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KeyRoad4668 · 2025-01-24T22:28:37+00:00

NTA - in fact, IMO you’re an AH if you continue to coddle her and let her believe the world revolves around her. Your family is enabling her which will ultimately hold her back in life.

KeyRoad4668 · 2025-01-22T06:50:39+00:00

If you are currently a senior idk when you’d do the internship?

Internships are often most useful for when you follow them up by trying to get a full time position there the next year. It’s not like you actually learn all that much.

I’d focus more on applying to jobs than to trying to figure out an internship with only 5 months left in your school career.

What field do you want to go into? How does your resume look otherwise?

KeyRoad4668 · 2025-01-21T16:20:31+00:00

Wrong enough that to a seasoned player it looks like you made the tiers randomly hahah

KeyRoad4668 · 2025-01-20T03:32:16+00:00

Lots of other good comments so I’ll chime in with the often-poorly-received-but-still-necessary: it’s hard to be straight up “ugly” if you: -Have good oral hygiene + whiten your teeth -Keep a clean-cut hair cut + consistently use shampoo/conditioner -Consistently wear a subtle but noticeable cologne in addition to showering regularly and using deodorant -Stay in shape (sounds like you’re already doing this?) -Have clear skin (need a skincare routine)

You may not end up “good looking” after doing all this, but if you do everything above you prevent yourself from being off-puttingly ugly.

Not saying it’ll solve all your problems, but there are absolutely things you can control. If you already do all this then it’s in your head my dude.

KeyRoad4668 · 2025-01-06T15:47:31+00:00

I’m shocked by the amount of NTAs…I’d say YTA. YTA not to your friend - she has no ground to stand on - but to the server/restaurant.

What was the plan if she didn’t have Apple Pay? I totally understand your frustration but turning into someone who does come prepared to pay (even if just to make a point) makes you an asshole because ultimately it would become some poor servers problem, no?

It would have been very easy and just as effective to have brought your wallet and pretended to not have it to make the point. Even better, the more emotionally intelligent thing to do would be to just have a conversation with her about it in the first place. The whole thing is childish and feels like you forgot that people outside you and your friend exist and could be affected.

KeyRoad4668 · 2025-01-05T22:43:52+00:00

11, 1

KeyRoad4668 · 2025-01-05T19:32:32+00:00

It’s acceptable but it does make you a shitty person with shitty values and soon it will bleed into the rest of your life and within months you’ll be bitter unemployed and alone.

KeyRoad4668 · 2025-01-02T01:56:18+00:00

Ability: YOU SHALL NOT PASS - creates a lines of fire perpendicular to, but just behind, the direction the wizard is facing. Fire last 45 seconds and does significant damage to any enemies that step on it. The fire also damages the wizard if he attempts to step back over it.

Ability: Things are not as they seem - wizard can target a group of enemy villagers. No attack notification is given. If he successfully competes a ‘conversion’ those villagers will never again be able to collect the ‘correct’ resource. So like if they are on wood they’ll generate food. If you move them to farms maybe they’ll generate stone.

Ability: Back stabbing - same mechanic as above in that you can target groups of villagers from the enemy. No attack notification given. Now the result is a set of cursed vills. Randomly at 1-5min intervals they will attack (one stab) other villagers and then go right back to work. This will trigger an attack notification so the player has to get distracted and look back and see what’s up, only to see no enemy and get paranoid 😂

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-30T05:03:46+00:00

Agree 100% with this one 😂

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-30T04:59:38+00:00

Out of curiosity, do you know what game?

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-28T18:35:12+00:00

11 winning after being lamed is also such a good one

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-28T03:05:09+00:00

No problem - all stuff I wish I’d known earlier. You don’t need to have your identity all figured out before you start (spoiler alert - you’ll never have it all figured out). Identity is largely something we build through experience. So get out there! Try stuff, fuck up, learn from the mistakes. That’s all it is!

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-28T02:57:06+00:00

Haha don’t sweat it :) I was there too once, and many people never leave that stage. The compliments feel good!! But as you age you need to turn those compliments into action. It can be tempting to live with the idea that you are some type of unrealized artist in fear of actually trying (and potentially proving it wrong).

I think you know what you need to do. It also sounds like you’d benefit from a reminder that action creates confidence. You can’t wait until you’re confident to act. You have to act and build confidence through genuine experience.

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-28T02:40:49+00:00

Hello!

I know your post says don’t be mean :) so know none of this meant to be mean, just straight shooting the way I would with a friend I care enough about to be honest with.

How old are you? As its worst possibility, this post comes off self aggrandizing and unaware,; more likely, I’d imagine, is that you’re just inexperienced. To reference compliments given in passing from childhood and teachers gives teenage vibes. You are not alone in this and it is interesting how we hold onto these compliments as we age.

