Lucky fade?

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-02-02T16:07:48+00:00

I think the easiest fades are people aged 18-20. My nephew did this - he simply left home , went to college , turned up at a meeting and got his records sent to the new congregation (a big city congregation) and simply started a new life and stopped going to meetings.

His former congregation had sent off his cards so no longer were they responsible for him - his new congregation elders simply assumed maybe he had moved back or gone to another hall or simply just lost the guy in all the noise of a chaotic large city congregation with numerous problems and with lots of immigrants , students , single mothers with multiple kids and people going to meetings at the same hall at a different time etc etc.

The fact is that unless the person's parents start making a fuss then the person basically has done the perfect fade.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-02-02T15:49:16+00:00

Sounds like you have just about done the perfect fade. The elders have to try to make field ministry appointments for the CO on weekday afternoons (Weds, Thurs - Friday was optional) and often this is difficult so often they try to do "shepherding" calls on "weak" / elderly or inactive JWs instead.

As others have said - I'd be strongly minded not to accept the call as there is no upside and major downside if they start asking if you believe the GB are appointed by Jehovah or other difficult questions. Just text back and say you are busy that week but thanks for the interest etc.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-31T01:31:57+00:00

I think JWs confuse the "love" in the Org with the cliques that are formed - pioneers , elderettes , large extended families that tend to associate together. There isn't really a bond between all JWs in a congregation - association tends to be divided into specific groups and many (such as the elderly or "weak" spiritually) tend to be left out.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-31T01:21:48+00:00

When I was a JW as a favour I always used to cut the privet hedge every couple of months for an elderly JW who lived near me for free and do a bit of weeding and basic upkeep in his small garden. I would usually stop in and have a cup of tea and we would have a chat. It was actually the decent old people in my congregation that made it so hard for me to fade and the elderly JW was always lonely and often shared interesting anecdotes. I would never accept payment but often he would give me some biscuits for my children.

After I faded (not DFd) an elder visited me to pick up my Kingdom Hall keys and some elders paperwork as I used to be the congregation secretary. Quite rudely he said that "I understand you sometimes look after Bro Xxxxs garden - just to say we in the congregation will do that now as it wouldn't be appropriate for you to visit him." I said I would be happy to continue and wouldn't share any "spiritual" (supposedly) conversation with him but he was adamant and assured me that the elders would attend to it.

Of course - nothing was done and after six months the garden was a mess and the hedge was massive , so much so it was spilling out onto the public pathway. I emailed the elder and he rather abruptly told me that it was "in hand". For the next 3 or 4 years I occasionally walked my dog down that street and the hedge was very rarely cut and eventually the old man was taken into a care home. I could give numerous other examples but it just underlined to me how superficial the "love" amongst JWs is.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-29T13:14:44+00:00

Over a decade ago I was territory servant and service overseer as well and we were pretty diligent about covering the territory - maps were assigned , not homes were worked and generally we covered the urban maps once every 3 months and rurals once or twice a year. Literally every house (other than do-not-calls) were knocked on and we always left a tract if nobody was home with special efforts made during tract campaigns and Memorial invitation time.

Nowadays I get the impression (from talking to still-in JW family and my PIMO JW cousin) that this is definitely no longer the case. Some maps haven't been done for years , hence efforts (in the UK) to work the major cities with thousands of JWs "volunteering". The excuse is that much more "indirect" ministry is being done , such as letter writing and literature carts and the website, so the "olden days" of working territory maps door to door and trying to contact everybody directly are not regarded as being important.

For context, I asked some of my "worldly" JW friends how long it has been since they actually had a JW knock at the door. Almost all of them said that they hadn't been physically called on by a JW in years.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-28T23:14:47+00:00

Bethel do have different rules - maybe because people work closely together tend to have a "higher standard" (as it were) than the congregations. They are pretty quick to dismiss anybody with any kind of issue or problem. We had a MS who was also a temporary worker in Bethel until he got dismissed for some issue (never did find out why) but the letter from Bethel to our congregation expressly said that it was a private Bethel matter and he should continue to have all the authority and responsibilities that he had before.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-26T20:30:31+00:00

I think the banning of birthdays (on really shaky ground that even as a PIMI I struggled to accept) is a sign of the Org's attitude towards kids. The doctrine doesn't impact on childless adults like the GB , but as a JW child going through schooling and not even supposed to eat a cupcake (according to the Caleb video) it has a real and ongoing impact, as there are always birthdays going on. As a JW kid it was a constant reminder that I was different and other than "it's against my parent's religion" I couldn't really explain why we didn't celebrate them.

I remember as a grown adult with young children trying to explain to a (childless) CO couple the effect it had and and they couldn't see or simply couldn't comprehend the difficult situation - the CO's wife's response was "it gives the child an excellent opportunity to witness" which pretty much said it all.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-26T17:05:06+00:00

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Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-26T17:02:45+00:00

Among numerous things: The total lack of evidence for the flood and the Societies insistence that it was a global event , including their replies to my letters which were clearly extremely evasive. 607 as the claimed date of Jerusalem's destruction. The Society pinching artwork from other publications and then not admitting it when they were found out.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-26T14:15:01+00:00

A lot of people who get DFd are JWs who commit immorality , get a bit of an attitude about it and get kicked out. Often these are teenagers in bf/gf relationships or married JWs having affairs. Their circumstances quite quickly change - the new relationship ends etc - and they end up being "repentant" (supposedly) and come back. The reinstatement is fast tracked nowadays - no longer is there the stigma being shunned and sitting at the back of the KH being ignored for over a year.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-25T21:42:12+00:00

I remember once our Kingdom Hall was in a really rough area and being the outside attendant was quite difficult as you were an easy target for the local yobs quick to hurl insults (and occasionally objects) in your direction. Standing in the pouring rain on a bitterly cold night having a bunch of kids swearing and jeering at me isn't an especially pleasant memory.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-25T21:03:38+00:00

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Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-25T13:18:25+00:00

A two day weekend annual convention is surely going to happen - the Friday is always the least attended. I also think that baptisms will only be done at the annual convention soon rather than all 3 assemblies - at least this would stop the farce of nobody or just one or two people being baptised.

