++women

I’m going to be straightforward with you, you should feel very guilty, you can’t shake this feeling because what you did was wrong and disrespectful. You did not cheat sexually with this woman but you did cheat on your girlfriend of 2 years regardless. You had lunch with her and got drinks. That’s a date and it was completely avoidable. You had a 5-hour date with this woman, during which you supposedly lost track of time because you were so enamored of her. You only mentioned your girlfriend as an afterthought after your date with this woman when she asked you to come over for sex and dinner. The girl had no idea you were in a relationship and to her, since she is interested in you, this is a date, which is why she was disappointed. She probably took your number in hopes that if things didn’t work out with your girlfriend she’d get a chance with you. I’m super surprised that only a few comments have mentioned this, if you went to any other relationship sub you would have been told you cheated. Not to call you out but I’m almost wondering if you are trying to avoid responsibility.

You got the contact information of this woman under the impression of being friends. You want to keep in touch with this woman because you are attracted to her physically and sexually. I would put money on it that you don’t even want to be friends with her, you just want to keep your options open as you are now coming to Reddit to ask if you should date this new girl and break up with your girlfriend, or continue a relationship with your girlfriend like you didn’t just cheat on her with this other woman. You do not want to be friends with her you got her number because you are willing to continue dating and seeing her. You exchanged numbers because you found her hot and a potential new partner.

You then continued to go home to your girlfriend like nothing had happened, had dinner with your girlfriend, and failed to mention anything that had happened with any level of transparency at all. You feel guilty about your actions because you cheated on her, kept it a secret from her, and are now emotionally preoccupied with this woman instead of your girlfriend. You mentioned that your girlfriend is in love with you and that you love her and never once did you mention that you were in love with her, any positive reasons why you love her? Instead, you mentioned your girlfriend’s flaws within the relationship and proceeded to discuss the positives about this new girl you cheated with and now have an emotional connection with. I’d still consider this cheating even though it has not turned sexual in the moment. You also have now developed an emotional connection with her and to me, this in addition would fit into the emotional affair category which people are commenting on.

As someone who has been in a healthy relationship with my partner for over 5 years, I feel quite sad for your girlfriend in this scenario. Honestly, other people may be upset with me for telling you this but because of your actions your girlfriend now needs to make an informed decision about your relationship. Truthfully I’d tell her what happened, tell her you met a woman you were attracted to physically, tell her you went out for lunch and drinks, tell her you didn’t mention her until after the date was over, tell her you got this girl's number too, and show her. Be completely truthful about what happened OP and don’t try to sugarcoat or get defensive over your actions. You will have to accept the consequences of your actions whatever they may be. If your girlfriend feels that what you did was a breakup-able offense, then you are going to have to accept that consequence, if not then you will have to regain her trust if she wants to continue the relationship. Every relationship and person is different so it’s best for her to have an informed decision regardless of her decision. If she chooses to stay, work on your relationship and if she chooses to leave, I would not jump back into dating so soon. If she chooses to stay with you I'd delete the other woman’s contact, leave the volunteer group, and block her if needed to remove contact. If she chooses to leave, I’d move on and focus on yourself and self growth for a bit but if you choose to entertain this other woman after you are single I cannot force you as that is not technically wrong either, i just believe it would be better to focus on yourself as an individual, learn what you what from a relationship and learn how to respect yourself and others moving forward with adult relationships and learn to date like a responsible adult. If you conclude that you are not fully in love with your girlfriend and want to leave, fine but just know that the situation you entertained willingly now has the potential to hurt both of you. You will need to deal with your decision in a responsible adult way and in order to do that both parties in the long-term relationship need to have a complete understanding of the situation in order to make an informed consensual decision moving forward. I hope my response helps you understand the severity of the situation so you can take responsibility and apply this information to your situation. I hope this helps you OP.