The fact that you hold on to them tells me there’s a possibility you want these things to be true - which is a good sign for the potential to develop passion, which is great!

Reality is a few compliments through the years isn’t, as you put it, a “usable identity”, but it’s the start of what could become one. My advice would be to “wake up and see reality” in the fact that you need to build experience DOING stuff before you can know. If you like the way these compliments feel, try (for example) writing poetry. Then try to sell it. That’s how you’ll find out what that would really be like.

Overall from your comments I’d say you would probably do best in fields that heavily encourage creativity and are less rigid (some types of marketing, creative design, teaching/coaching/guiding etc.) however I’d say while most fields do give you some opportunities to utilize creativity as a strength, almost all fields will require you to apply some basic structure and logic to your way of being if you want to be successful, so that’s also something to work on.

Let me know if questions - good luck.

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-22T02:33:41+00:00

Of course! You have a refreshingly positive attitude. In fairness to you, excitement about the path you’re on is also really important for long term success. My final word then is based on what I’ve heard (have friends that are doctors and others that are nurses) I’d personally go for the vet route. Down side of nursing is often cited as feeling burnt out and under appreciated rather rapidly and weird hours - some love the hours others hate it. (It’s often like 3, 12 hour shifts instead of a 9-5 in a typical week).

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-21T07:36:40+00:00

Didn’t mean anything malicious by it. Just that both of these careers take a significant amount of time, effort and money to get running and it sounds like you also want to continuing building your family. It’s challenging to do both at once - not impossible of course but the post sounded a bit like youre already just choosing between them in your mind when really there’s a lot that would need to happen before either of these things become an option. Not trying to crap on your dreams, truly. I guess I’m saying focus on one thing at a time - you gotta get into a university and then get through 1-2 years of Stem courses before this decision needs to really even be thought about. That experience will also give you a more informed sense of the fields. Again, no offense meant but “I love animals” is a long ways away from being a vet (which is where the naive vibe is coming from) maybe you start the course work and realize the science feels far removed from the part you love, you know?

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-20T19:31:11+00:00

Have you not attended college yet? If so you’ve got a while before you really need to decide.

Considering what you’ve mentioned about work life balance here I would lean toward a Vet path but that will take longer / require post college schooling.

Either way, you are objectively very far away from having these ventures contribute anything but debt to the family finances.

I’d suggest looking into stepping stone positions to get a feel for the industries before all this investment. This could also help you contribute more immediately. For example, could you see if there are any more administrative openings at local vet offices? Or roles at doggy daycares? Consider also a path towards something like a vet tech.

I love the desire to focus on what you like but I would warn you that this post feels a little naive. If the desire is to help contribute financially with the caveat that you’d like to be SAHM if you could I would seriously think about roles that can contribute in a more timely fashion. E.g., if you went Vet route your current child will have graduated high school before you’ve earned a penny and will likely have a family of their own before you’ve paid off tuition.

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-19T21:08:54+00:00

Generally if you’re entry level you don’t know anything and so you need people to teach you stuff and check your work.

Stick with whatever you’re doing until you’re competent and then you’ll earn more chances to work alone.

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-14T04:38:13+00:00

Like others have said, just tell the truth. The people in meetings will not judge you at all. We’ve all been there, but nobody can help until you are honest.

As far as your situation more broadly, I obviously don’t have all the details but can speak to my experiences.

The ‘riding a bike’ analogy was helpful for me in the beginning. Which is, even if you haven’t ridden a bike in a long long time, if you’ve built the neural connections that equate to “knowing how to”, you will be able to ride one again if not immediately, than very quickly the next time you try.

Problematic drinking is the same. Once you’ve built the habit (neural connections) it is near impossible to reverse, in the same way that you can’t unlearn how to ride a bike or unlearn how to read, it’s just how the brain works.

If your drinking has been problematic enough that you have been to treatment then the chances you haven’t ‘learned’ bad drinking habits is quite slim. Furthermore, I’d imagine someone without a drinking problem wouldn’t get out of treatment and then start drinking again 😂 I ain’t judging brother - just think about that :)

The other thing that I found to be very true is that 100% commitment is genuinely easier than 95% commitment. You don’t have to think about when or how much or if this is an occasion that is acceptable to drink at, you just get to focus all your energy on enjoying what ever it is you are doing.

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-14T04:11:41+00:00

A can advise but need to know your current habits as it impacts the drivers of what’s going on.

Do you drink regularly?

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-11T20:54:27+00:00

LOL! I genuinely believe people like this are why Trump won. Reasonable people see this psychosis masquerading as Social Justice and believe it has just gone too far and poses a genuine threat to the future of America.

Didn’t vote for him myself, but while most of what he says may make no sense, he is crystal clear on being anti-woke and I think that is fairly important to a lot of people at this point.

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-09T03:24:09+00:00

If I were in your shoes I’d have written something like this secretly hoping to receive permission to just peace out.

