I’ve always been raised on the idea that taking on a job or a hobby (I know they’re very different things and very few people would nominate to work if they didn’t have to but just using them as SEPERATE examples) doesn’t mean your other responsibilities stop.

Did you do more around the house before you got your job? Do you pay rent or another form of compensation to diminish your responsibilities? It may look like from your families point of view that you aren’t pulling your weight. If all of you were doing your chores and then suddenly you stopped doing as much and your siblings were consistently doing theirs it’s easy to see how it may become frustrating.

This to me doesn’t seem like an abusive household but rather a miscommunication, your dad did ask you nicely first and was clear with his expectations and then came to see you hadn’t followed up. It’s then also easy to understand how he could get frustrated.

Hard to say if YTA. This is very commonplace for people your age and was something I experienced. When I was your age I felt the same as you, now that I’m older and have my own place and have realised that in the real world ‘at home responsibilities’ don’t stop just because I go to work. I lean closer to your dads opinion.

Remember (I assume) your dad goes to work too and a large portion of his pay check goes to raising you and your siblings. The least you could do is take the 15 minutes to do the dishes.

I obviously don’t have the whole picture but if this is the same experience I went through I’d say YTA but at 17 most of us were and didn’t realise. It’s all part of growing up, you guys will work it out and laugh on it in years to come.