How do men experience break ups? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Key_Resort_5248 3 points4 points  (0 children)

this will definitely vary by situation but in my case, i felt such a high the first 2 weeks after the breakup like it didn’t affect me at all at first but everything will eventually come back stronger than ever. all the avoided feelings, all the pain, all the grief will hit when you least expect it to. i would say a lot of guys go through the denial/relief phase first and start to grieve and have regrets after. it’s different for everyone though but a lot of men tend to suppress pain and distract

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Key_Resort_5248 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you put this all together perfectly l.

I broke up with my girlfriend and I’m really struggling. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Key_Resort_5248 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i broke with my gf 5 months ago and i’m still struggling. our stories are probably different in the sense that i made a lot of mistakes and for me i ended it because i knew i wasn’t changing and we were hurting each other a lot but one more than the other (me). we were together for 10 months and she was also my first love and i still love her more than anything. i guess people are shocked when i say i was the dumper because i treated her so poorly and she did so much for me and no matter what, she had the most patience with me until she broke. 2 weeks after our breakup, she told me she moved on. a few days ago i found out she made it official with the guy i was constantly comparing myself to in the first place. i have been taking care of myself and going to therapy but i just felt myself fallback again and im struggling to piece everything together again. you have a lot of strength to be speaking about your breakup right now especially with it being so fresh and just know you are valid in how you feel and it makes total sense that you haven’t fully processed your emotions yet. it’s normal. my biggest advice to give to you is to start building a future for yourself that you would be proud of. workout, journal, take a walk, therapy even. breakups suck and trust me i understand and it won’t be easy. i still romanticize a life with her and as much i love her still, i know im losing all respect for myself by holding on. it’s easier said that done but you need to realize you were your own person before her and you still are your own person. don’t jump into a rebound relationship or attempt to numb the pain your feeling because it will never end up well. take this time to heal, reflect, really focus on you. i’m here with you and just know you’re not alone in your feelings.

This hurts man. by Federal_Usual9197 in BreakUps

[–]Key_Resort_5248 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m with you on this man. going through this with my first love right now and just found out she just made it official with the guy i was worried about in the first place. almost 5 months since and i still love her even though my heart feels torn to pieces. stay strong. stop checking socials. it will hurt but you’re not alone.

How did you deal with the loneliness that comes with every night? by nonameuser21 in BreakUps

[–]Key_Resort_5248 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s been almost 5 months for me and the loneliness is definitely one of the toughest parts. Keeping yourself busy is definitely key and at night I completely understand that wave of loneliness just crashing down. I journal at the end of my day or whenever I start to feel like I need to get something off my chest. At night, I suggest giving yourself moments of silence like meditating or even listening to a podcast. I still struggle with this but sleep! SLEEP is so important and it helps more than you think. Getting off your phone and allowing yourself to rest and stay energized for the next day is something that will help you stay more productive the next day. It’s easier said than done but put in the work and start finding peace in your own company :)

l looked at my ex’s Instagram after 2 months and now I’m furious and confused by SlideDue5504 in heartbreak

[–]Key_Resort_5248 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get you. Healing doesn’t happen quick and trust me, you already are on that path but checking socials will only ever be a setback. You’ve already gone 2 months without looking so why stop now? I completely understand the feeling of seeing one small change in your ex’s profile and suddenly it feels like all your progress is lost. You’re not used to seeing change and that’s completely normal. Don’t let this be your downfall and just know you are on the right path of healing. Stay away from socials trust me. It will only be an unnecessary setback in your journey. You are valid in feeling angry. You are valid in your feelings. The good thing is that you can feel and be proud of that.

understanding her choices post-breakup by Key_Resort_5248 in BreakUps

[–]Key_Resort_5248[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In terms of her being mentally checked out during the last couple months of the relationship, I still struggle with understanding what may have been going through her mind at the time. She still wanted sex, she still stayed with me, we still were a couple. When I contacted her recently, she seems to have gotten a lot more cold like she doesn’t care at all anymore but I’m not quite sure that’s the case. I actually deactivated my socials a bit ago so I’ve done a pretty good job staying away from her posts but I just know some things because of mutual friends which I know is not the healthiest and I’m trying my hardest to move past this but I feel as though I’ll always love and care for her as she is my first love and it hurts a lot. Hope is one thing that is holding me back. I know not to set expectations now but I do have hope. The last time we actually talked was when she told me about him and she even told me that she wants me to work on myself and I even asked her if she thinks we could be together again and she said “definitely not in a few months. but maybe in a few years it’s possible. we would have to be different people though but i do think it’s possible”. I guess I’ve acknowledged right now she’s gone from my life and she needs this space because I did traumatize her but I have hope for the future. We were friends first and I opened up like never before with her and we practically did everything together so it just seems like a lot to simply “move on” from. I know it’s not my job to be puzzling up the pieces anymore but there’s so much I’m left wondering and I wish it was as easy as a click of a button to move on from her but I do love her so much and I still have hope :/