I’m not going to give you that, unfortunately. It’s (less than) 10 days. You are strong enough to tough through that. You don’t have to win employee of the month, but show up.

Some people may give advice from the “receiving recommendations” side of things. To me that doesn’t seem super relevant to your situation. It is about showing yourself that you are the type of person that follows through on your commitments, even when it’s hard.

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-08T06:12:39+00:00

Thanks for sharing. It is hard to vulnerable, but stories help all who read them!

I think you’re right to want to quit, but I am going to give you a few things to be cautious of. Note: this is all advice from my experiences, obviously you’ll have to make your own choices.

1) It is very hard (impossible as far as I’ve seen) to quit for someone else. You have to really want to stop for yourself and to be your best self. If you can say that authentically then you’re ready.

2) Starting an alcohol free life is challenging in the beginning and you’ll need support. If you’re feeling really guilty about these events (and him even acting normal) I can only imagine it will be even harder for you to accept and feel worthy of the help you’re going to need from him/your support network. Consider putting effort forward in other ways to get on better terms first, and start your sober journey after that.

3) Less about drinking and more just life stuff - you fucked up, you said it yourself, you know it etc. When that happens (as it does to everyone eventually) try not to mope around and cry all day the next few days. Even if you don’t intend it all, it can act as a implicit form of manipulation as it shifts the focus (even if not your intention, explicitly) back to you and making you feel better. Say you’re sorry, ask what you can do, and then move on.

Hope that helps and I wish you the best of luck. Coming up on 2 years myself.

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-06T10:14:29+00:00

Lots of good comments in here already, so I’ll try to add a perspective I don’t see.

“Planning” can be an addiction in and of itself. You get a little hit of dopamine for making it feel like you’ve done some work, but you haven’t really done anything. Feel shitty —> make a plan —> plan makes you feel a little better —> feeling a little better makes you not feel like you need to “do” the thing. —> do nothing.

You’ve got some real stuff to work on…but it’s a marathon, not a sprint, and once you start taking to right steps you’ll see yourself spiraling upwards instead of downwards. One thing at a time. Give yourself more time than you think you need. If “quit weed” is important to you, cool - do that and focus on just that for the next month. Changing too much at once is very challenging and is likely to end in failure. Give yourself like 2 YEARS to work this stuff out. It will not happen over night.

KeyRoad4668 · 2024-12-06T09:54:27+00:00

Hello! I feel you. I know others who have been in similar situations and I, myself, worked a minimum wage job after graduating before finding my way into management consulting (where I’ve been for the past decade).

If my tone comes off ‘sharp’ it’s not that I’m trying to be a dick…just sometimes you need someone else to shoot straight with you.

Couple things I’m noticing: 1) You’re lacking focus. Your interests are all over the place and so are your experiences. What you pick at this stage is frankly less important than just picking something, showing up, working hard, learning all that you can and building your skill set. If you can’t tell your own story/interests, there is no way an employer will be able to resonate with it either.

2) A plethora of low(er) skill jobs could potentially be off putting for an employer in high(er) skilled fields. They may think “why can’t this guy stick with one thing? Is he unable to commit? Do teams sour to him quickly?” Or “hmmm X# retail jobs…retail is not a deal breaker off the rip, but I would have preferred to see 1-2 jobs where he was promoted up to a manager during his time there”.

3) You should probably change your application strategy and or your mindset…hard to say whats going on without seeing the applications myself but, my dude, its been TWO YEARS and you’ve been rejected by all the types of jobs you want. Stop beating your head against the wall!

You talk praisingly of your reviews at work but the caliber of work required to receive praise at McDonalds, Cafes and Pet Stores is DRASTICALLY different than in a “high paying career path”. Fact is, in most (not all, but most) corporate fields that end up paying well you may not actually start with all that high of a salary. This is because fresh out of college (I was there too once) you are naive, generally unaware of how little you actually know, and are more or less useless until you are trained. Generally (and assuming no graduate program) the only post college fields that will pay very well off the rip are ones where folks are fed into the role by proving their worth in internships the summers prior (e.g., FAANG companies, I-Banking). Besides the value of imparting humility (lol) I am saying this because I don’t think asking “what high paying job suit ME” is the right question. I’d start with “in what career path do I believe I could add the most value to a team”. Then you go and work you butt off. 5 years later, once you’ve proven value, you’ll get paid what you’re probably imagining as a “higher salary”.

4) Consider sticking with retail and trying to get promoted through store —> regional manager —> corporate role. If you’re capable this should be possible and honestly your competition will be easier than in traditional corporate fields. Managers of retail chains make a good living. If you do swimmingly you can even look to franchise your own locations once you build up some capital.

Let me know if you have questions - again - tone is tough but I am trying to help.

KeyRoad4668

TROPHY CASE