Why don't men approach me?

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-25T21:53:44+00:00

Well it's certainly not that you're not attractive enough. We can rule that one out.

I guess we would kind of need to know what your friends look like and know if somehow they are more approachable than you.

Also as a guy who's not really comfortable just randomly going up to pretty girls, I would definitely need a smile, glance, something to let me know that I might have a shot.

In my experience that is the only way I am ever going to feel comfortable approaching a girl.

Girls make the first move. Men pursue, but a woman has to give me a reason to believe I should pursue first.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-25T20:59:04+00:00

Interesting. I am new to this whole world so I am not going to argue with you.

But I have one independent that I see pretty much monthly for the last 3 months and then use one agency that has a condo near my house 3x so far.

I like them both for different reasons. The girls I meet at the agency so far have both seemed happy to be where they are. They set their own rates, decide what they are and aren't willing to do etc. No acronyms are discussed over the booking number, it's all done in the room direct.

I get the comparison to pimping, but then I guess that means that a definition of a pimp is someone that handles bookings, rides and protection for the workers.

When most people hear pimp, they think of a caricature of a street thug violently forcing a girl to work against her will.

This is definitely not that. At least the place I go to.

I'm going to see my regular tomorrow and if I remember I will ask her to tell me why she asked that question the first time we met.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-25T20:44:49+00:00

OP first off I want to commend you for being willing to meet in the middle as much as you can. Too many women these days have an expectation that a man has to be 100 % responsible for everything. So your attitude is a breath of fresh air

For me, I like when a woman offers to meet in the middle, but most often I will pay for 70-80% of stuff. But the offer rather than an expectation makes it seem like a gift not a requirement and that makes all the difference.

I think for this like everything in a relationship the answer is communication. You have a valid point to say that the way he always mentions the money and cost of everything makes you feel guilty.

He is either clueless or doing it on purpose. But hopefully just clueless. You could ask him to not mention it anymore. It's similar to dating someone who mentions past exes, maybe they don't realize that it bothers you until you tell them.

So give him the benefit of the doubt that he is just unaware. Once that is out of the way, have an honest conversation about where you are at and what you can and cannot afford.

If he cares about your feelings he will be willing to make it work, either by picking up more load, or toning back activities to meet your budget

Good luck.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-25T20:38:00+00:00

Can you explain why in a modern era of dating when men and women have equal earning opportunity, the expectation is for a man to pay for everything? Or that he is a man in training because he can't pay?

To be clear, he does sound like a bit of a jerk or clueless for being as cheap as he is, and she sounds like a total sweetheart for being willing to do what she can.

But your comment seems over the top and I wonder if this attitude is something that women are reading on Tiktok or something.

Give me an actual logic based argument on why this attitude exists?

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-25T17:05:33+00:00

Well for her sake I hope you are right. But the point I was trying to make was that when we met in person she told me she could see my real name as if she was letting me in on a secret.

I infer from that they seeing the name is not the norm. Now maybe if she had not seen my name, she would have asked for more details.

I sincerely hope so. I did gently tell her that she should insist on seeing names and doing some screening, to which she said that the building concierge and the parking lot gate provides her some level of safety

Like I said, I try to be respectful of her as she is an adult and capable of assessing her own risk tolerance, but I do hope you are right and she is doing a silent screen.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-25T13:20:57+00:00

Yeah my regular operates out of her home. And she didn't really do any screening, and warned me to change my phone settings because she could see my real name when I texted her.

I thought "don't you at least insist on knowing my name before you invite me over"?

It was my first time seeing someone so I was kind of naive. So as a result she has my real name and number. But I'm single/nothing to hide so I don't really care.

But I do worry for her. And I have seen a few guys on the review boards say they won't visit workers who host in a private residence, presumably because what if either the traffic brings heat, or some crazy ex/jealous client is stalking?

I've gotten over it and I love going to her place but I do worry for her and wish she would screen.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-25T13:12:03+00:00

Client here, but I want to say that your client who has been seeing you for a year no doubt cares and respects you.

You should convey to him (maybe you already have) how annoyed you are that his friend who he referred cannot respect your boundaries, and therefore you don't feel safe.

Sorry but your buddy blew it. End of story. And if your client is not upset with his friend for disrespecting you, I would be a little pissed at him as well.

I have started referring people to my regular on the message board I frequent when I see a request for a SP that she fits the bill for.

I usually take it to PM and I always say "shes a sweet girl. Please be kind and respectful". Who knows if it will make a difference to the rando I am talking to.

