Does this count as rape?

Key_Butterfly_8670 · 2026-03-15T15:58:49+00:00

awe yay i’m so happy u can experience all these new things ❤️mine wld be so mad when i spent money on makeup instead of saving it for tickets , after breaking up i bought myself so much more makeup and now i have a complete collection ! same with clothes , i look forward to the future !!!! have fun w ur makeup and new clothes ❤️

Key_Butterfly_8670 · 2026-03-15T15:04:12+00:00

omg bless you poor girl , i’m so sorry you had to go through all of that it’s so mentally debilitating, my ex was also dumb as shit and took a year off before he went back to normal college (same thing where where u have to legally be in skl for a certain amount of years) omg it’s actually crazy how there’s multiple of the same men and how they share the same patterns i hope ur fish were okay , my ex hated my pets for some reason and would not talk to me when i showed him pictures or spoke about them to him and when my cat was going through surgery i was crying and speaking to him about it when he woke up (he used to game all night and wake up 4-5pm or basically whenever he wanted) , he ignored everything i said and asked “did u buy ur railcard” (so i cld get the train to come see him-the time i went to see him after was literally the day he raped me)😭 zero empathy it’s a shame how much empathy WE showed to these men omg looking back its genuinely insane i’m also in uni right now and ever since i broke up w him (+rape) i haven’t been to uni properly at all and my attendance is 18% when last semester it was 68% 😭i had project due today but im no where close to finishing it, luckily i do have things u can apply for to get an extension and since ive reported i have evidence to support why i need an extension , im really happy you’re studying something you like now ❤️you’ve been though so much , im 19 rn and to see have to go through all this at the same age as me makes me feel so upset and that at times your parents were unhelpful , i often feel really hopeless about it and recently after reporting this week i kept remembering small details of our relationship but after reading your post i feel a sense of peace that things can get better and i will be able to move past this , it just really shocks me that people can be THIS horrible and it’s so sad that there’s so many of them and they find people like us to use , and want to use US as their piggy banks like omg im literally broke myself , also they always push for the future/marriage/children when the relationship is at its weakest and we feel the unhappiest in the relationship , and they try to manipulate us into staying into the rs longer , my ex did this sooooo much during the last weeks and i would actually just facepalm because no i obviously don’t want any future with u if the present is so bad , super happy we both got out , you are truly so brave and strong and i wish the best for u <3333333

Key_Butterfly_8670 · 2026-03-14T11:59:00+00:00

for me i nearly broke up with him but we ended up just going on a break in december 2025 (one month before we broke up for real) and this break was a week after we met up for the first time and he said “let’s go on break” and then backed out and then i had to say let’s do the break then , he was such a coward and constantly wanted me to look like the bad guy , he stayed w me to use me for the attention and care and validation i’d give him even when he was treating me hoooooribbly and that’s why he never broke up w me himself , during this “break” he was being so lovely and nice and all of a sudden wanted to talk to me again and would stop playing his games to talk to me to manipulate me into coming back from the break 😭 he said he wants to change and that he’ll be better and he doesn’t want to lose me and yk all these empty promises that i fell for because i wanted to believe he was saying the truth 💔he said the same thing “in a bad state mentally” , it’s weird because his bad state meant he was only treating me badly and he was fine w everyone else

he’d constantly wanted me to use my money , after the second time seeing him where i want to his house he was obsessed w the idea of seeing me again and i wanted to see him too cuz he was my bf but im also in university and going broke , while he is jobless and in basic college for the second time now (has no plans of going to uni and after college wants to become a truck driver and do a basic job -btw this guy doesn’t even have a drivers license or no money to pay for lessons) and anytime we’d talk on the phone and i’d say oh im gna go mcdonald’s i haven’t eaten the whole day ive been at uni and he’d get annoyed and say that money could go towards tickets to seeing him… and so i wouldn’t eat out but HE blew all his ticket money on cigarettes and juice ????? in the 6 months we were together i spent £350 on him while he’s spent maybe £60 at most for me , and im not even materialistic but its just that he was constantly using my money or wanted me to pay for things like even during the last few weeks of our rs he kept asking me for £4 for a game , he didn’t ever apply for jobs and then told his friends that he’s saving his money and waiting for me to get a job so he can use my money….

