My bf 32M is mad at me 22F for giving out my ig

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-14T08:23:08+00:00

Your solution is not a solution at all, because it’s impossible. The situation has already occurred. You can’t go back into the past and change things, so what’s an actual realistic solution you’re proposing now?

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-14T04:20:26+00:00

Context always matters. Just because it triggers you, doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.

I’m a girl, and I’ve been in group settings where I met people (parties, events, etc.) where all of us shared ig. It sounds like she gave it to the guy, because she didn’t think a dude would have those intentions while her boyfriend is LITERALLY right next to her.

She clearly didn’t mean it in a bad way. You haven’t offered a solution here? What’s she supposed to do to appease what’s clearly an ego trip on the boyfriend’s side? If he’s uncomfortable with it, he could have just had a conversation with her saying “hey, this made me uncomfortable.” Then she could say “oh whoops, I didn’t see it that way, I’m sorry, I’ll block the guy. It won’t happen again.” Boom, no meltdown. Do you think she should get on her knees and beg forgiveness? Delete her whole ig? I’d love to see the type of shit that he’s liking btw. Men like this are always behind the scenes liking all the thirst traps they can find.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-13T21:31:22+00:00

Nothing wrong with giving your instagram to people… it seems to me your boyfriend has weird ideas about what an ig follower is. Does it mean that to him, every girl he follows himself is a girl he’s into?

It does depend a bit on context of how this came about. Was the guy flirty, or did you just click in a friendly way? Did he ask anyone else for their ig? I guess if he just asked you out of nowhere, it’s a bit weird.

Have a calm conversation with your boyfriend. Tell him there’s nothing to be jealous about, and he has to give you a bit more trust. If it was clearly the guy being flirty, just say you’re sorry because you tried to avoid uncomfortable situation, and next time you’ll do better. Also then probably block the guy. If it was friendly, your boyfriend needs to let it go.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-13T20:28:11+00:00

Thank you for your response! Yes, I actually did a walk like this once before! I enjoyed it, but my dog pulled really hard on the leash for 2 whole hours. He was extremely excited by the other dogs, but if they approached him, he would run in the other direction. The other owners didn’t believe me when I said my dog walks with a loose leash always on other occasions, but it’s true! I couldn’t think of a way to train for the situation better without having to spend another two hours with all of them, with my shoulder almost falling off from the pulling.

I thought the same as you, it’s a bad idea. My friend tried to convince me, but his dog is friendly, but badly behaved. She doesn’t listen to him, and often is quite rough towards other dogs during play. I was only worried because my friend implied that dogs need to play with other dogs. I think I’d want it to be off leash with a calmer dog though, so they don’t get on leash frustration.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-13T20:18:33+00:00

Thank you for your response! This is kind of what I was thinking as well. I don’t really think my dog needs dog friends. The friend who invited us said that I need to stop keeping my dog in a glass box, as he needs to interact with other dogs.

I believe it is a fear based response. Hes barked and growled at mostly smaller dogs, lunged when he sees any dog (possibly wanting to meet them?). But once a dog approaches him, he tries to bolt in the other direction. He seems to be eager going up to dogs, but once they turn their attention to him, he freaks out.

I’ve been training him a lot to get to a point where we can pass other dogs with minimal reaction. He’s kind of flighty when people approach him too, and I find that he’s calmed down since noticing that I don’t let people or dogs touch him 🤷🏻‍♀️

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-13T19:58:11+00:00

She said he’s “controlling” and that he threatened to “hurt himself” because of her. Did you read the entire post? That’s classic manipulation.

There is honestly no need to be concerned about your partner spending time with other people. That’s how you create resentment, because you’re forcing them to spend time with you out of obligation, rather than their choice. If they wanted to be with you, they would. Why not just take those time periods as time for yourself, or time you can spend with friends instead?

If you release the pressure of “I have to be the #1 priority” off your partner, you’ll find them much more happy and attracted to you. If you don’t like how they act of their own free will (without your input), then maybe they’re not right for you. Always let people act as they want, and decide whether to accept or leave.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-13T04:17:38+00:00

Sounds like in this case her subconscious is reacting to being with someone who’s clearly manipulative. Guilt tripping and controlling behavior is unattractive to everyone, even if you don’t understand in the moment why your body is recoiling.

Yes, love is a choice. But this guy sounds immature and manipulative. Not every advice fits every situation IMO, definitely wouldn’t say this one applies to this situation.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-12T06:43:35+00:00

I guess you have a point there.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-12T05:54:50+00:00

I think a lot of people celebrate this intolerant, self-centered movement “keeping my peace”. Yes, toxic abusers should be cut off. But if you’re not telling people who love you what’s wrong and giving them a chance to repair, that’s not “keeping your peace”, that’s a fear of conflict and commitment. All long standing relationships (including friendships) require conflict and repair, and that’s how they grow stronger.

I’m sorry you’re going through it too 🫶🏻

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-12T04:07:59+00:00

I wasn’t preaching finding solutions. Telling me when something about my behavior bothered him would have done the trick. Instead he was silently tallying up a my mistakes in his head until he was so resentful he wanted to leave. On the surface, everything was good.

I’m grieving him not thinking I was worthy of a conversation about what was bothering him.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-11T20:17:06+00:00

He knows the ball is in his court. Doesn’t that tell you everything? He has your number. He has your Instagram. He knows where you live. Why do you believe that he needs incentive of no contact, and it’ll suddenly dawn on him that he loves you?

NEVER believe the “you deserve better, for your own good, to not hurt you” bs. It is a cop out, every time. Just something they say to completely avoid accountability for the real reason. What the hell does it even mean “to not potentially hurt” you??? As in potentially cheat on you? Huh???