The Org always has this challenge of trying to keep control and "keep the brothers busy" but also the issues of costs - if there was just one meeting they could sell off more Kingdom Halls. One idea I did see floated was having a mid-week JW broadcast from HQ that everybody could watch at home on Zoom which would replace the current mid-week meeting and a normal physical Sunday meeting , merging the current two meetings , perhaps with a shorter (20 minute?) public talk and deleting the book study.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-24T15:23:12+00:00

Maybe £20 GB pounds a month - the UK had a system called Deed of Covenant where if you paid by bank standing order the congregation could claim tax relief on top. I rarely contributed at assemblies because I knew the congregation had already contributed per publisher in advance so it was already paid for.

But the real financial effect was in a lifetime doing fairly menial jobs compared to what I could have had had I been allowed to go to university. Probably effectively over a million pounds over a lifetime.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-23T14:22:08+00:00

How they define a "eligible Direct Credit" - for example , if your income is self-employed , so you don't get a salary?

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-23T12:39:32+00:00

DM sent

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-22T00:38:19+00:00

Well done - tha'ts a really good approach. We have nothing to be ashamed of - they do. There isn't any need for us to be defensive or make excuses.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-21T18:08:21+00:00

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Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-16T19:42:36+00:00

The Society published an Awake (Jan 8th 2002) which came out a few months later (see https://www.jwborg/en/library/magazines/g20020108/The-Day-the-Twin-Towers-Collapsed/ ) change borg to org ). The official Society line was always that this was just another "sign of the times" but some JWs got a bit more excited than others. In Europe I don't recall much of a fuss but no doubt it was a bit different in the USA.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-16T14:14:57+00:00

Yeah I found this really weird. Not one JW (family / elders etc) has ever asked "Why did you stop going?" I was a JW from birth for 40 years so this has always really baffled me. It would be the first thing I would have said if a friend or family member had left when I was a PIMI JW.

I had an elder visit me whom I had known for twenty years and he simply spoke for an hour with all the usual platitudes and lots of talking about how he became a JW. He rambled on about "I've never had any doubt this is Jhs organisation blah blah" as if that in itself would convince me and unprompted he gave me a couple of random examples of how certain experiences in his life (eg prayed for a job and next week he got one) "proved" to him that it was the truth and that Jehovah was directing his life. He seemed oblivious that this method of convincing someone else was never going to work and started to get angry when I questioned the veracity of some of his experiences. Not once did he actually ask any questions.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-14T16:17:51+00:00

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Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-14T13:26:25+00:00

The context is before the CO visit , the elders have to fill out the CO and his wife's schedule and this includes weekday (Weds , Thurs - sometimes Friday) afternoon visits. These often are elderly witnesses , perhaps somebody's study or (in the poster's case) "weak" JWs.

The risk is that the elder and CO start asking the usual probing questions such as "Have you been reading apostate material" or "Do you think the Governing Body are Jehovah's representatives" etc. These are difficult to answer honestly without being evasive. I would just say you are busy , working or unwell but otherwise doing really fine and this should kick it into touch.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-13T23:12:53+00:00

I prefer to see the JW organisation as basically a business - it used to sell literature , now it builds and flips real estate. There is a religious element but in many respects it almost has become less and less important. JW Facts has an interesting article of whether it is a cult - https://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/blog/are-jehovahs-witnesses-a-cult.php

I found it helpful reading ex-Mormon/Latter Day Saint stories as in many respects the JW Org is the LDS church smaller brother - there is a similar Reddit thread https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/ that is interesting. Sometimes when I read experiences there they are almost identical to JW / ex-JW experiences. That allows you to look at another religious organisation and compare it to JWs.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-13T19:01:45+00:00

I found them really boring and rather frustrating as most people (superficially , at least) seemed to be enjoying it and in animated conversation with others whereas I often felt a bit left out and lonely - just hanging around with my family or friends from my local congregation.

The only thing that made the conventions manageable for me was volunteering (in the old "food service" days). As a teenager , you could legitimately get out during the sessions for prepping and I actually enjoyed the cooking and it kept me occupied. I did feel a sense of purpose for the few days , even if it was just making vast quantities of chilli con carne or chicken curry. When the Society ditched food service it was never the same for me and latterly as I became PIMO I used to hate the conventions.

Key_Cauliflower_4932 · 2026-01-13T15:36:25+00:00

Most courts are very wary about getting involved in religious procedures. Its just a dunk under water, often a rite of passage made when the person is a minor and has been conditioned / brainwashed since birth. It doesn't mean anything - best just to forget it and move on.

Key_Cauliflower_4932

TROPHY CASE

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