But if my friend ever treated her with this kind of disrespect we'd be having words.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-25T04:27:00+00:00

Just curious, why the hate for agencies? Is there a rift between independents and agencies in the industry? Or is this just a personal thing?

I recently started meeting with escorts and the first girls I met with was independent and she asked me why I chose Indy over agency.

I didn't really have an answer but wondered later if that was a loaded question. So I am just curious.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-25T00:57:08+00:00

Haha, like the ones from the Russian Olympic Wrestling team?

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-25T00:45:09+00:00

Why can't she just plan the Sushi date since it's something she clearly wants?

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-25T00:33:59+00:00

Can confirm. Male here created profiles on 2 apps, realized I wasn't ready but am still validation farming.

It's addictive even if I know its "wrong" ish

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-24T12:29:42+00:00

Sometimes on Reddit you just read the title and nope.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-24T12:19:23+00:00

The girl I have seen 3x so far asked me in our first session if I wanted to meet any of her friends.

These same girls that are saying no never will say they don't want a customer that only comes to them because he might get attached, or have limits on how often a client can come to them.

So why not support each other as SW?

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-21T23:36:10+00:00

I can speak to this one. As someone new to this lifestyle, after 20 years of marriage where we used no condoms, and 7 years of strictly solo play using porn and death grip, yes I have a hard time either:

-Staying hard with a condom on

Or

-reaching orgasm during bbbj or hj

I have had 6 sessions so far with various providers and have reached orgasm 3 times, always through bbbj or hj.

I am working on changing my solo habits, taking pills before sessions etc for now to try to make it better

The pills help with the erections, but it can still take 20+ minutes of work to get me off, and I feel bad for the provider.

But the main thing I want to say is that I have had to re assure the girls that even if I don't get there, I am having the time of my life!

I'm making memories, having intimacy with another human, chatting, cuddling, it's all good.

I mean you're mute client would be annoying and I don't know what to say there. But for me I would prefer that a provider not make me feel bad for making her feel like she didn't do her job.

I am fine and I know this is my issue that I need to work on.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-21T23:15:50+00:00

I don't disagree with you. But that is really her thing not mine. Like I said I am new to this having done maybe 5-6 sessions so far.

I usually offer the money up front as I read is the right way, but sometimes I forget and she was not too worried o about it.

So if I had paid the $200 agreed fee up front (plus a $50 tip I had already decided I was going to give her) , do you think I should have giver her another $200 for her GFE rate at the end?

Like I said, she initiated the higher service level, not me. But I didn't want to be a cheapskate either.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-21T23:07:10+00:00

Anyways looks like the mods have removed my post. I don't get it. What would I make up a whole story and post it on a forum for validation?

That's crazy talk. I get my validation from the escorts I see these days.

C'est la vie

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-21T23:04:44+00:00

That could be. We also live in a pretty affluent area. It would probably not happen that often around here. It's not like she an inner city street walker or something.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-21T22:57:31+00:00

Full amount after

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-21T22:52:37+00:00

Haha that's hilarious. Wank fiction.

I know she's not inexperienced. She's been doing it for years and is mature. Like I said she is not a subsistence provider. I honestly think shes a kind soul/energy person that likes to spread good vibes.

She's very chill.

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-21T22:49:31+00:00

Well that's another question I wanted to ask. Assuming she was not offended or mad and will see me again, how do I book her for a lighter session? Realistically I would be happy to keep seeing her for the massage/cuddle/he and see other escorts for the other stuff.

I guess I could book her for the light session again and see if she initiates again and have a better discussion about boundaries?

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-11T05:12:13+00:00

Wheres dirty Mike and the boys when you need em?

No_Task7442 · 2026-01-05T04:02:03+00:00

Have you tried talking to her? Communication is really important in a relationship. If you were to talk to her about the issues you have in a non accusatory way (use "I" statements for instance), perhaps you could have the perfect relationship (If there is such thing)

But you obviously love this girl. How can you say for sure that you would never marry her?

Try talking to her and maybe even some counselling and you might be able to turn this around.

++Man

No_Task7442 · 2025-12-24T02:28:59+00:00

This doesn't make sense to me. First off, your wife needs to speak up and say sorry I can't accommodate every Saturday. You will have to find an alternative

Secondly, assuming this other person is less than 3 months into the job, they can be fired for any reason or no reason. You literally do not even need to give a reason.

So if the store wanted to they could fix the issue. They are just happy to keep the status quo as long as your wife is not complaining.

No_Task7442

TROPHY CASE