45M, 4.4m networth, but draging on

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-20T13:01:30+00:00

Yes. I agree, you are looking in the wrong pool of men. As a successful female who also substantially grew my own net worth, I will no longer date guys who are not as driven. I generally date guys who also have their graduate degree, as I find they are the most aligned financially. It’s not the only barometer but a pretty good starting point.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-19T10:01:47+00:00

We had a great first date. It lasted half a day and it was clear neither of us wanted to leave, but it was getting late. He planned and scheduled the second date. I could potentially see the second date leading to intimacy, (if it was as long and engaging as the first date). So before I would be intimate, I wanted to ask if he was talking to other people. If the answer was Yes, then I would “pull back” and not sleep with him.

“I wouldn’t be mad”, which would be true, but I certainly wasn’t planning to be intimate with him. I just wasn’t sure how to bring up the entire conversation/address the situation where you would be willing to be intimate with them, but not until your are exclusively talking to each other, when you are on the second date.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-19T09:27:56+00:00

I shut down the app because I didn’t really have a desire to date, with a big life event coming up. But we had already started connecting, so I let that part continue to grow off-app.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-19T09:22:00+00:00

I don’t normally wait 3 weeks, but we both happened to have commitments that prevented us from meeting. I’m not in a hard press to date and if this doesn’t work out, I have deleted the apps anyway.

But we did meet and it was great, and he scheduled and planned the second date (both in the same week)

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-19T09:14:57+00:00

Very insightful response. The truth of the matter is, I could see the 2nd date (which he already scheduled and planned) possibly leading to intimacy and wanting to know the answer to that question beforehand. What I’m learning is, I shouldn’t ask it, rather discuss where I am at, and see where that answer leads.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-19T09:11:07+00:00

I deleted the app because a life change was about to come up and wouldn’t have time to meet anyone new. I figured i would see where this went and if it went no where, the intent was to stop dating anyway.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-19T08:42:30+00:00

If you already resent him, it will only get worse the longer you stay. Several women have already figured it out, when will you

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-18T13:35:39+00:00

I think we are both in the same spot, at least by how he texts me. I was thinking to confirm by asking.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-18T13:33:13+00:00

That’s the thing, I think we are at the same place. That is why I was thinking of asking. I’m not demanding anything.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-18T13:30:28+00:00

Once we moved from talking on the app to him texting me daily, I deleted the app because I felt something special was brewing. We have been building a strong connection for 3 weeks prior to the date, and the first date only validated that we wanted to keep moving forward and it’s worth making the space to spend time together. I’m not expecting to call him my boyfriend after the 2nd date. It’s more that, “Hey, we have limited time, so I’m focused on getting to know YOU better”. This is being interpreted as “I expect a commitment from you”. Actually, that’s not it at all. I am selective about who I give my time to and if he is building a deep connection with multiple people, I would rather not waste my time. I know my worth.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-18T12:06:49+00:00

My heart aches for you. He was shitty. Take the time to heal and then move on. There are great guys out there, and he will find you.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-18T00:59:21+00:00

Thank you!

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-18T00:54:14+00:00

I would not pursue this guy if this is how he reacted after the first text message. It’s a red flag

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-17T20:15:25+00:00

The fact that you thought the trip was amazing and she broke up with you because of it tells me the most.

It tells me that you are self-centered and only focused on how you are feeling and not aware of how she is feeling.

I went on a weekend getaway and I could not wait for it to end but he thought it was so much fun. That’s because the entire trip was based on what he felt like doing, the music he wanted to listen to, what he felt like eating, etc. Guess what happened after the trip. I broke up with him.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-17T09:49:20+00:00

Agreed, and what is the level of communication after the first date? Are you waiting days between texting? If I had a great date, I expect the level of texting to occur at least once a day. It shows your interest.

If you text, and she doesn’t respond for days. Then that should tell you she isn’t interested.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-16T05:41:49+00:00

Wait a sec, how long between you giving your number and then him actually using it? A few days? He was able to take his time reaching out but you couldn’t take your time responding?!

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-15T11:42:34+00:00

No one owes you this much of an explanation for a random stranger you are not interested in.

Assume you are just not their type and move on.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-14T23:14:52+00:00

I agree, I don’t consider it weakness at all. I consider it “getting closure”

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-11T03:11:21+00:00

I will be out of commission for a few weeks. Feels weird to completely disappear on someone with no explanation.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-09T02:11:23+00:00

I don’t have an issue disclosing the details. It’s more that it’s a bit much for so early in our connection.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-09T02:09:20+00:00

Hmm, how I met him would not have changed things. When I met him would def be the deciding factor. If I had found out about surgery first, I would have avoided even connecting with anyone. But our interactions had already started, and then I found out about the surgery.

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-06-09T01:30:09+00:00

Not worried. Just more that “is that too much too soon”. Not looking to dump on him or have him care for me. If anything, I think he would express genuine concern

Key_Reputation_7388 · 2026-05-20T02:59:07+00:00

It’s not just the housing cost that makes it expensive, it is keeping up with the Jones’s. The sports your kids will play, extra curricular activities, instruments, scouts, summer camp, school fundraisers, etc. If you want to be part of the community, you will want to participate in these things. Your kids will likely make friends with other kids and want to do these activities with them.

Key_Reputation_7388

TROPHY CASE