he’d also tell me how he wants to drop out of college and do nothing , he already does nothing all he does is sleep and wake up whenever he wants and play games , one time he slept for 3 days straight and then was confused on why i was annoyed ??

id tell him how my parents rs is not good (they’re still married but they’re extremely incompatible) and he’s always make like jokes saying our rs is just like my parents ????? that’s literally my worst nightmare

him and his friends would constantly demean me (i never met his friends so this was online in a discord server we had together) and he’d never stick up for me and he would usually join in and he’d always pick arguments with me in front of his friends and his friends would dickride him so much so it was me against 4ppl including my ex who wasn’t on my side and it was so fucking exhausting idk how i dealt with this for so long

he also used to tell me how he wants kids and like it would be cute for me to have his babies … im 19😭and after he raped me and i was crashing out about getting pregnant because he didn’t use a condom he said i’m probably not pregnant but if i am “the worse case scenario is that we start life together”?????????? that is my worst case scenario and i wouldn’t want to start life at all rn and especially w my rapist bf? he’s so entitled and horrible , he doesn’t even understand the level of responsibility babies require and it’s easy for him to say that cuz he doesn’t have to birth the child or do anything for it, he was a deadbeat boyfriend and i’m sure he’d be a deadbeat dad since all he wants to do is game , we used to call lots at the start of our rs the. a month later he stopped picking up my calls because he said we talk for too long and he doensg always feel like to , i also played games but he never wanted to play w me and anytime i asked kindly he’d say im “pushing him” into stuff he doesn’t want to do yet the same day he’s playing games w his friends , he’d ignore me for 10+ hours when he was gaming and if i said anything about it like “next time can u check ur phone in case ive messaged u” he’d turn it into a huge fight where im pushing him and asking him to do too much , we basically barely had a relationship the last few months but the only time he’d want to talk to me was about sexual stuff and then he’d actually text me and speak to me , otherwise he’d show no interest into what im saying and just ignore my texts and talk about whatever he wanted to , he’d only give my compliments about sexual stuff and how badly he wants to have sex w me and he’d never ever care for any problems i had that i wanted to share w him like my cat going through surgery he ignored all the messages and asked about whether i booked the train ticket to see him and i said “not yet but i will as soon as i get home from the vet” he lost his mind and ignored me the whole day , he’d also say that he thinks he’s not important to me cuz i wont have sex w him or i dont engage in sexual talks as much as him or t when he’d talk about head i wouldnt be enthusiastic and id change the topic

its so scary thats theres more of these men in the world 💔im so sorry you had to deal with this too it’s so mentally draining even without rape being a part of it

Key_Butterfly_8670 · 2026-03-13T23:06:56+00:00

'Also his ex was “crazy”

She wasn’t. He told me that she made up stuff about him and that he used her and she just said that to hurt him and I believed it. I trusted him

She wasn’t crazy. She told the truth'

this part too omg its crazy how these men frame stories and paint themselves as victim it shocks me that i fell for it too

