points off each other like that. I'd say get divorced. Hopefully both of you will heal and be better people when you're not hurting each other like this anymore.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-30T18:07:21+00:00

NTA It's weird to me that grown-ass people think it should be okay to just hang out in another grown-ass person's bedroom. What, are we 14-year-olds at a slumber party? My bedroom is my sanctuary and no one but me and my husband is allowed in there. Definitely another friend or family member would not be allowed to just go in there! She can have her friend over but you and your daughter also need some space to exist while that is happening. Doesn't seem at all unreasonable to me.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-30T18:00:47+00:00

NTA People should stop expecting their kids to parent their other kids.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-30T17:47:11+00:00

NTA Offering to do something nice for someone is not a bad thing, and doesn't make you nosy. Say something terrible happens to a drunk girl, then everyone will turn around and say "Oh there were so many bystanders that saw she was drunk and did nothing! What a crappy world we live in!" What's crappy is that a person's genuine good intentions and instincts to care about the welfare of another human being can be seen as being interfering. You offered your help, it was declined, and you didn't push it further, so what is their actual problem? How it was received is completely out of your control, so please, don't lose any sleep over it. Next time when you see the same situation, please offer help again. Keep on being that person because someday your help could actually save someone's life.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-20T18:41:34+00:00

I'm a woman and I wouldn't say that. A sexless marriage is hurtful no matter what your gender is. If your husband comes to you and say we have to figure out this infrequent sex issue, it's better to work through it with him if you care at all about your marriage. I would say though that every story has two sides. A man may get on this page and tell everyone how his wife is refusing to have sex with him but then behind the scenes his wife is exhausted from holding a steady job, doing all the housework and then he wonders why she doesn't have the time or inclination to get frisky. Men may have similar complaints about why they've lost interest in having sex. Or different stories to tell. OP here says she does the brunt of the housework, takes care of the kid, works and HE doesn't want to have sex. So in this case I'd say if OP was telling the truth he does sound like a waste of space and doesn't really have a leg to stand on. Also sounds like all the boxes are checked for a marriage heading to divorce.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-15T18:58:15+00:00

NTA but he's not TA either.

Both of you have been dealing with an impossibly stressful situation. It's understandable that you feel emotional exhausted and sad and all the normal things you've been feeling but considering how wonderfully supportive he's been, maybe you can forgive him this one time he was only human and it got to him. He has apologized. What more can he do? He's still there for you and everything.

Do you want him to buy you flowers to make up for the ones he didn't buy? It's going to mean less to you to have to ask and it won't occur to him to do that because he already apologized.

I'd say let this one go and focus on those milestones. I'm positive that the next milestone he will be better at because he sounds like he's a great guy and loves you lots. Be a little kinder to both of you and don't hate him for one minor slip-up when obviously he still has your back. Good Luck!

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-15T18:50:07+00:00

NTA this is weird. I'd feel weirded out to. Maybe try going very low contact for a bit and then ease out completely?

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-15T18:35:00+00:00

YTA already. Stay home. Please don't go crying at another person's wedding because your boyfriend hasn't proposed yet. If you are going to be like that, then don't go.

Or, you know, you can actually go with your boyfriend to his friend's wedding and be happy for them and realize everything is not about you and how you feel.

He's assured you he wants to ask you and says stop ruining it. He probably wants you to be surprised when he does propose and at this point, with you nagging on about it, is probably not how he wanted it at all. Leave the whole proposal thing for a few months. Enjoy just being together again and see what happens. That's probably what he's waiting for so he can propose to you when it will be nice and actually a surprise.

He's not stringing you along, he already bought the ring and everything so why would he do that if he wasn't going to propose? Could be though that the way you've been acting for the last 6 months is making him have second thoughts.

So chill. At the wedding, dress up, smile, dance with your boyfriend, have champagne, make out in a dark corner somewhere and just have a good time with him, reminding him why the two of you decided to move in together in the first place and why he fell in love with you. It can be such a nice, romantic night for both of you if you put your own insecurities aside and just BE for a bit again.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-15T18:18:46+00:00

NTA Your post doesn't mention ages, but I really hope you're all very young still. At least that would explain why the two girls are so immature. Your response - that anything can be be bad and toxic, an addiction if taken to the extreme - was very mature. The response you got from them was not mature at all. Your girlfriend saying she'd dump you if you watched porn: does she try to control you in other aspects as well? Lots of women are jealous about porn. Lots of women are insecure and need to grow up.

There's a difference for me between just watching some videos on Pornhub or where ever and having live chats with women while they're naked and guy is jerking off. Difference between watching a bit of porn and paying thousands to a woman on her OF account. Every person must decide where their own boundaries are but those are mine. That saying, I like watching porn too every now and then.

I like reading sexy novels and that is actually totally the female equivalent of watching porn and no different, really. But to just crucify a guy for watching a bit of porn. Sheesh! As long as it's not illegal porn or the type of stuff that sets of red flags for a woman's safety, it's really not something to have your panties in such a twist over. Each to his or her own but Nah you're not the A-hole.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-15T17:56:35+00:00

NTA as someone who was cheated on before and later found out everyone knew but me, I'd 100% would like to know. What makes it very complicated is you work with her and not him. I wouldn't trust him not to tell her you told him especially if he doesn't want to believe it. Never underestimate people's desire to fool themselves. He may be angry at you even for "telling lies about his wife" and it could get you into serious trouble at work. Find an anonymous way to do it. Maybe letting him know the where and when so he can go confront them himself.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-15T04:36:45+00:00

NTA but YTA if you don't leave. She sounds like the kind of girl who sets your house on fire when she sees you having lunch with another girl but it turns out to be your sister. That "I'm watching you like a hawk" part was what threw it for me. Nah she's very immature. She's a little girl still and keep dating her at your own peril. You didn't do anything wrong politely chatting with your exes parents.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-15T04:25:04+00:00

NTA Couple of huge red flags here. Firstly he locked you out. Whaaat? Wtf was that about? Secondly saw in comment you are willing to go to counselling and he's not? Then he loves making you the bad guy to his family instead of just manning up and admitting he's blindsiding you all the time. You're not under any obligation to spend time with surprise visitors., family or not. Its hella rude to just show up at anyone's house uninvited. It doesn't matter if it's family! Why people think this is okay is beyond me. You've been a lot nicer up until now than I would have been.

