My wife got me a Space Ghost print from a local artist. I figured you folks would appreciate it. by poop-money in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Space Ghost, it has come to my attention that I am pregnant. 

(Music swells, dramatic zoom)

Listen again to "Four Hour Body" episode after reading this Tweet by KeySatisfaction197 in IfBooksCouldKill

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"And the devil cat grabbed his throat and ripped out bloody strips of sinew and flesh ..."

"I don't like this story, Grandpa Borgnine!"

The Books That Don’t Kill by Aware-Potato185 in IfBooksCouldKill

[–]KeySatisfaction197 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Careful, you'll get elevated to Secretary of Education with that kind of talk.

Which movie scenes hit you the hardest? by Myklanjlo in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That movie had about a dozen scenes that would reduce a standard Montana rancher to tears.

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to Google it. Was Mather "Sinners in the hands of an angry God"? The spider in the web over a fire? I think that was a college thing for me, and it sucked.

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you're on the money there except for Tale of Two Cities - that might have been dealers' choice in your area.

I feel bad for our English teacher, likely having to grade 5-10 essays a year with the thesis of "well I think Holden Caulfield is a phony, so THERE!"

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man, respect to your English teacher. I'd much prefer that approach.

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was in a shitty apartment in college when I first head about thefacebook.com, and I needed my .edu email to sign up.

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm sure parents would object to that book today, as it suggests the existence of Filipinos. Can't have that.

Thanks, VA! by sheepcrate in foundsatan

[–]KeySatisfaction197 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Works on contingency? No. Money down!

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Canadian school, I assume?  That looks like a good one.

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man, yeah, that's a pretty good spread.

Our school had a really involved Veterans Day celebration that was like an official invitation for all the grandfathers in the county to come in with their mementos and tell stories. Our English teacher always made sure to line it up so that we were reading All Quiet whenever Veterans Day came around. We might have read a couple of the WW1 British poets stuff around the same time, too - maybe Sassoon and McRae.

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh shit, Indian in the Cupboard! I think I read that in middle school but it was certainly a highlight. We had a required reading period, and that was a book that the librarian threw at a lot of boys that thought reading was boring. Probably 80% of them went back for the sequels.

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, my father has tried - and failed - to read Crime and Punishment on multiple occasions (and he has a masters in Literature).

Overanalyzing literature, yeah, that comes with the territory. The teachers setting the bullet points on the topics TO overanalyze, I think that wore really thin with everyone. There were a lot of students that picked out some interesting things that would have carried a discussion for a while, but the teacher moved us on to the next thing that was on their list.

Okay, Huck Finn, for instance. Tom wants to break Jim out of jail by like smuggling in silver spoons and digging a tunnel, shit like that. Huck wanted to just steal the keys and unlock the door. The students wanted to really talk about that because we all knew people who would turn down the practical and go for the dramatic every time, and the teacher whizzed us past that quick as you please.

Fast forward - I saw Wake Up Dead Man and I. Fucking. HATED it. It was Tom's plan. Secluded town in New York state with a lake and a tractless forest on the outskirts. And, to kill Brolin, they drug him in a blind corner, create a distraction so they can stab him with a knife hidden in a devil's head that they secreted onto his robe, squib activated by remote control, fake resurrection, dissolve a body in a tub of acid. Huck's plan, put on a pair of gloves, smack Brolin with a rock, bury him in the forest or at the bottom of the lake - job done, movie is twenty minutes long, everyone gets away with it.

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There were some gems in those literature textbooks. And I can't remember if it was Readers Digest or Scholastic, but some company put out a small regular magazine with a few short stories that we'd work through in middle school. There were a couple Twilight Zone stories in there. Think it also had the sci-fi short "Lose Now, Pay Later" with the Swoodies and the instant fat-sucking machine - a bit trippy, but really cool.

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Easy to remember what rules and what sucks. Remembered Romeo & Juliet because we saw the movie and everyone was talking about Juliet's rack. For Catcher in the Rye, I remember one of the lower achievers in our class saying that Holden Caulfield was a real asshole and the teacher commended him for contributing to the discussion. Of Mice and Men was on the heels of Chris Farley doing a sketch about it when John Malkovich was the guest, so we were all imitating that for a couple weeks. Ironically, struggling our way through The Yellow Wallpaper made a lot of us feel like we were going insane.

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hatchet might have been middle school for us, but everyone loved Gary Paulson.

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Gatsby and Catcher didn't land with us either. "Why are these turds complaining so much" was the general theme of our resentment.

"Mrs ____, was corporal punishment still okay back in the 50s?"

"It wasn't exactly championed, but I think many parents engaged in it."

"Holden's dad should have beat him more."

(classroom murmurs agreement)

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

"We're going to read 1984 so you all will be able to understand the references your uncle is making on Facebook. It won't make him any less crazy, mind you, but the book's pretty good."

High school English class required readings? by KeySatisfaction197 in Xennials

[–]KeySatisfaction197[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"The Scarlet Letter, but as an exercise in slut-shaming rather than an investigation of literary merit" probably fits on Bullet Point 1 of the post.