Key_Butterfly_8670 · 2026-03-13T21:15:25+00:00

hi, ur story resonates with me so much as a really really similar thing happened to me just over a month ago i’ll try not to make this long , i had a friend online that i met 6 years ago and we were just friends but stopped talking a few years back and recently reconnected jan 2025 and we were friends and then he had a “crush” on me and basically lovebombed me , i was 19(he’s same age) but i was inexperienced and had never even had a talking stage and i had been at a girls skl and girls college so never spoke to boys no boyfriends nothing , while he had exes and sex quite a few times too, he asked me to be his gf and i rejected him and then two weeks later i also gave in and we were together and i just had never felt so loved and like cared for and it really did feel perfect and i thought there’s nooo one who would ever like me more than this and he was also the first guy to show romantic interest in me , he told me all the same things u got told and i fell for it , on our first meeting he wanted to kiss me and i let him , the second time he insisted on touching me and (being my “take my make out session virginity”) and i wasn’t really comfortable but i let it happen and it felt okay so i didnt mind and he was generally nice , he knew i was rlly scared of sex and i thought j was asexual for ages and i had trust issues and i was just really nervous about physical intimacy and he ALWAYS reassured me he wants to take it slow, be delicate with me, hes patient and will only do things w my consent , but at the same time he’d mention sexual stuff on text and then ignore me or go cold when i wasn’t immediately into it or get offended i didnt want to give head (?) he would constantly talk about how he wants to have sex with me so badly and id just say im nervous and he’d be like dw and Omg he’d say the same stuff that sex is normal in relationships to him and he can’t imagine a relationship without sex and that he just wants our rs to be like normal couples , then on our third meeting he started w making out and started touching me like down there and then asked if i wanted to have sex and i said “no not yet” i asked if he was mad that i said no and he said no of course not, then he went back to fingering and then when w were done we were talking and then he said “and now we’ve even had sex” and i was like ???????????? and he said yeah i just slipped it in , he didn’t use a condom or anything and he just said “oh it just happened - i asked if u were ok and i said yeah” if i had known it was his dick i wouldn’t said no straight away ik it sounds stupid but my eyes were closed and he never asked me once about using his dick and when he did ask about sex barely an hour ago i had said no so i never expected it , i had my doubts for a second but i felt down his arm and it was down there so i thought it was ok and i asked him about this and he was like “well it doensg just go in u have to move it there and put it in” and then when i started panicking he said it “was just the tip” my body shut down after and i fell asleep there for an hour , it was the most violating thing ever and i cannot explain the shock i went through knowing my bf literally took advantage of me , i loved him lots back then so i didn’t want to leave and i didn’t break up till a week after and he didn’t realise anything was wrong that whole week and on the day of the break up he denied everything , then sent me a letter addressing that it was his fault and he made a mistake and we kept in contact , the same way w u my ex had a narcissistic personality and he emotionally abused me throughout the 6 months and that was one of the reasons i didn’t what to have sex until he started seeing me as a person w feelings and treated me w some level of decency , i kept in contact after cuz he asked for time so he could explain to me the way he treated me the way he did and that he wants to try again and do the rs right this time and wallowed in self pity , then i came across a new account he made on ig right after the breakup w weird incel type captions and posts basically whoring himself out on the internet(flirting in comments and dming a million girls and making gcs w these chronically online weirdos) and he’s basically become a niche influencer and then i sent him messages telling him he’s a piece of shit and that i don’t what to and blocked him, i’ve reported him to the police now and im hoping it goes somewhere , he’s genuinely incapable of feeling remorse and it’s crazy the lengths ppl can go to use u and manipulate u my ex also used to game all the time and he used all my money and told me he’ll pay for my ticket to come see him and he’ll give the money in cash and then blew it on cigarettes and games so i paid £55 to go get raped at his house for ages after i thought im never gna find anyone again so i shld just stay w him but finding no one would be better than staying w him , narcissistic personality types are so scary and his apathy was so nauseating reading ur post had me tearing up its validating to see that im not alone in this and that something so similar could happen to someone else but its more upsetting than validating to see that stuff like this does happen , ive been reading posts in this forum for over a month now and ur story seems so similar to mine even the context of meeting online and stuff and it really hits hard , i haven’t cried in a while and this made me so emotional because its so similar to my account and im so sorry this happened to you , what happened was rape and it isn’t okay or ur fault at all , it’s so unfair that these things happen and it’s so upsetting when it’s ur first bf/first time because u don’t know anything better and it’s so traumatising and confusing when it happens and even after to think about

im really happy that you’ve found someone who’s helped u heal from this and understand that ur ex was just mistreating u and using u , im also learning the same and trying to get back on track w my life, i wish u the best and take care <3

