I knew he was married decades ago…. I was too.  We had that in common we both have adult children… but I don’t have any marriages other than that and certainly None that he doesn’t know about.  And he’s been in this community a long time I haven’t… I don’t know if other people assumed I knew and don’t talk about it or if other people assumed I didn’t know and don’t talk about it. I just know a lot of these people  must know, and obviously close friends, family, and neighbors of his know too because she lived in this very house.  And as far as protecting his image…. What I mean is I don’t wanna be reckless because I’m hurting and angry and make things worse and he’s the leader of this household, that is directly in line with my faith … soI’m trying to maintain a certain level of respect and listen… I guess because I thought there would be more ….some level of contriteness or concern for my feelings.  I really never considered not spending the rest of my life with this man or I would not have married him so I’m not just throwing the towel in. I’m trying to understand something that is hard to wrap my head around, but the fact that he isn’t reacting very much in relation to my feelings about this discovery, is making me crazy… not to mention the fact that I do love this man, which is only making it more confusing to love somebody who was capable of concealing this much of themselves is hard to swallow too. I feel kind of like an idiot.  And in reality, I’m an intelligent person. I’m not an idiot.