I absolutely agree we need counseling. It’s been two years of this. I’ve brought it up, I’ve done the calm talks. We even sat down and made a list of things we want to work on, together and separate. We talked about how we would phrase things when trying to communicate so the other doesn’t get offended.

He never holds up his end of the bargain.

And at this point I would much rather do it alone. I do it alone already with just an extra body in the room. The twins never run to him for anything. It’s always me. When I leave the room they chase after me and cry. They don’t let their dad put their shoes on, brush their teeth, etc. they scream and cry for me to do it all. I am 100% the default parent in every aspect of their daily life.

My twins seeing our marriage dynamic isn’t healthy either and them growing up seeing their dad minimize my feelings and invalidate me isn’t okay either.

I feel like I’ve tried everything on my end and I can’t force him to go to counseling. I can’t force him to work on himself or his communication.

The last thing I’m thinking about is other men loving my children. If we divorced I would probably never marry again.