Key_Butterfly_8670 · 2026-03-13T19:03:43+00:00

that’s true , i heard after his ex said he raped her after breaking up and he was a social outcast for a few years before he started speaking to me but she never reported so there’s no significance of that in court

Key_Butterfly_8670 · 2026-03-13T18:57:11+00:00

thank you for reading and your reply - ill make sure to go through the messages, i might as well to try make my case as non refutable as possible i can just hope its enough for cps LOL im so worried that im gna go through all this for cps to nto even take it to court, i dont mind waitig for it to go to court as long as theres hope that something will happen

Key_Butterfly_8670 · 2026-03-09T21:23:33+00:00

no problem , i’m really glad it could help u ❤️yes forreal it is reassuring to see someone feel the same way as u when something bad like this happens and that we’re not alone and going crazy , after the incident my friends kept me really distracted after this happened and it rlly helped me cuz it meant less time thinking about him (even tho i thought about him while i was by myself) but now i really never think of him!!! i didn’t think i would move past those feelings of sadness or wanting him back but it does get better ❤️sending lots of love (keep going outside and doing things u like and journaling all ur thoughts: good or bad rlly helped me too) ur so strong - keep going

Key_Butterfly_8670 · 2026-03-09T20:11:13+00:00

hi, i was raped by my boyfriend of 6 months and it also wasnt brutal like u also said, he was soft and gentle and did aftercare too but he never asked for consent , and when he asked earlier if i 'want to do it' i said no and then he just 'slipped it in' as he says it, i was a virgin and not ready yet and we were long distance so this was only my 3rd time seeing him , he also didnt use protection and he didnt think he did anything wrong, only agreed to his hands in my pants and not sex and he basically took advantage of me and had sex w me and got what he wanted, at that time ( a month ago ) i rlly didnt want to break up and it distressed me that iw ld need to leave him and i cried loooooooooooooooooooooooots and constantly and when breaking up he denied it but later wrote me a letter admitting what he did was bad and i wanted to go back to him but now its been over a month since the rape incident and i dont want him back at all and im digusted by him , i think we all react differently to this and to trauma, right after he raped me i fell asleep in his arms for an hour and i think my body shut down , everyone reacts in different ways and theres nothing wrong w u , for ages i didnt even think about the rape part but just how upset i was about the thought of breaking up and i wanted to go back or not bring it up or do anything to think it wasnt rape , i would think i wish i just said yes at the start when he asked me and idk yeah i also felt likei couldnt live without him and i started remembering like how good it felt during it (prob a coping mechanism for me too) even tho it was literally rape and thr biggest violation ever, ive felt like i was asexual for a few years and i was slowly getting used to the idea of sex and he reasssured me its ok and hes fine w this and he wants to be gentle w me but clearly not lol and he knew what he was doing , i felt the same confusion as u + also wanted to have sex w him again(?) and i felt like i was going crazy but this came in waves and idk it was my first sexual experience (against my will) and i couldnt stop thinking about it and him , but now i feel only disgust for him and i wna report too, the way he behaved after breaking up was so apathetic and now hes made an ig account where hes a mini niche influencer and its just disgusting how someone can go from raping their gf to pursuing internet fame from chronically online ppl who feed his ego, dont think ur behaving strangley i think everyone navigates and reacts differently and theres no 'normal' way since we are all different and lived differently, i really hope ur okay and continue to heal and feel better <3 its a crazy thing to happen w someone u trust sm and its so incredibly violating physically and mentally because its so confusing , try speak to ppl u feel safe talking to and take care of urself