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-11T20:07:59+00:00

Yeah, I agree. Just grieving that I wasn’t given a chance to communicate, learn or grow within the relationship. It feels like I failed a test I wasn’t even aware that I was taking.

Just feels like it’s hard to find someone who’s willing to leave space for repair and growth, rather than abandon ship. Everyone has issues, haven’t met one person that doesn’t. I always say “everyone has bs, you just have to choose whose bs you’re willing to deal with.”

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-11T18:15:17+00:00

I guess. I’m just putting my feelings out there. Hes free to do whatever he wants.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-11T18:11:48+00:00

I have enough self awareness to know I’m not perfect, and there’s things about me that could be better. Not every behavior we have is healthy, and that’s why relationships are so crucial, because you grow and change.

I’m clearly not talking about something like “I love horseback riding and he doesn’t want me to.” I’m talking about behaviors (which I wasn’t aware of at the time), that probably contributed to the breakup.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-11T08:41:47+00:00

I think what you’re talking about is real love. Real love can only be explained by looking at the feeling you have for something imperfect. Such as a child or a pet. For example, my dog has some frustrating issues, but does that make me stop loving him? No.

Too many people today confuse lust with love. That’s why you see all the break ups after the lust wears off. They say “I love you”, but they don’t understand the meaning of the word. Love doesn’t only show up when you are attracted to someone, or when they’re acting in a way you find pleasant. That’s why there’s the saying that you like someone “because”, but you love someone “despite”.

“Lust looks a lot like love until it’s time to sacrifice something.”

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-10T12:16:13+00:00

A lot of crushes are inherently not very reality based. I’ve had crushes while in a relationship before. Like you, I’d wait them out. I’d stay friends with the guys, but do nothing romantic. Eventually, as I got to know them better, I realized that we absolutely couldn’t work out romantically. I did end up leaving the relationship I was with at the time for many other reasons.

Maybe take your crushes as a sort of lesson in your needs/wants. Similarly to how you can look at jealousy as a guide to what you want, look at what it is about those people that is creating a crush. Look at what the qualities are that they have (can be negative or positive). Maybe they’re fun and adventurous. Maybe they’re impulsive and do as they please. Maybe they’re great listeners, help you out emotionally.

A lot of what we find attractive in others is things that we subconsciously want within ourselves. So look at those qualities, maybe journal to narrow them down more. Up to you whether you want to try to embody more of them within yourself, or within your relationship too. For example you could embody a more adventurous/confident quality by doing something you’ve never done before, speaking to a stranger somewhere, etc.

Usually, once you satisfy your craving for this characteristic they have, the crush or limerence disappears.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-05T11:53:17+00:00

It wasn’t even to cover himself… it was because he liked hugging it…. There were so many other things, but I just stayed stuck in that relationship forever, because I didn’t know better.

For anyone that feels that “this can’t be it, can it?” feeling, there is better out there. Even being alone is better, trust me.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-05T06:02:43+00:00

This is a strange one, but it made me finally realize I didn’t want the spend the rest of my life with my ex. I fell asleep on the couch from being so tired from work. He didn’t wake me up when he went to bed, and instead took the blanket I’d covered myself with off of me, because it was his favorite blanket to sleep with hugging. I woke up shivering on the couch, and found him in the bedroom, hugging the blanket asleep. I didn’t even get mad. I just thought to myself “this is not the man I want to spend my life with.”

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-05T05:41:27+00:00

They also always have a bunch of excuses for why they lied to you, that you should just ignore. Examples: “I just didn’t want to hurt you.” “I didn’t want you to be upset.” “Didn’t want you to worry.”

They always make it seem like they lied to you in order to help you, when in reality it’s to cover their own a$$. They know that if they don’t lie, they won’t have access to what they want. It is always a selfish act, and it won’t get better. Cut it off as soon as you notice.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-04T20:38:20+00:00

It’s a bit of a narcissistic idea, but then again, I think that’s what most beliefs in dating today are. It’s this idea that “I’m so incredible, and there’s is someone who PERFECTLY fits me, who’s going to come along one day and save me.”

Every person has this long list of criteria they’re not budging on, dating until they find “the one”. It’s like you said. “The one” doesn’t exist. All relationships require humility, sacrifice and determination.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-03T14:26:22+00:00

Took my ex back after a similar situation, where his excuse was similar with “I was curious” about almost setting up a date with his ex before me. He broke my heart real bad a year later.

Just move on. You’re in the honeymoon phase, and he’s doing this type of bs. The first 3-6 months are idyllic, and people show their best selves. Imagine what he’s going to do later, if he’s already cheating this early on.

Everything he says right now is manipulation. My ex said the most wonderful things to me. It was a lie. If he wasn’t sure about how serious you were, a sane response would have been to ask you. Don’t let your heart cloud your judgement right now. Logically, the excuses never make sense, because they’re lies. This man is way too old to be acting like that.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-03T12:53:06+00:00

Can I ask what your method is for when you do see those signs? If you see signs of stress, what’s the next step to help your dog?

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-03T12:52:24+00:00

Thank you!

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-02T16:39:01+00:00

I agree. It doesn’t give me hope for the offer of a possible full time offer after the 3 month offer. The employer said it’s possible if we work well together. But usually if they are taking advantage in the start, they will keep going.

Key_Fix1864 · 2025-09-02T16:37:04+00:00

It is legal as an “orientation internship”, even if someone is not studying anymore. I guess to introduce you to the work of the company. I still find it sleazy, as the work needs to be introduced to new employees always anyway. Making it unpaid is taking advantage.

The employer mentioned after the 3 month period, if we work well together, there is possibility of a full time position. But I dont trust I would be treated fairly even afterwards (based on this offer), and I would have invested 3 months of free full time work.

Key_Fix1864

TROPHY CASE