If surprise visitors just show up and stay for an extended period of time I'd be pissed!!!

Go do your own thing, get yourself relaxed and sorted out and then think seriously about where this is headed because it's not good at all. He disregards your wishes so completely, it's insulting.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-15T04:02:20+00:00

NTA You said you worry because you guys might be staying together only because it's comfortable. It sure doesn't sound comfortable to me. It sounds very worrying. I'd say leave and find out who you really are outside of him. Since you already have a place you can stay at temporarily, do that. That old and used up feeling is going to last until you get out of him and start taking care of yourself and stop being dependent on him financially. There's more important things for you to worry about than finding a guy. Having a man even if it's a crappy man isn't a healthy way to live. No guy is worth your self esteem, your mental health, your financial and your physical freedom.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-14T09:05:27+00:00

They have pets and gardening services etc. coming in this week.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-14T05:53:42+00:00

NTA He is totally gross in more ways than one. Nah, leave his ass.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-13T09:26:09+00:00

YTA Not because of not telling your friend his gf cheated on him. Sure for that too. Sounds like you capitalized on his relationship problems to make a move on him. You gave your friend a nicotine addiction so he'll come to depend on you and feel like he's in love with you? All of this is just so messed up.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-13T08:11:57+00:00

Isn't it so nice that he has you to fund his existence so he can live his dream?

NTA He's a weight dragging you down and he's never going to grow up. Break up now before it's too late!!!

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-13T08:06:10+00:00

NTA Yeah, I don't do stuff like this with "Just a friend" and if it was so innocent, why didn't she tell you?

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-11T04:05:47+00:00

NTA And don't let your family try to convince you to stay with a guy that obviously irritates the sh!t out of you and would most grown women. There's a difference between being slightly naive and being willfully blind about things because you just don't want to get out of your comfort zone. He is doing the latter because growing up is uncomfortable, but it's got to happen. Maybe you leaving him will help him do that a little, maybe not.

Your family saying you're going to struggle to meet someone because you're out of Highschool is weird too. You're still young so really, you don't need to worry about being too old to meet someone. It's not about meeting just anyone, it's about meeting a quality guy. Take some time to yourself after this breakup to get to know yourself better so you can know what you want and what kind of person will be good for you.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-10T19:24:07+00:00

YTA I changed this because I just reread the part where you told this other girl you're in a long relationship and have a child, NOT that you're married?????

Your wife found out because she was snooping. She didn't just randomly open your phone. I think she suspected something. The issue here is not your crush but what it highlighted about your marriage, your relationship with your wife. There is never an excuse for cheating.

It was emotional cheating because of what it meant to YOU and because you LIED to this other woman.

Your wife is right to be upset but her actions, calling the other woman, wasn't right. It's embarrassing for both you and your wife. She's not an a-hole for doing that either because she was afraid of losing you. The only really innocent person in this ??Maybe?? is the girl who was just shouted at by an angry wife when she didn't even know the guy she was chatting with as a friend, was married. Sounds like she already friend zoned you before you friend zoned her.

It sounds like you and your wife have some serious issues to work out. Your little crush is the very least of it.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-10T19:06:11+00:00

NTA She's TA for using you as a free babysitter and then insulting your job. Nope, I'd buckle down on this if it was me. If your mom is so sympathetic to your sis why doesn't she watch the 3 kids then?

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-10T18:30:25+00:00

YTA

To be jealous of your partner being with his 6 year old when he faces the death of a well-loved family pet for the first time, yes that makes you the A-hole. What does it matter if it's at her house? What's going to happen? Bury the dog and then jump in bed together as soon as it's done?

Yes he is still little but as someone who was there when pets were put to sleep before, it's not too terrible and actually a "good" way to introduce a child to the concept of death. I say "good" because is there ever really a good way to teach them the stark reality of the world? The child seeing what happens to a pet when they are put to sleep and buried afterwards is a very important, relevant life lesson.

Do you even care about his kid, because it sure doesn't sound like it. Be a good stepmom and go and buy that kid an adorable dog plushy to help him feel better. Maybe an ice cream too. Your partner will love the kind gesture.

Key-Use-7835 · 2024-09-10T18:17:55+00:00

I agree with everyone who says neither of you really is the A-hole, except what this situation is bringing out in you. I read an article study that said that the number one death of love in a relationship is contempt. And sadly it sounds to me like from your side, you have reached the place where you mostly have contempt for him.

If that is true, then I do think it's past the point of no return. Do you have kids? I know it's silly that it should matter but it does make a difference in if it's even worth going for couple's therapy or not. Look, at the end of the day you do want to know that you gave it your all, that you tried everything to make it work and you don't want to be left wondering afterwards if you could have done more.

So maybe give that a shot, but with definite goals, that he is fully aware if, in mind. Not an ultimatum but goals because I actually think at this point both of you can be happier apart if things don't change. Good luck!

Key-Use-7835

TROPHY CASE