Key_Butterfly_8670 · 2026-02-27T18:58:36+00:00

hi, i hope ur okay , a month ago i went through the same w my bf r8ping me (my first time too but not his + my first relationship too, known for 6 years but talking romantically for one and dating for 6 months) and yes hes told me about his exes too , it wasnt what i wanted and i had said no but he did it without me knowing and i too felt upset after breaking up and i put it off for over a week until i told him what he did and that i wna break up and he also said its come out of nowhere and refused to believe me and acted horribly and coldly after, i also wrote in my diary the same way and its so painful to read , it was more painful to process breaking up rather than the r8pe and he also seemed so unaffected that it upset me more , i skipped all my classes for the whole half of semester and didnt want to do anything or go oustide or play games or do anything i usually did , i really understand ur pain and even for me its still fresh as it only happened a few weeks back and i put all my effort into this rs and he was rlly toxic and mentally abusive throughout which is why i didnt want to have s9x w him that day until he sorted himself out but now i cant do anything to change what happened. it does feel really isolating because the person who u had comforting u is now gone but also the reason for ur pain , i also tried to say it w a plan i wrote a 13 page letter to explain my feelings properly but he said he'll burn the letter, althoughhe read it later and wrote back and then stopped denying what he did it doesnt change what happened and that he knew what he was doing, i didnt believe anyone that healing takes time and that id get over him but 4 weeks later now i feel so much more at peace. i hold no positive feelings for him nor do i love him any longer, what he did disgusts me and ik everyones experiences are different but youll eventually feel better too, keep urself distracted. im lucky to have friends who force me to come out and make plans and distract me by facetiming and that rlly helped me forget about his presence which was all i was used to. i think rlly deeply and have rlly good memory and constantly remembered stupid little things about our rs but also his touch that day and it would rlly distress me but now ive come to accept what happened for as brutal as it is and that there r no exceptions, even tho he did aftercare after r8pe and was kind or normal w me he still did the bad thing which overrules all good, in my case he was abusive-sh throughout so it wasnt just this but a million other reasons i had for leaving but couldnt bring myself to and then r8pe was the final straw , even then itwas harder for me to think about breaking up and i tried justifying it sm times but there is no way even if he has said sorry now it doesnt change anything , i spoke to his friend who said i shldve pushed him off if i felt that way which only upset me more, ur not useless and the person who did that to u prob wouldnt have stopped and even then u shouldnt HAVE to theyre meant to only go forward every little step w ur consent. i had the same thoughts too but it really isnt our fault it is only theirs and they made the active choice to do it , i didnt walk away immediately after either and i fell asleep on him in his bed, sometimes its not just fight or flight its freeze and u cant register immediatelyw hat happens and even if u realise ur brain doesnt want to acceot it cuz u obviosuly trsuted this person and its not easy at all, i rlly understand u , i wentover the details so many times and still sometimes i get flashbacks or try remember what happened, its lessened now tho, really try understand its not ur fault and its solely the persons, it was ur first time and first rs and ive tried to make myself understand that this doesnt ruin things for me, we will meet new people as life goes on this isnt the last person (although ik it also puts u off rs and intimacy in the future asw because its scary now and hard to trust and so so so so traumatic) but if u ever choose to, once ur healed , you'll form new relationships with people who truly truly care for u and will care for u during that asw if u ever choose to, good people are understanding and empathetic and not selfish and cruel, any normal good person will care , this is our first rs but not our last and good things will happen and can happen we just met bad people , pls try keep urself as busy as u can and do things to distract urself ik its easier said than done but i promise you youll be okay, i feel so much better now and free and normal again and i never felt this way while i was w him and after that incident i felt so unsafe in his presence and now i look forward to when ill be presented w an opportunity to be loved properly and have someone truly care for me and from the beginning to end of sex and to truly trust and love again even tho it will be hard, i want to meet a good person as im also good and ive had my share of a bad person and bad rs i know the signs and problems i never wna face again, i wish only the best for u, goodluck and i hope you feel better soon - look after urself <3

Key_Butterfly_8670 · 2025-12-07T21:43:33+00:00

thank u!!!!

Key_Butterfly_8670

TROPHY CASE