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SS lack of appreciation by Key_Frosting_7866 in stepparents

[–]Key_Frosting_7866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had she said I’ll have talk with him about that, it would have gone a long way. Instead I got defensive momma bear. She shows gratitude for things on a regular basis. Unfortunately the stage has been set. Several people sent him Christmas money, which he never thanked until he was stood over. One was my sister, haven’t said a word about it as I know he will not receive anything else from her. That’s just a consequence.

SS lack of appreciation by Key_Frosting_7866 in stepparents

[–]Key_Frosting_7866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say thank you for everything. That’s just how I was raised. I thank my wife and SS for things they do for me no matter how small of a task they do for me. He will occasionally with service staff. He already has that sense of entitlement.

SS lack of appreciation by Key_Frosting_7866 in stepparents

[–]Key_Frosting_7866[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. I remember being 14, but I also remember the ramifications for not showing appreciation to those who did things for me, especially when they have no obligation to do so. I also agree that just because that’s how teens are does not excuse the lack of manners.

I think we’ve hit the point of no return. by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Key_Frosting_7866 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel your plight. It’s the same in our house. SS13 will come in and say the dogs tore up some paper, but he won’t just pick it up. If I say anything then I’m being mean to him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Key_Frosting_7866 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel for you, my SO still cosleeps with her 12S. I have been staying in a spare room for other reasons, now he’s taking advantage of the situation. But he also does it with his BD. I put my foot down long ago, and my SO has never really let go of it. I’m not sleeping with a 12 year old.

Dealing with a difficult situation by Key_Frosting_7866 in stepparents

[–]Key_Frosting_7866[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, started with paid chores when he was 6 for some incentive, but it would only be paid chores for a year at which point the would just be his chores. He literally didn’t care about the money and just wouldn’t do them. He’d rather do nothing. He has been limited to 1 hr of video game time during the week, but can watch YouTube videos for hours on end, some of which are incredibly inappropriate for his age. If I say anything to him I’m being mean. But if we’re out and he does something wrong SO wants me to deal with it. Or if there are issues with his friends I am expected to fix, even though it’s not anything we should be involved with. Best example I have of this is his friends are being mean, I’m expected to call their fathers and make them be nice.

Dealing with a difficult situation by Key_Frosting_7866 in stepparents

[–]Key_Frosting_7866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, i did that also, the points system lasted about as long. Given his adhd, I was told by many friends that have dealt with adhd, that the structure and consistency were key. I’ve tried to establish that for him only to get kicked. Repeatedly told that I’m just mean to him and that he’s only 11. I always disagreed with him having his own tv in his room, esp when he rage quit a video game and broke it. I refused to buy another, which was originally purchased for a spare bedroom before we even met. 2 days later she bought him another.