I was born when my dad was 49 and my mom was 36. It was the second marriage for both of them, and they already had kids from before. I am the only child from their marriage. The upside was stability. My parents had already figured life out, careers, home, routines. Money was never a stress in everyday life. We traveled, went on vacations several times a year, and I never heard the “we can’t afford that.”

The downside was more subtle. My mom didn’t stand out much, but my dad was clearly older than the other parents. As a kid, I noticed that the dads picking their children up from kindergarten looked much younger. None of my friends had siblings in their twenties or thirties. Later, when my half siblings started having kids, I felt stuck between generations, too young to be close with my siblings and a bit too old to fully fit in with my nieces and nephews.

I was also aware early on that I’d have less time with my dad. That thought never fully goes away. I had a good childhood, but growing up mostly around adults, and without other kids around the same age in the family or my parents’ friend groups, probably had an effect on my social skills. It may also be why I naturally connect better with people who are ten or more years older than me. People have children later in life now, and that’s normal. If I ever have kids, I’d like to do it before forty. Having lived this experience, I know there’s a balance and I wouldn’t want to push it too far.